《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 45 (95):禪修洞
Going into that meditation cave every day is supposed to be this time of divine communion, but I've been walking in there lately flinching the way my dog used to flinch when she walkedinto the vet's office (knowing that no matter how friendly everybody might be acting now, this whole thing was going to end with a sharp poke with a medical instrument). But after my last conversation with Richard from Texas, I'm trying a new approach this morning. I sit down to meditate and I say to my mind, "Listen—I understand you're a little frightened. But I promise, I'm not trying to annihilate you. I'm just trying to give you a place to rest. I love you."
每天去禪修洞，應當是此種神聖交流的時刻，然而當我最近走進去的時候，總是退縮不前，就像我的狗走進獸醫診所時經常退縮不前（它知道無論大家現在表現得多友善，最後的結果都是被某種醫療用具狠戳一記）。但是上回和德州理查談過話後，今天早上我試了一種新方法。我坐下來禪坐，對自己的腦子說：“聽着——我瞭解有你點害怕，但我保證不會消滅你。我只是想給你一個地方休息。我愛你。”The other day a monk told me, "The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go."
前幾天，一位僧侶告訴我“頭腦的休憩地是心。頭腦整天只聽見叮叮噹噹的鐘聲、噪音，和爭辯，但它只渴望平靜。頭腦只能在沉靜的心當中，找到平靜。你得去那裏才行。”I'm trying a different mantra, too. It's one I've had luck with in the past. It's simple, just two syllables:我還試了另一種咒語。這句咒語從前是我的吉祥咒語。很簡單的兩個音節：
Ham-sa.
“宏——撒（Ham-sa）。
In Sanskrit it means "I am That."
梵語的意思是“我是他”。
The Yogis say that Ham-sa is the most natural mantra, the one we are all given by God before birth. It is the sound of our own breath. Ham on the inhale, sa on the exhale. (Ham, by the way, is pronounced softly, openly, like hahhhm, not like the meat you put on a sandwich. And sa rhymes with "Ahhhh . . .") As long as we live, every time we breathe in or out, we are repeating this mantra. I am That. I am divine, I am with God, I am an expression of God, I am not separate, I am not alone, I am not this limited illusion of an individual. I've always found Ham-sa easy and relaxing. Easier to meditate with than Om Namah Shivaya, the—how would you say this—"official" mantra of this Yoga. But I was talking to this monk the other day and he told me to go ahead and use Ham-sa if it helped my meditation. He said, "Meditate on whatever causes a revolution in your mind."
瑜伽士說“宏——撒”是最自然天成的咒語，在我們每個人出生前由神賜予。其音調是我們自己的呼吸。吸氣是“宏”，吐氣是“撒”。（順帶一提，“宏”的發音柔軟、開放，而“撒”與“宏”押同韻。）只要我們活着，我們每回的吸氣、吐氣都在複誦這句咒語。我是他。我很非凡，我與神同在，我是神的寫照，我不疏離，不孤單，不是有限的個人幻象。我向來認爲“宏——撒”簡單而輕鬆。比“唵南嘛溼婆耶”更容易在禪坐時誦唸，就像——怎麼說呢——瑜伽的 “官方”咒語。但有一天我和僧侶談起這件事，他跟我說“宏——撒”若有助於我的禪坐，就去用吧。他說：“無論依什麼進行禪坐，都能在你心中產生革命性的變化。”
So I'll sit with it here today. Ham-sa.
今天就讓我拿它禪坐吧。 宏——撒。
I am That.
我是祂。
