英語爆笑笑話5篇帶翻譯超搞笑的
下面是本站小編整理的英語爆笑笑話5篇，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語爆笑笑話一：Hospitality
好客
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie
without any cheese.
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裏沒有奶酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned
with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.
這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿着一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子裏。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must
have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"
客人微笑着把奶酪放進嘴裏說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裏找到的奶酪?”
"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
“在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
英語爆笑笑話二：太黑了，看不見
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚飯後，父親和母親都忙着和客人玩麻將，這時母親忽然想起點兒事來，便對正在看電視的兒子說道：“寶貝，去看看廚房裏的燈是不是還開着呢?” 過了一會兒，兒子回來說：“媽，廚房裏太黑了，我根本就看不見。”
英語爆笑笑話三：One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(嚴格地，嚴厲地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(勸告，建議) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(膽小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一個真正的男子漢
古代有一個國王，他想證明他領土內的男人並非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國裏所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個男人膽敢不說實話，就會受到嚴厲的懲罰。
然後，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的左側。所有的男人都站到了左側，只有一個小個子男人站到了右側。
國王說：看到我們國家裏還有一個真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，爲什麼在他們當中只有你一個人站在大廳的右側。
陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因爲在我出門之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。
英語爆笑笑話四：萬能的聖誕老人並非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
一個女孩爬到聖誕老人的膝蓋上，聖誕老人例行公事的問：“今年聖誕節你想要什麼呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛驚訝的望着聖誕老人一分鐘都沒講話，然後喘着氣說到：“你沒收到我的電子郵件嗎?(我想要什麼都寫上面了，萬能的聖誕老人咋能不知道捏)”
英語爆笑笑話五：Psychiatrist 精神病醫生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在牀下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“爲什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把牀腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”
