第389期:如何應對發怒的人

The worst possible reaction to a yeller is to mirror their behavior. Things do not go well if you yell at someone who is yelling at you.
面對一個發怒的人最差的反應就是和他們一樣。如果你對着向你大喊大叫的人同樣大喊大叫，情況不會變好。
There are better ways to deal with a yeller. Below are the steps you should use to handle and hopefully diffuse a yeller.
應對大喊大叫的人，其實有更好的方法。試用一下下面的方法，希望這樣可以讓發怒的人消氣。

New Words:
yeller: 嘶吼的人，發怒的人
mirror: vt. 反射；反映
diffuse vi. 傳播；四散
feed into 注入，流入；提供原料
subsequently adv. 隨後，其後；後來
condone vt. 寬恕；赦免
get one's way爲所欲爲；隨心所欲
address vt. 提出；處理

1. Stay calm and don't feed into their anger.
1. 保持冷靜，不要助長他們的氣焰。
Remember that when a person is yelling, it is not you that has the problem, it is them. It is not worth feeding into their yelling, as the situation will just get worse and things are rarely resolved when two parties are yelling at one another.
記住，當一個人在大喊大叫的時候，錯不在你而在他們。助長他們的氣焰，更加肆無忌憚的大喊大叫，真的很不值得。因爲這樣只能讓事情變得更糟，當雙方嘶吼時，很少能真正解決問題。

2. Take a mental step back to assess the situation.
2. 退後一步想想，衡量下局勢。
Before taking any action in the situation, pause mentally to assess things. This will allow you to figure out whether it is worth waiting out the yeller or to leave the situation.
在採取行動之前，先停下來衡量下局勢。這能讓你明白是不是值得等發怒的人把脾氣發完，還是直接離開現場。

3. Do not agree with the yeller to diffuse them, as it encourages future yelling.
3. 不要認同發怒者讓他們消氣，這樣只能讓他們日後更爲囂張。
If you agree with the yeller to diffuse them and subsequently agree to do something or say something that they are asking, you are condoning their yelling. By being agreeable to someone who is yelling at you, it only encourages them to yell at you to get their way in the future.
如果你同意發怒的人，想讓他們消氣，然後緊接着按照他們的要求去說或是做事情，你這是再寬恕他們的嘶吼。認同向你大吼大叫的人，實際上只會助長他們日後隨心所欲地向你大吼大叫。

4. Calmly address the yelling.
4. 平靜的應對嘶喊。
Let the person know that you will not accept being yelled at, regardless of the situation or problem. Say this politely and calmly, and you are more likely to have a positive reaction, such as an apology or at least make them aware that they are in fact yelling. Some people don't even realize they are yelling. Then your next step is to ask for a break away from this person.
不管是在任何情況下或遇到任何問題，讓對方知道你不會接受別人的吼叫。禮貌而冷靜地說，儘可能積極的反應，例如道歉或至少讓他們意識到他們實際上是在吼叫。有些人甚至不知道他們在大喊大叫。然後下一步就是要求離開這個人。

5. Ask for a break from this person.
5. 請求離開這個人。
When you are asking for a break from the person, it should be more of a statement than a question, especially if it's not your boss. If it's a spouse, friend, or someone else, it is completely acceptable to state that you need a break and time to think things through in order to respond appropriately and calmly.
當你要求與某人離開這個人，應該直接的說明而不是詢問，尤其如果這不是你的老闆。如果是配偶，朋友或他人，告訴他們自己需要時間來思考和平靜下，是完全可以被理解和接受的。

6. When you feel your emotions have calmed down, and you know how to address whatever it was they were yelling about, you can now go back to talk to the person.
當你感覺到你已經平靜下來，而且你明白不管他們怎麼嘶喊你都知道如何應對的時候，你現在可以回去和那個人談談了。

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