戀愛不成功? 改變你的調情方式

There is a lot more to flirting than fun, according to a new research study that says finding success in romance depends in part on understanding your own personal "flirting style."

Whether or not you prefer sidling up to a stranger in a bar or you'd rather sit back and wait for an object of attraction to approach are distinctions that once recognized can help people navigate the rocky seas of relationships, according to Jeffrey Hall, assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas.

Hall recently completed a study into styles of flirting among dating adults, surveying more than 5,100 people regarding their methods of communicating romantic interest.

"Knowing something about the way you communicate attraction says something about challenges you might have had in your past dating life," Hall said. "Hopefully, this awareness can help people avoid those mistakes and succeed in courtship."

Hall said there are essentially five styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere and playful.

In physical flirting, people express their sexual interest in a potential partner and, he says, often quickly can develop the relationships, have more sexual chemistry and have a greater emotional connection to their partners.

Traditional flirts tend to believe that men should make the first moves, with women assuming more passive roles. Both sexes comfortable with this style seem to prefer more "intimate" dating scenes, he said.

There are many people whose flirting styles fall into the category of "playful" and are aimed largely at enhancing their own self-esteem, Hall said. These people are less likely to have lasting and meaningful relationships, he added.

"In some ways, the very early part of developing relationships is important to the success of long-term relationships, including marriages," he said.

Hall co-authored the article with Steve Carter, senior director of research and product development at online dating site ; and other researchers.

一項新研究表明，調情不止是樂趣，戀愛成功與否有一部分取決於對自己個人的“調情方式”的瞭解。

堪薩斯大學傳播學研究助理教授傑弗瑞•霍爾稱，無論在酒吧裏你是更喜歡挪到陌生人身邊，還是寧願坐在那裏等着有吸引力的目標靠近，只要認清自己的行爲特徵，就能幫助你渡過感情關係中的驚濤駭浪。

霍爾最近研究了戀愛中的成年人的調情方式，對5100多人傳情達意的方式進行了調查。

霍爾說：“瞭解自己傳情達意的方式，可以解釋你在過去的戀愛中可能經歷過的挫折。希望這種認識可以幫助人們避免這些錯誤，成功戀愛。”

他說，調情方式有五種基本類型：肢體型、傳統型、禮貌型、真誠型和戲謔型。

他認爲，在肢體型調情中，人們會向潛在的伴侶表示出性趣。這種方式通常會使戀情迅速發展，使雙方更易來電，感情更爲親密。

他說，採用傳統型調情方式的人往往認爲男性應當主動邁出第一步，而女性則應扮演更爲被動的角色。採用這種調情方式的男女雙方似乎都更喜歡“親密”的約會場景。

霍爾說，有很多人的調情方式屬於“戲謔型”，他們的主要目的在於提高自信心。他補充說，這些人不太可能擁有持久和認真的感情關係。

他說：“在某些方面，戀情確立之初的情況對於包括婚姻在內的長期感情關係的成敗十分重要。”

該研究報告由霍爾和史蒂夫•卡特及其他研究人員共同撰寫。史蒂夫•卡特是在線約會網站eHarmony的研究及產品開發高級主管。

Vocabulary:

sidle: to walk somewhere in a shy or uncertain way as if you do not want to be noticed（猶猶豫豫地走；羞怯地走；悄悄地走）

navigate: to find the right way to deal with a difficult or complicated situation 找到正確方法（對付困難複雜的情況）