經典科幻文學:《 再見 多謝你們的魚》第38章2

A megaphone barked from a taxi which screeched to a halt on the edge of the milling crowd.

There has been, barked the megaphone, a major scientific break-in! Through. Breakthrough, it corrected itself. The door flew open and a small man from somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse leapt out wearing a white coat.

Hold it! he shouted again, and this time brandished a short squad black rod with lights on it. The lights winked briefly, the ramp paused in its ascent, and then in obedience to the signals from the Thumb (which half the electronic engineers in the galaxy are constantly trying to find fresh ways of jamming, while the other half are constantly trying to find fresh ways of jamming the jamming signals), slowly ground its way downwards again.

Ford Prefect grabbed his megaphone from out of the taxi and started bawling at the crowd through it.

Make way, he shouted, make way, please, this is a major scientific breakthrough. You and you, get the equipment from the taxi.

Completely at random he pointed at Arthur and Fenchurch, who wrestled their way back out of the crowd and clustered urgently round the taxi.

All right, I want you to clear a passage, please, for some important pieces of scientific equipment, boomed Ford. Just everybody keep calm. It’s all under control, there’s nothing to see. It is merely a major scientific breakthrough. Keep calm now. Important scientific equipment. Clear the way.

Hungry for new excitement, delighted at this sudden reprieve from disappointment, the crowd enthusiastically fell back and started to open up.

Arthur was a little surprised to see what was printed on the boxes of important scientific equipment in the back of the taxi.

Hang your coat over them, he muttered to Fenchurch as he heaved them out to her. Hurriedly he manoeuvred out the large supermarket trolley that was also jammed against the back seat. It clattered to the ground, and together they loaded the boxes into it.

Clear a path, please, shouted Ford again. Everything’s under proper scientific control.

He said you’d pay, said the taxi-driver to Arthur, who dug out some notes and paid him. There was the distant sound of police sirens.

Move along there, shouted Ford, and no one will get hurt.

The crowd surged and closed behind them again, as frantically they pushed and hauled the rattling supermarket trolley through the rubble towards the ramp.

It’s all right, Ford continued to bellow. There’s nothing to see, it’s all over. None of this is actually happening.

Clear the way, please, boomed a police megaphone from the back of the crowd. There’s been a break-in, clear the way.

Breakthrough, yelled Ford in competition. A scientific breakthrough!

This is the police! Clear the way!

Scientific equipment! Clear the way!

Police! Let us through!

Walkmen! yelled Ford, and pulled half a dozen miniature tape players from his pockets and tossed them into the crowd. The resulting seconds of utter confusion allowed them to get the supermarket trolley to the edge of the ramp, and to haul it up on to the lip of it.

Hold tight, muttered Ford, and released a button on his Electronic Thumb. Beneath them, the huge ramp juddered and began slowly to heave its way upwards.

Ok, kids, he said as the milling crowd dropped away beneath them and they started to lurch their way along the tilting ramp into the bowels of the ship, looks like we’re on our way.

一輛計程車裡的一個擴音器中高喊著，計程車尖叫著在擠成一團的人群邊緣停下。

“有了一個，”擴音器高喊著，“重大的科學闖入！不是。突破！”它糾正了一下。車門開啟，一個來自參宿四附近的小個子男人穿著一件白色大衣跳了出來。

“等一下！”他又叫了一聲，這次還揮舞這一根上面有燈光的黑色小棍。燈光輕輕閃爍著，坡道停止了上升，而後跟隨著“拇指”的訊號（銀河系中一半的電氣工程師都一直在想找點新的辦法把它堵塞住，而另一半則一直在想找點新辦法來堵塞住堵塞訊號），又重新慢慢放了下來。

福特·長官從計程車裡掏出擴音器，開始用它對著人群大喊大叫。

“讓讓路，”他叫喊著，“請讓讓路，這是一個重大的科學突破。你和你，去把計程車裡的裝置拿來。”

出於徹底的偶然他正好指著了阿瑟和芬切琪，他倆掙扎著從人群中擠了出來，急急忙忙來到計程車邊上。

“好了，我想請你們幫忙讓條路，有些重要的科學裝置，”福特叫喊著，“請大家放心。一切都在控制之中，沒什麼好看的。只是一個重大的科學突破。請放心。重要的科學儀器。讓讓路。”

人群正渴求著新的興奮點，福特突如其來的打斷了他們的失望事件，於是人們都熱心地後退讓出了一條路。

阿瑟看到計程車後面裝著重要科學裝置的箱子上面印刷的內容後有點吃驚。

“把你的衣服搭在上面，”他把箱子遞給芬切琪的時候活。然後他匆匆忙忙把卡在後座裡面的大型超市購物車拖出來。購物車咔噠一聲落到地上，他倆一起把那些箱子放了進去。

“請讓讓路。”福特再次嚷嚷著，“一切都在正確的科學控制之中。”

“他說你會給錢的，”計程車司機對阿瑟說，阿瑟翻出幾張鈔票付了錢。遠處有警笛的聲音傳過來。

“後退一點。”福特喊著，“不會有人受傷的。”

人群湧動，又在他們背後合在一起，他們拼命地推著、拉著咔噠作響的超市購物車穿過碎石地面走向坡道。

“沒什麼的，”福特繼續對下面喊，“沒什麼可看的，都結束了。這些實際上都沒有發生。”

“請讓讓路。”人群的後方傳來警方擴音器的聲音，“發生了一起闖入事件，請讓路。”

“突破，”福特尖叫著反對，“一次科學突破！”

“我們是警察！請讓路！”

“科學裝置！請讓路！”

“警察！讓我們過去！”

“隨身聽！”福特尖叫著從兜裡掏出半打隨身聽來扔到人群裡去。隨之而來的幾秒鐘騷亂使他們得以把購物車推倒了坡道邊上，然後把它拖了上去。

“抓緊了。”福特小聲說，然後鬆開了他的電子拇指上的一個按鈕，巨大的坡道顫動著開始緩慢的向上合攏起來。

“好了孩子們，”福特說，這個時候洶湧的人群已經在落在下方，他們推著購物車沿著傾斜的坡道踉踉蹌蹌地往飛船裡面走，“看起來我們已經上路了。”