另一半出軌或許是件好事
Learning that your partner has cheated on you is undeniably a traumatic experience. But while there's no erasing the pain caused by the betrayal, infidelity can lead to opportunities for growth-whether you choose to stay in the relationship or not.
於你而言，另一半出軌無疑是一個致命的傷痛。雖然背叛帶來的傷痛是無法消除的，但出軌也爲人們帶來了機會，教會他們成長--無論你是否會原諒他/她。An honest discussion
坦誠布公的交談Assuming your partner is willing to be open and honest about what happened, discussing the infidelity is an important step toward rebuilding trust. Writing in Psychology Today, marriage therapist Michele Weiner-Davis explains that while the betrayed partner's questions need to be answered "honestly and thoroughly," these conversations are challenging to navigate-which is why it can be helpful to seek guidance from a couples therapist.
假如你的另一半願意和你坦白，那麼談論出軌一事則是重建信任的重要一步。婚姻治療師米歇爾·韋娜·戴維斯是《今日心理學》的一名作者，她解釋道，雖然你需要坦誠明瞭的回答被出軌一方的問題，但此番對話極具挑戰性--所以，尋求夫妻治療師的指導是很有幫助的。
A chance to dig deep
深入挖掘的機會Therapist Larry Cappel explains that in most cases of infidelity, there were "warning signs that something was wrong with the intimacy and connection in the relationship long before the affair happened." Meeting with a couples therapist gives both you and your partner the chance to express how you've been hurt by the other, explore what happened, and look deeper "to understand what emotional and psychological dynamics were at play that led to the affair."
治療師拉里·卡佩爾解釋，對於絕大多數的出軌事件，"出軌前都會有一些警示跡象，比如你們之間不再那麼親密。"尋求夫妻治療師的幫助吧，你和另一半都會有機會表達被其他人傷害的經歷、說說發生了什麼事情，深入探索，這樣就能"瞭解導致出軌的身心原因。"
Self-care
自我關愛Everyday obligations make it easy to forget about self-care, but when you're dealing with the trauma of your partner's infidelity, it's especially important to put your own needs first. Of course, you would rather not be in this situation at all, but one of the ways you can cope is to do things that bring you pleasure. Exercise, spend time with friends, take a bubble bath, cook your favourite dish-these things won't fix the problem, but will alleviate stress and provide a temporary distraction. Committing to a daily self-care ritual now, and sticking to it even after you've healed, is likely to improve your quality of life in the long run.
每天忙於各項瑣事，人們很容易忽略自己的感受。但在'舔舐'另一半出軌帶來的創傷時，請記得以自己的需求爲重。當然，你肯定不願意陷入這種境地，但屆時請做一些令自己開心的事情。鍛鍊、約三五好友、洗個泡泡浴、做頓美餐--雖然這些做法解決不了問題，但卻能緩解壓力，暫時分散你的注意力。每天給自己多點關愛，即使從出軌事件中走出來了也要堅持。長遠看來，此種做法或能提高你的生活質量。Understanding what you want from your next relationship
爲下一段戀情做準備，知道自己想要什麼As you deal with the aftermath of your partner's infidelity, you might gain insight into what you want from your next relationship. A 2016 study entitled "Intrasexual Mate Competition and Breakups: Who Really Wins?" found that many female participants who had been cheated on reported that they had gained wisdom that would help them with future relationships.
從另一半出軌事件中復原的同時，你可能也在爲下一段戀情做準備，知道自己想要什麼。2016年一項名爲《性內伴侶競爭和分手：誰是最後贏家？》的研究發現：，很多被出軌的女性參與者都表示，失敗的戀情讓她們更加聰慧，有助於讓她們爲下一段戀情做好準備。
