大學女生談戀愛更愛AA制 College Girls Tend to Like AA System
After a seemingly endless 12-year journey, students finally reach their cherished destination and settle down as freshmen. After the struggles of middle and high school, college is a haven for freshers: A warm bed, new friends and, most important of all, freedom. Only one thing is missing: A romantic partner who can bring vitality and flavor to the college experience.
But this flavor can often be soured by that well-worn poisoner of relationships everywhere: Money. And money issues can damage such a fragile butterfly as campus love.
Male students, as a result of both societal conditioning and a sense of chivalry, often take it for granted that paying the bill is symbolic of both their value in a relationship and the embodiment of politeness. “I never let a girl pay the bill, or I feel embarrassed,” said Wei Xu, an 18-year-old freshman at Sichuan Agricultural University.”
According to an online survey on that quizzed 6,000 students, 8.8 percent of them (mostly male) get an extra “relationship budget” from parents. Every month, Wei’s father gives him another several hundred yuan so that he can sustain the status of generous boyfriend.
Whereas, according to female students, having a boyfriend that acts like an ATM machine is not always welcome. “Spending parents’ money is not something to be proud of,” said Pan Tongtong, 18, a freshman at Beijing Normal University. “I would view such a boy as an irresponsible type. Liu Na, 18, a freshman at Shenzhen University, echoed those sentiments by saying that she prefers going Dutch as a way to show each other respect. “The nature of a relationship is sharing not taking,” said Liu. “Plus, I don’t want to feel as though I am relying on my boyfriend financially.”
However, male students find it hard to accept the dawning reality of financial co-existence. Wei Xu believes that it would hurt his pride to ask a girl to share the cost. “I just don’t know how to open my mouth to raise the subject,” Wei said. Girls, however, prefer setting ground rules regarding such matters so as to rule out any possible misunderstandings. “It’s better to get things straight before dating, so that neither part feels undue pressure on the matter of money, which could be a sensitive subject in a relationship,” said Qin Xiaolan, a 19-year-old freshman at Wuhan University. Some, however, balance things differently. Ma Shunyang, 20, a sophomore student at Guangdong Foreign Studies University, always gives some money to her boyfriend before going out for a dinner or a movie. “It is understandable for my boyfriend to be the one in charge in front of others,” said Ma. Ma also thinks that having expensive dinners or going to expensive moviesdoesn'tguarantee a happy relationship. “The key is how much thought is put into the relationship, not how much money,” said Ma.
12年的求學之途看似漫漫無期，但學生們最終到達了一直期盼的目的地，邁入了大學校門。相對於初中和高中的艱苦奮鬥，大學就是避風港：溫暖的牀鋪，新的朋友，最重要的，就是自由。而對大學生來說，唯獨缺少的一樣東西，就是一位能夠爲大學生活增添活力與回味的情感伴侶。
不過，在一個東西面前，這種味道就變質了，雖然這個東西平凡得不能再平凡，卻是所有感情的毒藥，那就是：錢。錢能破壞如蝴蝶般脆弱的校園愛情。
出於社會習慣以及紳士風度的考慮，男孩往往認爲付賬是天經地義的，因爲這既是他們價值的象徵，又是禮貌的體現。“我從來不讓女孩買單，這會使我感到尷尬。”18歲的四川農業大學大一新生魏敘（音譯）是這樣認爲的。
搜狐網針對6000名學生做了一項網上調查，其中有8.8%的人（大部分是男生）從父母那裏獲得了額外的“戀愛預算”。每月，魏敘（音譯）都從父親那額外獲得幾百塊，維繫他作爲一個慷慨男友的形象。
但是，在女生看來，一個像自動取款機一樣的男友並不總那麼受歡迎。“花父母的錢不值得驕傲，在我看來是沒有責任心的表現。”北京師範大學大一新生潘彤彤（音譯）如是說。深圳大學18歲的新生劉娜（音譯）也持有同樣的觀點，她更傾向於AA制，這樣可以表示對互相的尊敬。“愛情的本質是分享不是索取，另外我不想讓人覺得我是在被男朋友養着。”
然而，逐漸興起的經濟獨立並不容易被男生接受。魏敘認爲請求女孩分擔花銷是傷自尊的事。他說：“我都不知道該如何開口提出這個要求。“而女孩更喜歡先定好基本原則，以防出現可能的誤解。“在約會前最好先把事說清楚，這樣雙方都不會在錢的問題上感到過分的壓力，這在雙方相處中是個敏感問題。”武漢大學19歲的新生秦小蘭（音譯）說。當然有些人也有不同的處理方式。廣東外語外貿大學20歲的二年級生馬順陽（音譯）在吃飯或者看電影前總是先給他男朋友錢。她說：“我能理解我的男朋友在其他人面前願意表現出佔主導的姿態。”她還認爲吃飯看電影花大價錢並不能保證幸福的愛情。她認爲：“問題的關鍵在於投入了多少感情，而不是多少錢。”
