雙語英文笑話閱讀大全
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨着網絡的普及它已經滲透到了青年羣體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。下面是本站小編帶來的雙語英文笑話閱讀，歡迎閱讀!
Mother, You Can Come Down 媽媽，您可以下來了
The cruise ship my friend was working on socked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below.
The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70's appeared at the top of the plank1. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, mother, you can come down now."
我的一個朋友在遊船上工作。由於潮水當時漲得很高，船停靠在墨西哥的一個港口，遊客們不得不踩着一條很窄的跳板才能上岸。
當一位七十多歲的老婦人站在跳板的頂端時，船上所有的工作人員都嚇呆了。跳板太窄，根本沒有攙扶老人的空間。因此，老婦人只好慢慢地側着身子往下走，最終當她安全抵達碼頭後，大家懸着的心才放了下來。下來後，老婦人轉過身，衝着跳板的另一端喊道：“沒事的，媽媽，您現在可以下來了。”
雙語英文笑話閱讀篇二Thirty Years and Five Minutes 30年和5分鐘
A rich Paris banker begged a well-known artist to do a little thing for his album1. The artist did the little thing and asked a million francs.
“Why, it only took you five minutes to do it,” said the banker.
“Yes,” replied the artist, “but it took me thirty years to learn how to do it in five minutes.”
一位很富有的巴黎銀行家懇求一位著名的畫家爲自己畫一張小畫。畫家畫完之後，向他收取一百萬法郎的報酬。
“爲什麼?你僅用了5分鐘的時間。”銀行家說。
“是的，”畫家回答，“可是我用了30年的時間才學到這5分鐘裏所做的事。”
雙語英文笑話閱讀篇三Who Is the Greatest? 誰最了不起
A judge, a bishop1, and a conductor were having a discussion. All three were rather vain men, and their talk soon turned to the question of which of them was the greatest.
"Well," said the judge, "My position is one of dignity and power. When I walk into the courtroom, the bailiff says ‘All rise!’ and all the people stand to pay me honor."
"That's very nice," said the bishop. "People stand in your honor; but when people have an audience with me they kneel, kiss my ring, and they address me as 'Your Holiness.'"
The conductor snorted and said, "I think I got you both beat; when I step onto the podium, as guest conductor, the people look down, put their hands over their eyes, and say 'Oh, my God!'"
一個法官、一個教堂主教和一位指揮家正在進行一場辯論。三個人都是虛榮自負的人，他們的話題很快轉到他們之中誰是最偉大的人上。
“嗯，”法官說，“我的職業既高貴又擁有權力，當我走進法庭的時候，獄警會說‘全體起立!’接着所有人都會站起來向我致意。”
“好極了，”主教說，“人們站起來向你致敬。當我出現在教堂裏，人們會跪在我的面前，親吻我的戒指，並稱呼我爲‘陛下’。”
指揮家哼了一聲，說道：“我覺得你們都不如我。當我作爲客座指揮走上指揮台的時候，人們都垂着頭，用手捂着眼睛，說道，‘噢，我的上帝!’”
雙語英文笑話閱讀篇四Prepare Yourself 自己準備
A story around campus1 has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom-flunked all courses. Kicked out of school, Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
在校園裏廣爲流傳着這樣一個故事：有一次，一個學生給他的父母發了一封電報，上面寫道：“媽媽，我的功課沒有一門及格的，我已經被學校開除了，請爸爸做好準備。”
過了兩天，這個學生收到回電：“爸爸已經準備好了，你自己也做好準備吧!”
雙語英文笑話閱讀篇五Cheater 作弊者
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny, I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests."
Johnny was astounded1 and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well," said Mr. Johnson, "I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington', and so did you."
"So, everyone knows that he was the first president."
"Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was. 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put 'Abraham Lincoln', and so did you.”
"Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny.
"Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was,'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know', and you put, 'Me neither'.”
考試後的一天，約翰遜先生在課堂上把強尼拉到講臺旁邊問道：“強尼，我認爲你在這次考試中作弊了。”
強尼非常驚訝，要求約翰遜先生拿出證據。“好的，”約翰遜先生說，“我看到你的試卷上有這樣一個問題：‘我們的第一任總統是誰?’緊挨着你的那個名叫瑪麗的女孩寫的是‘喬治·華盛頓’，你寫的也是這個答案。”
“當然，每個人都知道他是我們的第一任總統。”
“噢，等一下，”約翰遜先生說，“下一個問題是：‘誰解放了黑奴?’瑪麗的答案是‘亞伯拉罕·林肯’，你的答案也是一樣。”
“噢，我昨天晚上看了歷史書，我記得。”強尼說。
“等等，等等，”約翰遜先生說，“下一個問題是：‘誰在路易斯安娜大收購時期當了總統?’瑪麗寫的是‘我不知道’，而你寫的則是：‘我也不知道’。”
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