人生最後一封信 寫給親愛的人
Over the last 15 years, as a geriatrics and palliative care doctor, I have had candid conversations with countless patients near the end of their lives.
過去15年間，作爲一名老年病學及舒緩療護醫生，我和無數即將走到生命盡頭的病人進行過多次坦誠對話。
The most common emotion they express is regret: regret that they never took the time to mend broken friendships and relationships; regret that they never told their friends and family how much they care; regret that they are going to be remembered by their children as hypercritical mothers or exacting, authoritarian fathers.
他們最常表達的情感是遺憾：遺憾從未花時間去彌合破裂的友誼和關係；遺憾從未告訴朋友和家人自己有多在乎他們；遺憾會以吹毛求疵的母親或嚴苛專制的父親的形象留在兒女的記憶裏。
And that’s why I came up with a project to encourage people to write a last letter to their loved ones.
正因爲如此，我推出了一個項目，鼓勵大家給摯愛之人寫最後一封信。
It can be done when someone is ill, but it’s really worth doing when one is still healthy, before it’s too late.
這封信可以在生病的時候寫，但在身體尚且康泰、一切尚未太遲之前就寫下來，會是非常好的選擇。
It’s a lesson I learned years ago from a memorable dying patient.
這是多年前，我從一位令人難忘的臨終病人身上學到的。
He was a Marine combat veteran who had lived on a staple diet ofSemper Fi and studied silence all his life.
他是海軍陸戰隊的一名退伍老兵，以永遠忠誠爲人生信條，一輩子沉默寡言。
A proud and stoic man, he was admitted to the hospital for intractable pain from widely spread cancer.
這個驕傲而又堅忍的男人，因癌細胞大面積擴散，導致頑固性疼痛而收治入院。
Every day, his wife visited him and spent many hours at his bedside watching him watch television.
妻子每天都會前來探視，在他的病牀旁待上好幾個鐘頭，看着他看電視。
She explained to me that he had never been much of a talker in their 50-plus years of marriage.
她跟我解釋，在他們50多年的婚姻生活中，他向來少言寡語。
But he was far more forthcoming with me, especially when it became clear that his days were numbered.
但他和我倒很有話說，尤其是在他顯然已經時日無多的時候。
He spoke of his deep regret for not having spent enough time with his wife, whom he loved very much, and of his great pride in his son, who had joined the Marines in his father’s footsteps.
他說自己非常後悔沒有花足夠多的時間陪伴深愛的妻子；他還滿懷驕傲地談起了追隨自己的腳步加入海軍陸戰隊的兒子。
One afternoon, when I mentioned these comments to his wife and son, they looked incredulously at each other and then disbelievingly at me.
一天下午，當我對他的妻兒提及這些話的時候，他們對看了一眼，又望向我，滿臉的難以置信。
They thanked me for being kind but stated that my patient was incapable of expressing such sentiments.
他們感謝了我的好意，但卻表示，他不可能表達這樣的情感。
I wanted to prove my credibility and to make sure that his wife could actually hear her husband professing his love.
我想要證明自己沒說謊，並確保他妻子真的能夠聽到他坦陳愛意。
I knew he was unlikely to speak to them directly.
我知道他不願意直接告訴他們。
So I took my huge family camcorder with me the next morning on medical rounds and – with the patient’s consent — recorded an open letter from him to his family.
所以第二天早上巡房時，我帶上了巨大的家用攝像機，並徵得病人的同意，錄下了他給家人的公開信。
When I gave them the taped letter as a keepsake, both his wife and son were moved to tears.
當我把錄下來的話語作爲信物交給他的妻兒時，他們感動得熱淚盈眶。
The experience inspired an idea that has grown into the Stanford Friends and Family Letter Project.
上述經歷給了我靈感，把它轉化成了斯坦福親友書信項目(Stanford Friends and Family Letter Project)。
With guidance from seriously ill patients and families from various racial and ethnic groups, we developed a free template for a letter that can help people complete seven life review tasks: acknowledging important people in our lives; remembering treasured moments; apologizing to those we may have hurt; forgiving those who have hurt us; and saying thank you, I love you and goodbye.
在來自不同族裔羣體的危重病人及其家人指引下，我們設計出了免費的信件範本，可以幫助大家完成回顧人生的七項任務：確認我們生命中重要的人；回憶珍視的時刻；向傷害過的人道歉；原諒傷害過我們的人；說謝謝你，我愛你，以及再見。
While these may seem intuitive, many people don’t complete these steps before they die, leaving their family members with unanswered questions and regret.
這些任務看起來或許頗爲直觀，但許多人在去世前並沒有全部完成，爲家人留下未解之謎和深深的遺憾。
(A video showing people participating in the project can be seen here.)
（一段視頻記錄了人們參與這個項目的情況，點擊此處觀看。）
The letter template, which is available in eight languages, allows writers to express gratitude, forgiveness and regret.
信件範本共有八種語言可供選擇，可以讓寫信人表達自己的感激、諒解和遺憾。
In one letter, a participant wrote to his wife, Lily, I wish I had loved you more.
一位參與者在信中對妻子莉莉(Lily)說，如果我曾更愛你該有多好。
Many writers use the templates to express pride in their children in ways they might not do in person.
許多人會利用它來告訴子女，自己爲他們感到驕傲，而在面對面時，這些話或許難以出口。
One wrote to a son, Michael: You are so courageous to change your major and do what it takes to be successful to reach your dreams.
一位參與者在信中告訴兒子邁克爾(Michael)：你轉換專業，盡一切努力實現自己的夢想，實在是太有勇氣了。
Another wrote, Life for us was never easy but you overcame obstacles.
另一位寫道，我們的生活從未一帆風順，但你克服了重重障礙。
And some apologize.
有些人則會道歉。
A man named Tyrone Scott wrote to his daughter, I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you were growing up.
一個名叫泰隆•斯科特(Tyrone Scott)的男人在信中對女兒說：很抱歉沒能在你長大成人的過程中陪伴左右。
If I could relive my past, I would not have let your mother take you away from me.
如果可以重新來過，我不會讓你媽媽把你從我身邊帶走。
The letters can be a chance to let go of grudges.
寫信還可以是放下恩怨的契機。
Shirley Jones wrote, To Harold: You have forgotten to repay some of the personal loans you obtained from us.
雪莉•瓊斯(Shirly Jones)寫道：致哈羅德(Harold)：你忘了償還從我們這兒得到的某些私人貸款。
We are wiping your account cleared.
我們已經把你的帳一筆勾銷了。
So we invite you to use the Dear Friends and Family template and write your letter now while you still can.
所以我們誠邀各位使用摯愛親朋信件範本，在你還能活動的時候寫下心裏話。
Those with chronic or serious illness may use the illness letter template; there is also a healthy letter template for those in good health.
患有慢性病或者重症的人可以使用病人書信範本，身體健康的人則可以使用健康人士書信範本。
In working with people from diverse cultural backgrounds, I found that some were reluctant to complete the goodbye task for fear that it might become a become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
在與來自不同文化背景的人士合作的過程中，我發現有些人不願完成說再見的任務，因爲擔心這或許會成爲自我實現的預言。
I recommend that people write only the parts they feel comfortable with.
我建議大家只寫不會讓自己感到不舒服的部分。
Once the letter is written, you can choose to share it with your loved ones right away.
寫完信以後，你可以選擇立即和親友分享。
You can also store it in a safe place or with a trusted person to be given to your family in the future.
你也可以把它存在一個安全的地方或者一個信得過的人手中，等到以後再交給家人。
Some people prefer to use the letter as a living legacy document and update it over time.
有些人傾向於把信當成可更新的遺書，會不時地加以修正。
It may take tremendous courage to write a life review letter.
寫一封回顧人生的信可能需要巨大的勇氣。
For some people, it evokes deep and troubling emotions.
對一些人來說，它會勾起內心深處令人不安的情感。
Yet it may be the most important letter you will ever write.
不過，它或許是你一生中寫的最重要的信。
