初一英語笑話
英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑,笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式。下面是本站小編整理的初一英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
初一英語笑話： Count to one Hundred Before You Speak
In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,"Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100."
No sooner had the teacher stopped talking than the students began to count.
at last all the students shouted together,"1...98,99,her,your clothes are on fire."
數到一百再說
課堂上，老師背靠火爐站着，對學生們說：“說話前要三思，起碼數到50，重要的事情要數到一百。”
老師的話音剛落，學生立刻從“1”開始數起來。最後一起喊：“98，99，100!老師，您的衣服着火了。”
初一英語笑話：The Advantage of Alcohol
In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"
The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."
酒的好處
爲了證明酒精對生物的危害，老師把一隻蟲子放入裝有酒精的杯子裏，蟲子很快就死了。老師問一個學生：“這說明了什麼?”
學生答道：“說明人多喝酒，就不會長蟲子。”
初一英語笑話：Exchange the Tortoise for the Wolf
Teacher:Some students are becoming you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?
Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.
Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?
Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.
把烏龜換成狼
老師：有些同學開始驕傲了，大家還記得龜兔賽跑的故事嗎。小明，你說說看，兔子爲什麼輸給烏龜?
小明：因爲它睡覺了。
老師：對極了!我們應該怎麼做才能讓兔子不睡覺呢?
小明：把烏龜換成狼!
初一英語笑話：
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."
中文：
我的同事有好幾小時不見人了。我們瘋了地到處找他。最後老闆發現，他正在睡大覺。沒叫醒他，老闆悄無聲息地在我的同事的胸前放了個紙條。“睡覺時”，條上寫着，“你是我的員工，醒來你就不是了
初一英語笑話：
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的藉口
老師：湯姆，您爲什麼每天上學遲到?
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫着："學校----慢行。"
初一英語笑話：
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."
初一英語笑話：
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him,” Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes, Mum.” Tommy replied,” I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店裏買一盒好用的火柴。湯米回來後，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎?”
“是的，媽媽。”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了。”
初一英語笑話：
Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
開車
父親：哎呀，我剛纔違規右轉彎了。
蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你後面的警察也這麼轉了。
初一英語笑話：
Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆。”他回答說。“你真是一個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢。可你爲什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”
“她是個賣糖果的
初一英語笑話：Little Brother Got off
Tommy:Mom, what was the name of the last station our train stopped at?
Mother:Don’t bother me. I don’t know. Don’t you see I’m reading?
Tommy:Well, it’s too bad if you don’t know. Little brother got off there.
弟弟下車了
湯姆:“媽媽,我們這火車停過的上一站叫什麼名字?”
母親:“別打擾我,我不知道。沒看見我在看書嗎?”
湯姆:“哇,你不知道就太糟了,弟弟在那站下了車。
初一英語笑話：I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
“我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個幹什麼?”
“因爲我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”
初一英語笑話：A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峯期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面衝過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
初一英語笑話：
He is really somebody他真是一個大人物
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- He is really somebody. What does he do? 他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 墓地守墓人。
