寫給女人的幸福忠告:七種美麗涵養,幫你重塑自我(圖)
Regularly engage in time travel. Often the best way to solve a problem is to have a conversation with your future self. How do you do this without bending the space-time continuum? It’s simple, really. Have a seat in your favorite chair and close your eyes. Now imagine walking into a bare room, with plain white walls with a small table and two folding chairs facing across from each other. Sit down in the chair closest to you. Now, in walks your future self 10 years from now. S/he sits across from you and explains that s/he’s there to answer whatever questions you have about the problems you’re facing. Go ahead and begin firing. Ask him/her whatever you want and take advantage of a more experienced version of you.
1、自己解困
通常，解決問題的最佳辦法是：不如向未來的你自己傾述、求助。可世間並無時空隧道啊，那又如何才能辦得到呢？這做起來其實很簡單。舒舒服服地坐在一把椅子裏，閉上雙眼，想象你走進了一個房間，除了白色的粉牆外沒有任何裝飾，只有一張桌子和兩把隔桌對置的摺椅。在靠你身邊的椅子坐下來，十年後的你自己與你的交談就這樣開始了。他（或她）就坐在你的對面，一定是有問必答。那你就敞開心扉，與他（或她）促膝長談吧。有疑難只管問，然後採納答案中比較成熟的優化方案。
Before you act, hold back. You would think that immediate, unmitigated action is best. Act quick! Buy now! Hurry before it’s too late! These seem to be the cultural beliefs we’re imprinted with. But is acting quickly really better? I think sometimes the opposite is better. Think about what you want, but wait to act. Just spend ten minutes thinking about what you want to create and allow yourself to feel what it will be like to take action. I think you’ll find when you build anticipation like this, the quality of your action will improve.
2、三思而行
你或許認爲“雷厲風行，只爭朝夕”是最好的辦事風格吧。馬上！現在！立即！要不就太晚了！這類觀念似乎已在我們的文化中打下了深深的烙印。然而，雷厲風行就一定會捷足先登嗎？依我看，有時倒是適得其反。所謂“三思而後行”，就是讓你在付諸行動之前花上十來分鐘把要做的事通盤考慮一下，並預期一下事態的走向和結果。我想，如果你預先做了這類功課的話，將會發現辦事的效果有了質的飛躍。
Ignore and doubt yourself. Sometimes listening to yourself and getting in touch with your intuition is important. But what if you don’t like what you have to say to yourself? What if you have patterns of thought that aren’t serving you? Sometimes it’s better to allow them to be there and ignore them, rather than trying to push them out. Other times, it’s even important to doubt yourself… that is, doubt what you think you’re capable of. We often underestimate our potential, so it can be beneficial to create the habit of doubting what you think you can do. It’s often much more than you think.
3、虛懷忘我
不時聆聽自己的心聲，感受直覺的認知是相當重要的。然而，要是你一點也不想聽那些逆耳忠言怎麼辦？要是你把自己的那些拙招臭棋當成是英明決策又該如何？此時，把它們撂在旁邊涼快涼快要比一意孤行好得多。有時甚至最好懷疑你是否真的就象自己想象的那樣高明。一般來說，人們常常會低估自己的潛能，這倒有利於我們養成防止頭腦過熱的習慣，而出現頭腦過熱現象的機率遠比你想象的要多得多。
Feel before you do. A lot of the time we create to do lists or start projects based on what we want to get done or want to accomplish. The feeling is supposed to come after we’re done. We’re supposed to feel good by accomplishing. While this approach seems very logical, it doesn’t always work too well. It’s much better to start with the feeling you want to create, and then choose the actions you want to take that will create that feeling. This is a hard habit to create, because it doesn’t seem reasonable and requires a lot of trust. You’ll also have to have the courage to stop doing a lot of things that don’t create the feeling you want. That takes a lot of guts. But it’s worth it.
4、醞釀成功
很多時候，我們辦理列在表上的事項或啓動某些項目都是基於自己想做那些事，或想要完成那些項目的意願。事情辦成了我們或許會感到輕鬆愜意，項目園滿完成之後我們也許會覺得心滿意足。然而，每當我們認爲這類感覺會順理成章地不期而至之時，它卻往往羞羞答答，若隱若現。因此，你不如從工作開始就找到預期的感覺，然後從打算採取的措施之中選擇那些能醞釀（成功）感覺的付諸實施。要養成這種習性確實不容易，因爲它似乎不合情理而且需要對它充分信任。此外，你還得有勇氣終止衆多的、不能產生預期感覺的那些事。養成這種習性要花費你大量的心血，可那值得。
What would happen if this was easy…? As a culture we value people that work hard and beat the odds. We think it’s important to pay our dues and grind it out. But what if work didn’t have to be hard? What if your life didn’t have to be hard? What would happen if things were easy? Regularly asking yourself this question and seeing what comes up can be game changing.
5、張弛有度
我們的文化向民衆賦予“努力工作，勇於在逆境中拚搏”等價值觀，認爲重要的是：不僅要竭盡所能，而且應百尺竿頭，更進一步。然而，如果工作勿須滿負荷運轉該如何呢？如果你的生活也並未陷入困境又該如何呢？稍稍放鬆一點兒就會出事嗎？不時這樣問問自己，再走着瞧瞧，你就會有所改變的。
What do I think is impossible…? Sometimes we think that we’re only capable of a certain level of achievement. We doubt our own capabilities or think that a certain change would be too hard or impossible. We’ve set ourselves up to fail before we even begin. Ask yourself this question, then ask yourself why you think it’s hard or impossible. Then take a moment to pretend it wasn’t. What would you do differently?
6、自詡自信
有時，我們會覺得自己“水平有限”，不相信自己的能力，或認爲“要想提高實在是太難了，甚至是不可能的”。於是，我們在尚未邁步之前就已經把自己置於敗局之中了。捫心自問，你至少還有點能力吧？再接着問問，爲什麼把改變現狀看得那麼難，或認爲根本不可能呢？然後，花點時間自詡自信一番，裝着無所畏懼的樣子：“那其實一點也不難，我一定能做到”！如此這般之後，你的舉止會有什麼不同嗎？
What would I do if I had everything I needed already…? A lot of the time we think we need more than we do in order to do what we want. We think we need more time. More money. More resources. More support. But is that really true? You can do a lot with a little. Many businesses are built with little to no start up money. Many great projects are started with a simple idea and a willingness to work hard. What if you didn’t need whatever it is you think you need to start? What if you had everything you needed right now?
7、因陋就簡
通常，爲了做好某件事，我們要求的東西往往比實際需要的多得多。我們認爲需要更多的時間，更多的金錢，更多的資源，更多的支持等等。事實果真是這樣的嗎？其實，憑着因陋就簡，你也能幹出一番大事業。許多公司都是在只有很少、甚至沒有啓動資金的情況下建立起來的；許多偉大工程在創業之初能夠依靠的僅僅只是一個簡單的構思和爲之艱苦奮鬥的奉獻精神。當你要做某事時，要是沒有你認爲必需的那些東西，你會怎麼做？要是現在就有了你要求的所有東西，你又會怎麼做？
