關於性格內向者的十大誤解:我們不是不愛說話大綱
I was lucky enough to discover a book called, The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D. I feel like someone has written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race of people to which I belong. Not only has it explained many of my eccentricities, it helps me to redefine my entire life in a new and positive context.
我非常幸運的發現了這本《內向者優勢——如何在外向的世界中獲得成功》的好書，我感覺就好像是有人專門爲我們這個罕見的小羣體寫了一部百科全書一樣，它不僅對我的很多怪癖做了解釋，還幫助我從一個嶄新且積極的角度重新定義了我的整個人生。A section of Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place.
Laney 的書中有個章節對人的大腦進行了分析，並解釋了神經元是如何在內向者和外向者的神經系統中跟隨不同的控制通路進行傳遞。如果這本書基於的科學理論是正確的，那就證明了內向者是一羣對多巴胺過度敏感的羣體，太多的外部刺激過量的消耗了它們。相反的，外向者沒有足夠的多巴胺，他們需要依靠大腦的腎上腺去創造它們，外向者通常有更短的神經通路，他們的大腦血流量也相對更少，外向者神經系統中的信息大部分都是通過位於前額葉的布羅卡氏區（Broca’s area）傳遞的，而這裏正是我們的大部分思考發生的地方。Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.) So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (I put this list together myself, some of them are things I actually believed):
不幸的是，根據這本書，只有大約 25% 的人是內向的，而像我這樣極端的就更是少上加少了，這導致了許多的誤解，因爲社會對我們這類人缺乏足夠的瞭解（我很高興我能夠這樣說）。所以下面我列出了一些對內向者的常見的誤解（這是我自己的清單，我對其中一些深信不疑）：
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
誤解1： 內向者不喜歡說話This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
並不是這樣，內向者不說話只是因爲他們覺得沒什麼好說，他們討厭閒談扯淡，如果你讓一個內向者講他感興趣的事情，他可能連着幾天幾夜都講不完。Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
誤解2： 內向者都很害羞Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
內向者沒什麼好害羞的，他們也不是害怕陌生人，他們只是需要一個理由去交際，他們不會爲了交際而交際，如果你想和一個內向者交流，那就直接聊吧，不用擔心禮貌問題。Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
誤解3：內向者都很無禮Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
內向者通常覺得遵從社交禮儀，拐彎抹角的說話沒有一點必要，他們希望每個人都是真實且真誠的，但不幸的是，大多數情況下事情並不是這樣，這讓內向者感到很大的壓力，他們很難融入其中，併爲此感到沮喪。Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
誤解4： 內向者不合羣On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
恰好相反，內向者會非常認真的對待他們爲數不多的朋友，他們最親密的朋友或許用一隻手就可以統計過來，但如果你有幸被一個性格內向者當做朋友，那你就有了一個終生的盟友，一旦你作爲一個人類存在贏得了他們的尊敬，你就入選了。Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
誤解5：內向者不喜歡去公共場合Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
胡扯，內向者只是儘可能的避免去公共場所，他們同樣也會盡量避免捲入複雜的公共活動，因爲他們可以在極短的時間內獲取需要的數據和經驗，所以，他們喜歡在一個地方待很久去“得到某樣東西”，他們總是準備着回家，調整，然後處理一切，實際上，調整絕對是內向者的關鍵所在。Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
誤解6：內向者總是想要獨處Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
內向者只是喜歡自我思考，他們會想很多，他們會白日做夢，他們喜歡解決問題，攻克難題，但是如果他們找不到什麼人來分享他們的發現，他們也能忍受難以想象的孤獨。他們希望在同一時間只和一個人保持親密的感情關係。Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
誤解7：內向者都很古怪Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
內向者通常都是個人主義者，他們不喜歡隨大流，他們喜歡通過特立獨行的生活方式來體現自己的價值，他們總是從自我出發，正因如此，他們也常常挑戰常規，他們的大部分決定都不會以當前的流行趨勢做爲參考。Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
誤解8：內向者都是冷漠的書呆子Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
內向者通常更關注內心世界，他們將更多的精力放到自身的想法和感情上，但這並不代表他們對他們身邊的事情漠不關心，只是他們更喜歡通過內心世界來達成自我滿足。Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
誤解9：內向者不知道如何放鬆和享樂Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
內向者通常喜歡在家或自然中放鬆自己，他們不會去那些嘈雜的公共場所，內向者也不會尋求腎上腺素的刺激，如果有太多的空談和噪音，他們會敬而遠之。他們的大腦對於一種叫做多巴胺的神經遞質太過敏感，內向者和外向者擁有完全不同的神經控制通路，關於這一點，你可以深入瞭解下。Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
誤解 10：內向者可以通過“自我修復”變得外向A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of technIQues an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
想象一個沒有內向者的世界，那個世界也就沒有什麼科學家，音樂家，藝術家，詩人，製片人，醫生，數學家，作家和哲學家了，之所以這麼說，是因爲外向者還是可以通過學習掌握很多種和內向者進行交流的方式（沒錯，我故意顛倒了這兩個詞，讀着很彆扭？我只是爲了讓你們看看我們這個社會有多變態），內向者壓根不需要“自我修復”，他們應該因爲他們這種天生的性格和爲人類做出的貢獻而得到應有的尊敬，並且事實上，一項調查顯示內向的程度和 IQ 成正比。
