諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第3章Part 16
"Yeah." Paul D smiled with her. "Must have been five of them perched up there, and at least fiftyhens."
"Mister, too?"
"Not right off. But I hadn't took twenty steps before I seen him. He come down off the fence postthere and sat on the tub."
"He loved that tub," said Sethe, thinking, No, there is no stopping now.
"Didn't he? Like a throne. Was me took him out the shell, you know. He'd a died if it hadn't beenfor me. The hen had walked on off with all the hatched peeps trailing behind her. There was thisone egg left. Looked like a blank, but then I saw it move so I tapped it open and here come Mister,bad feet and all. I watched that son a bitch grow up and whup everything in the yard."
"He always was hateful," Sethe said.
"Yeah, he was hateful all right. Bloody too, and evil. Crooked feet flapping. Comb as big as myhand and some kind of red. He sat right there on the tub looking at me. I swear he smiled. My headwas full of what I'd seen of Halle a while back. I wasn't even thinking about the bit. Just Halle andbefore him Sixo, but when I saw Mister I knew it was me too. Not just them, me too. One crazy,one sold, one missing, one burnt and me licking iron with my hands crossed behind me. The last ofthe Sweet Home men.
"Mister, he looked so... free. Better than me. Stronger, tougher. Son a bitch couldn't even get outthe shell by hisself but he was still king and I was..." Paul D stopped and squeezed his left handwith his right. He held it that way long enough for it and the world to quiet down and let him goon.
"Mister was allowed to be and stay what he was. But I wasn't allowed to be and stay what I was. Even if you cooked him you'd be cooking a rooster named Mister. But wasn't no way I'd ever bePaul D again, living or dead. Schoolteacher changed me. I was something else and that somethingwas less than a chicken sitting in the sun on a tub."
Sethe put her hand on his knee and rubbed.
“對。”保羅·D同她一起笑了，“上邊肯定落了有五隻公雞，還有起碼五十隻母雞。”
“‘先生’也在？”
“一開始還沒看到。可是我走了不到二十步就瞧見它了。它從柵欄上走下來，坐在木盆上。”
“它喜歡那個木盆。”塞絲說著，心中暗想：不好，現在停不下來了。
“可不是嗎？像個寶座似的。知道麼，是我把它從雞蛋殼裡提溜出來的。要不是我，它早憋死了。那一隻老母雞走開時，身後跟了一大群剛孵出的小雞崽。就剩下這一個雞蛋了。好像是個空殼，可後來我看見它在動彈，就把它敲開了，出來的就是‘先生’，腳有點瘸，一身的毛病。我眼看著那個狗崽子長大，在院子裡橫行霸道。”
“它總是那麼可恨。”塞絲道。
“對，它倒是挺可恨的。又好鬥又凶惡。曲曲彎彎的腳盡瞎撲騰。冠子有我巴掌那麼大，通紅通紅的。它就坐在木盆上看著我。我敢發誓，它在微笑。本來我滿腦子想的都是剛才看見的黑爾。我根本就沒想起來那個馬嚼子。只有黑爾，還有在他之前的西克索，可是當我看見‘先生’的時候，我知道了，那裡面也有我。不光是他們，也有我。一個瘋了，一個賣了，一個失蹤了，一個燒死了，還有我，舌頭舔著鐵嚼子，兩手反綁在背後。也有我，最後一個‘甜蜜之家’的男人。
“‘先生’，它看起來那樣……自由。比我強。比我更壯實，更厲害。那個狗崽子，當初自己連殼兒都掙不開，可它仍然是個國王，而我……”保羅·D停住了，用左手扼住右手。他就那樣久久地攥著，直到它和世界都平息下來，讓他講下去。
“‘先生’還可以是、一直是它自己。可我就不許是我自己。就算你拿它做了菜，你也是在燉一隻叫‘先生’的公雞。可是我再也不能是保羅·D了，活著死了都一樣。‘學校老師’把我改變了。我成了另外一樣東西，不如一隻太陽地裡坐在木盆上的小雞崽。”
塞絲把手放在他的膝蓋上摩挲著。
