經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第30章3

“I think we make them happy,” said Ford.
Slowly and watchfully they walked round the perimeter of the clearing. This seemed to go down very well with the natives who bowed to them very slightly and then went about their business.
Ford and Arthur continued their journey through the wood. A few hundred yards past the clearing they suddenly came upon a small pile of fruit lying in their path – berries that looked remarkably like raspberries and blackberries, and pulpy, green skinned fruit that looked remarkably like pears.
So far they had steered clear of the fruit and berries they had seen, though the trees and bushed were laden with them.
“Look at it this way,” Ford Prefect had said, “fruit and berries on strange planets either make you live or make you die. Therefore the point at which to start toying with them is when you’re going to die if you don’t. That way you stay ahead. The secret of healthy hitch-hiking is to eat junk food.”
They looked at the pile that lay in their path with suspicion. It looked so good it made them almost dizzy with hunger.
“Look at it this way,” said Ford, “er…”
“Yes?” said Arthur.
“I’m trying to think of a way of looking at it which means we get to eat it,” said Ford.
The leaf-dappled sun gleamed on the pulp skins of the things which looked like pears. The things which looked like raspberries and strawberries were fatter and riper than any Arthur had ever seen, even in ice cream commercials.
“Why don’t we eat them and think about it afterwards?” he said.
“Maybe that’s what they want us to do.”
“Alright, look at it this way…”
“Sounds good so far.”“It’s there for us to eat. Either it’s good or it’s bad, either they want to feed us or to poison us. If it’s poisonous and we don’t eat it they’ll just attack us some other way. If we don’t eat, we lose out either way.”
“I like the way you’re thinking,” said Ford, “Now eat one.”
Hesitantly, Arthur picked up one of those things that looked like pears.
“I always thought that about the Garden of Eden story,” said Ford.
“Eh?”
“Garden of Eden. Tree. Apple. That bit, remember?”
“Yes of course I do.”
“Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says do what you like guys, oh, but don’t eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting ‘Gotcha’. It wouldn’t have made any difference if they hadn’t eaten it.”
“Why not?”
“Because if you’re dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won’t give up. They’ll get you in the end.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Never mind, eat the fruit.”
“You know, this place almost looks like the Garden of Eden.”
“Eat the fruit.”
“Sounds quite like it too.”
Arthur took a bite from the thing which looked like a pear.
“It’s a pear,” he said.
A few moments later, when they had eaten the lot, Ford Prefect turned round and called out.
“Thank you. Thank you very much,” he called, “you’re very kind.”
They went on their way.

“我想我們還是讓他們高興吧。”福特說
於是，他們緩慢而警惕地繞過這片空地。這樣做似乎很好，土著們向他們微微鞠躬，然後就去忙自己的事了。
幅特和阿瑟繼續在樹林中穿行。過了那片空地之後大約幾百碼，他們突然發現一小堆水果放在他們前面的路上，漿果類，看上去很像是覆盆子和草莓，另一種柔軟多汁的綠皮水果看上去則很像梨子。
到目前爲止，他們還沒有嘗過一路上所看見的任何水果和漿果，雖然樹上和灌木叢中有很多。
“這件事要這樣來看，”福特長官曾經說過，“陌生星球上的水果和漿果可能會使你生存下來，也可能會使你死掉。因此，只有當你如果不這麼做就會餓死的時候，才能夠開始食用這些東西。這就是你應當遵循的原則。搭便車漫遊的健康祕訣就是，只吃快餐。”
他們懷疑地看着前進路上的這堆東西。它們看上去足這樣可口，使得他們感到幾乎要餓得發暈了。
“這件事要這樣來看，”福特說，“嗯”
“什麼？”阿瑟問。
“我正在試圖找到一個看待這件事的正確角度，即意味着我們應該吃掉它們的角度。”福特說。
斑駁的陽光灑在那種看上去像梨子的東西的表皮上。而看上去像是覆盆了和草莓的東西，則比阿瑟以前見過的任何草莓更加肥厚、透熟，連冰激凌廣告裏的草莓都比不上它。
“我們爲什麼不先吃掉他們，再來考慮這個問題呢，”阿瑟說。
“也許他們正是希望我們這麼做。”
“好吧，這件事要這樣來看”
“到目前爲止，你的話聽上去還不錯。”“這堆東西在那兒等着我們去吃——無論它們是好還是壞，無毒死我們。如果東西有毒而我們叉沒有吃的話，他們還會採取其他辦法來襲擊我們。所以，就算我們不吃，我們反正無論如何還是輸定了。”
“我喜歡你看問題的角度。”福特說，“現在，吃一個吧。”
猶豫中，阿瑟拿起一個看上去像是梨子的東西。
“我總是會想起伊甸園的故事。”福特說。
”嗯？”
“伊甸園。樹。蘋果，記得嗎？”
“是的，我當然記得。”
“你們的那個上帝在花園中央放了一棵蘋果樹，然後說，幹任何體喜歡乾的事吧，夥計，哦，但是別吃那蘋果。奇怪呀奇怪，他們吃了，而他從一堆灌術後面跳出來，大叫‘逮住你們了’。其實，就算他們沒有吃，也會落個同樣的下場。”
“爲什麼？”
“因爲，如果你是在和有着這種心態的傢伙打交道的話，體應該很清楚地知道，他們是不會放棄的。他們最後總會逮住你的！”
“你在說些什麼啊，”
“沒什麼，吃水果吧。”
“你知道，這個地方看起來真像伊甸園。”
“吃水果吧。”
“聲音也像。”
阿瑟咬了一口這個看上去像是梨子的東西。
“就是梨子。”他說。
過了一陣之後，他們已經吃下去了很多。福特，長官轉過身，朝着後面大喊。
“謝謝你們，太感謝你們丁。”他喊道，“你們真好。”
然後他們繼續上路。