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考研英語看圖作文範例點評:父母重負下的婚禮

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看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型,一個提高的方式就是看範例和點評,針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

父母重負下的婚禮:

ing-bottom: 117.41%;">考研英語看圖作文範例點評:父母重負下的婚禮

寫作原文

As is vividly betrayed in the drawing above, a newly-married couple are hugging each other happily and their parents are holding a huge amount of debt hardly. In addition, there is one sentence "Establish their own happiness on the basis of parents(改爲parents',此處應用名詞所有格形式) hardship", which lighlights(拼寫錯誤,改爲highlights)that nowadays many young penple(拼寫錯誤,改爲people) are seeking for their own happiness despite their parents' feeling. So what causes this phenomenon? From my point of view, there are mainly two reasons. First, with the promotion of "Family planning(family planning兩個單詞若要大寫,均大寫;若不大寫,都不大寫)", many families have one child only(改爲only have one child), which makes the child so spoilt that they are used to (加having,be used to doing sth.表示“習慣於做某事”)the high quality life. Second, many children has(改爲have,主語爲children,謂語動詞用原形) the psychology of comparison(“攀比心理”改爲comparing mentality較爲合適), which makes them have the wish to hold a luxurious wedding order to solve this problem, children should develop the virtue of thrifty. As marriage is a lifetime matter, it will not be changed because of their wedding ceremony is luxurious or not.(漢語式英語,可改爲A marriage is a lifetime matter, and it won’t be changed by luxurious wedding ceremony.) So they should refuse luxurious wedding ceremony. Futhermore(拼寫錯誤,改爲Furthermore), parents should not spoil their children by satisfy their all demands(改爲all their demands). I think under the joint effort of parents and children, the ethos of keeping up with the joneses(改爲peer comparison) will be decreased significantly

總體點評

整體來說,文章構思不錯;考研作文的整體思路你已經基本掌握,但還存在一些語法錯誤及漢語式英語的表達。後面要做的就是鞏固語法知識,多積累高分佳句並不斷模仿,弱化漢語思維對英語寫作的影響,併爲自己的文章增彩;再者,寫完之後一定要認真檢查,減少失分點。

參考分數(滿分20分):12

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習,在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步,不怕犯錯誤,怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了範文和點評,希望大家有思考,有提高。