經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第6章 Part 4

"Howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl gargle gargle howl gargle gargle gargle howl slurrp uuuurgh should have a good time. Message repeats. This is your captain speaking, so stop whatever you're doing and pay attention. First of all I see from our instruments that we have a couple of hitchhikers aboard. Hello wherever you are. I just want to make it totally clear that you are not at all welcome. I worked hard to get where I am today, and I didn't become captain of a Vogon constructor ship simply so I could turn it into a taxi service for a load of degenerate freeloaders. I have sent out a search party, and as soon that they find you I will put you off the ship. If you're very lucky I might read you some of my poetry first.
"Secondly, we are about to jump into hyperspace for the journey to Barnard's Star. On arrival we will stay in dock for a seventy-two hour refit, and no one's to leave the ship during that time. I repeat, all planet leave is cancelled. I've just had an unhappy love affair, so I don't see why anybody else should have a good time. Message ends."
The noise stopped.
Arthur discovered to his embarrassment that he was lying curled up in a small ball on the floor with his arms wrapped round his head. He smiled weakly.
"Charming man," he said. "I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one ..."

“嚎叫、嚎叫、咕噥、嚎叫、咕噥、嚎叫、嚎叫、”嚎叫；咕噥、嚎叫、咕噥、嚎叫、嚎叫、咕噥、咕噥、嚎叫、咕噥、咕噥、咕噥、嚎叫……重複一遍。這裏是你們的艦長在講話，停下你們手頭正在乾的仟何事情，注意聽着。首先，我們的儀器告訴我，飛船上來了兩位搭便車的漫遊者。你們好，不管你們現在在哪兒。我必須清楚地表明我們的立場：你們是不受歡迎的。我能到今天的位置，靠的是我的努力工作，能當上沃貢建築施工飛船的艦長不是因爲我會把飛船變成免費爲乘客提供服務的出租車。我已經派出了一支搜索隊，一旦找到你們，我會把你們扔出飛船。當然，如果你們足夠幸運的話，也許我會先給你們讀幾句我的詩。
“第二，我們即將進行通往巴納德星的超空間躍遷。到達以後，我們將在空間碼頭內進行72小時檢修，這期間任何人不得離開飛船。我再重複一遍，任何離開飛船到星球上去的行爲都是不允許的。我自己剛剛遇上了一次很不愉快的泡妞經歷，所以我不希望你們其他這些人有可能享受一次美妙的豔福。講話完畢。“
然後這聲音就消失了。
阿瑟這時才尷尬地發現自己已經蜷成一圈躺在地板上了，雙臂還抱着腦袋。他只好勉強笑了笑。
“一個很有魅力的人。”他說，“我真希望自己有個女兒，那樣的話我就可以不准她嫁給這麼一位……”