千萬別讓這四個壞習慣毀了你的談話
爲什麼他沒有再聯繫我？爲什麼我的笑話她沒有笑？爲什麼他們不想繼續說下去了？你有沒有過那種感覺，或許是你做的或說的某個事破壞了你的談話（甚至使你們的關係惡化！？）。你也許沒有朋友或機器能夠給你提供建議，但有一些非常普遍存在的錯誤你應該要注意到。通過一些自我反思和自我認識，至少可以確保你不再對你們這間的交流或是關係造成破壞。
Let's look more closely at four of the bad habits:
讓我們再仔細看看這四個壞習慣：
1. Are You a Parrot?
Do you find yourself just paraphrasing or repeating what the other person said? If they say, “that was a cool movie!” do you say, “Yeah, that was a really cool movie!”? Parrots act like they are having a conversation, but in reality, they rarely actually offer anything substantive. Parrots rely on echoing and paraphrasing others.
Suggestion: If you find yourself just echoing what they are saying, try to offer substantive opinions or observations as well.
你是隻鸚鵡嗎？
你有沒有發現自己只是解釋或重複其他人說過的話？如果他們說，“這真是部很棒的電影啊！”你是不是說，“是的，它“確實”是部很棒的電影！”？鸚鵡看起來像是會說話，但事實上，他們很少真正的說過什麼實質性的話。鸚鵡靠的是效仿和重複別人的話。
建議：如果你發現自己只是在重複他們說的，那麼試着去表達些實質性的意見，也可以是相反的觀點。
2. Are You an Energy Vampire?
You may have fascinating stories and opinions to share, but if your energy cannot support the comments, people may find you hard to listen to. Lacking energy or emotion when you talk can ruin your conversation faster than almost any other bad habit. Good conversation is alive; good conversation flows with energy between the conversationalists. If you are not adding to the flow of energy, then you are probably subtracting from it.
Suggestions: Think of your voice as a roller coaster ride for your listeners. Are you creating a flat, boring ride? Try to make your roller coaster ride enjoyable for your particular audience; add some vocal drops, some inclines, and vary your speed. Vary your inflections and emphasize key words as well.
Also, record your voice in private. In fact, re-read this section in your normal voice and play it back. If you have never recorded yourself before, you'll be surprised by what you hear!
你是一隻活力吸血鬼嗎？
你也許熱衷於分享故事和觀點，但是，如果你沒有支撐整個談話的活力，人們會覺得很難再聽你講下去。談話時缺少活力和感情會比其它壞習慣更快的毀了你們的談話。好的交流是生動的；談話者之間充滿了活力。如果你不能不斷加強這些活力，那麼活力很可以會慢慢流失。
建議：把你的聲音想象成是在讓你的聽衆乘坐一趟過山車。你是否正在形成一次單調，無聊的旅程？試着爲你這些特別的觀衆創造一次愉快的過山車旅程；增加一些語調的升降，變化語速。也可以改變聲調強調關鍵詞。
同時，私下裏錄下自己的聲音。用你正常的聲音再讀一次這部分然後重播。如果你以前從沒有錄過自己的聲音，所聽到的將會讓你大吃一驚！
3. Are You a Predictable Talker?
The Predictable Talker lives in the serious and literal world. If they get up to use the restroom, and you ask them where they are going, they will always respond, "to the restroom." Everything they say is predictable; they'll never surprise you with something unexpected. In contrast, a Playful Talker may respond to that question with a number of unpredictable playful responses. For example, "I thought I'd leave you with the bill," or "I'm going to pickup that girl,
"or "I'm trying to escape." The best conversation is playful and unpredictable; Predictable Talkers have trouble playing!
Suggestion: Train your mind to start considering the unexpected responses. Next time someone asks you a question or makes a comment, mentally think about what response would be unexpected or unpredictable (within reason!). Once in a while, try one of these unexpected comments and see how you do. You may surprise yourself.
你是一個沒有想象力的談話者嗎？
沒有想象力的談話者生活在一個嚴肅乏味的世界時。如果他們要去餐館的時候，你問他們要去哪兒，他們都會回答“去餐館”。他們說的所有事情都是可以想得到的；他們決不會說出一些預料以外的話使你驚訝。相反的，一個有幽默感的人會用一連串想不到的有意思的話來回答問題。例如，“我想我就要和錢離開你了......”或是“我要去認識那個女孩。”，或是“我正要逃跑。”最好的談話就是要有趣而且讓人想不到；沒有想象力的談話者將會碰到麻煩！
建議：訓練你的思維，從考慮讓人想不到的回答開始。下次如果有人問你問題或是討論的時候，在心裏想想什麼樣的回答是讓人沒想到的或是猜不着的（當然是合理的！）。偶樂試試說些讓人意想不到的話，看看自己表現如果。你會讓自己吃驚的。
4. Are You a Conversation Narcissist?
Conversation Narcissists love nothing more than to talk about themselves. The only reason they ask the other person a question like, “How was your weekend?” is so they can circle it back around to them again, “that’s nice…let me tell you about what happened to me…” They rarely inquire seriously about the other person or ask follow up questions.
Suggestion: This is easy to fix, be genuinely interested in the other person. When someone tells you something, keep the focus on them, ask follow up questions, recall previous comments the person said, etc.
你是一個以自我爲中心的談話者嗎？
以自我爲中心的談話者只喜歡說自己的事。他們問別人問題的唯一原因，如“你週末過得怎麼樣？”，只是因此可以轉個彎回來說自己的事。“這可真不錯呀……讓我告訴你我遇到什麼事了……”他們很少認真的詢問別人，或繼續剛纔的問題。
建議：這很容易解決，就是要真正的對其他人感興趣。如果有人告訴你一些事情，持續關注它，問些關於它們的問題，想想剛纔這個人所說的話等等。
