戒掉這13種壞習慣你將更幸福

It’s no secret that we’re obsessed with happiness. After all, the “pursuit of happiness” is even enshrined in the Declaration of Independence. But happiness is fleeting. How can we find it and keep it alive?
顯然我們都對幸福着迷，畢竟“追求幸福”甚至被獨立宣言奉爲神聖。但是幸福轉瞬即逝，我們如何能找到幸福並且讓它持續下去呢？

Psychologists at the University of California have discovered some fascinating things about happiness that could change your life.
加利福尼亞大學的心理學家發現一些關於幸福的有趣事情，它能改變你的生活。

Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a psychology professor at the Riverside campus who is known among her peers as “the queen of happiness.” She began studying happiness as a grad student and never stopped, devoting her career to the subject.
桑雅·呂波密斯基博士是河濱校區的心理學教授，她以“幸福王后”在同行中著稱。她從研究生開始研究幸福，並且一直沒有停止，把她的事業奉獻給了這個學科。

One of her main discoveries is that we all have a happiness “set point.” When extremely positive or negative events happen -- such as buying a bigger house or losing a job -- they temporarily increase or decrease our happiness, but we eventually drift back to our set point.
她的一個主要發現是我們都有一個幸福“設定值”。當極度積極或極度消極的事情發生時，比如買一所大房子或丟掉一份工作，他們會暫時地增長或降低我們的幸福值，但最終將回到我們的設定值。

The breakthrough in Dr. Lyubomirsky’s research is that you can make yourself happier -- permanently. Lyubomirsky and others have found that our genetic set point is responsible for only about 50 percent of our happiness, life circumstances affect about 10 percent, and a whopping 40 percent is completely up to us.
呂波密斯基教授的研究取得了突破性進展：你可以讓自己更幸福——永久地。呂波密斯基和其他人發現我們與生俱來的設定值大概只佔幸福的50%，生活環境佔10%，還有很大的40%完全取決於我們自己。

The large portion of your happiness that you control is determined by your habits, attitude, and outlook on life.
決定你幸福的很大一部分取決於你的習慣、態度以及人生觀。

Even when you accomplish something great, that high won’t last. It won’t make you happy on its own; you have to work to make and keep yourself happy.
即使你完成了一些了不起的事，興奮的感覺不會很持久。事情的本身並不會讓你感到幸福，你必須努力讓自己保持幸福。

Your happiness, or lack thereof, is rooted in your habits. Permanently adopting new habits -- especially those that involve intangibles, such as how you see the world -- is hard, but breaking the habits that make you unhappy is much easier.
你的幸福，或是缺乏幸福，都是由你的習慣決定的。長期採用新習慣——尤其是那些包含無形資產的習慣，比如你如何看待這個世界——是很困難的，但打破讓你不幸福的習慣會更容易一些。

There are numerous bad habits that tend to make us unhappy. Eradicating these bad habits can move your happiness set point in short order.
下面是容易讓我們不幸福的一些壞習慣。消除這些壞習慣能快速移動你的幸福設定值。

1. Immunity to awe.
1. 對敬畏免疫

Amazing things happen around you every day if you only know where to look. Technology has exposed us to so much and made the world so much smaller. Yet, there’s a downside that isn’t spoken of much: exposure raises the bar on what it takes to be awestricken. And that’s a shame, because few things are as uplifting as experiencing true awe. True awe is humbling. It reminds us that we’re not the center of the universe. Awe is also inspiring and full of wonder, underscoring the richness of life and our ability to both contribute to it and be captivated by it. It’s hard to be happy when you just shrug your shoulders every time you see something new.
如果你知道在哪裏看，神奇的事情每天都會在你身邊發生。科技給我們曝光了太多，也讓這個世界變得更小。然而，它也有不爲人知的壞的一面：曝光提高了需要人們肅然起敬的標準。這是一個恥辱，因爲當經歷真正的敬畏時，越來越少的事情會讓人感覺振奮。真正的敬畏是恥辱，它提醒我們自己不是宇宙的中心。敬畏也鼓舞人心、充滿奇蹟，強調生活的豐富以及我們對於做貢獻和被吸引的能力。如果你每次看到新鮮的東西就聳肩，這將很難讓你感到幸福。

2. Isolating yourself.
2. 孤立自己

Isolating yourself from social contact is a pretty common response to feeling unhappy, but there’s a large body of research that says it’s the worst thing you can do. This is a huge mistake, as socializing, even when you don’t enjoy it, is great for your mood. We all have those days when we just want to pull the covers over our heads and refuse to talk to anybody, but the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood. Recognize that when unhappiness is making you antisocial, you need to force yourself to get out there and mingle. You’ll notice the difference right away.
從社交中把自己孤立是感到不幸福的常見反應，但有許多研究表明這是你最不應該做的事。這是一個社交中的很大錯誤，即使你不喜歡，它對你的情緒也是有好處的。我們都經歷過那些日子，只想把被子蒙在頭上，不跟任何人說話。但當這變成了一種趨勢，他將會毀了你的情緒。當不幸福讓你反對社交時，你應該強迫自己走出去，和別人交流。你會很快注意到其中的差異。

3. Blaming.
3. 責備

We need to feel in control of our lives in order to be happy, which is why blaming is so incompatible with happiness. When you blame other people or circumstances for the bad things that happen to you, you’ve decided that you have no control over your life, which is terrible for your mood.
爲了快樂，我們需要對生活有掌控權，這也就是爲什麼責備和幸福之間彼此不相容。當你因爲壞事發生在自己身上而責備別人或是環境時，就決定了你對生活沒有掌控權，這對你的情緒是很糟糕的。

4. Controlling.
4. 控制

It’s hard to be happy without feeling in control of your life, but you can take this too far in the other direction by making yourself unhappy through trying to control too much. This is especially true with people. The only person you can control in your life is you. When you feel that nagging desire to dictate other people’s behavior, this will inevitably blow up in your face and make you unhappy. Even if you can control someone in the short term, it usually requires pressure in the form of force or fear, and treating people this way won’t leave you feeling good about yourself.
對生活沒有掌控是很難快樂的，但過猶不及，你也可能因爲掌控太多而讓自己不快樂。這對於人們來說尤爲正確。你生命中唯一能控制的人就是自己。當你感到揮之不去的慾望指示了別人的行爲，這將不可避免地表現在你臉上，並讓你感到不高興。即使你能階段性地控制別人，通常需要武力或是恐懼的壓力。以這種方式對待別人不會讓你對自己感覺良好。

5. Criticizing.
5. 批判

Judging other people and speaking poorly of them is a lot like overindulging in a decadent dessert; it feels good while you’re doing it, but afterwards, you feel guilty and sick. Sociopaths find real pleasure in being mean. For the rest of us, criticizing other people (even privately or to ourselves) is just a bad habit that’s intended to make us feel better about ourselves. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. It just creates a spiral of negativity.
評判別人或是說別人的壞話就像是沉溺於過期的甜品，當你在做的時候感覺很好，但隨後你就會感到內疚和厭惡。反社會者會在刻薄中感到真正的快樂。但對於我們剩餘的人來說，批判別人（即使是私底下或者我們自己說）是一種壞習慣，會讓我們自我感覺良好。不幸的是，事實並不是這樣。它只是製造了一個消極的漩渦。

6. Complaining.
6. 抱怨

Complaining is troubling, as well as the attitude that precedes it. Complaining is a self-reinforcing behavior. By constantly talking -- and therefore thinking -- about how bad things are, you reaffirm your negative beliefs. While talking about what bothers you can help you feel better, there’s a fine line between complaining being therapeutic and it fueling unhappiness. Beyond making you unhappy, complaining drives other people away.
和前面的幾種態度一樣，抱怨讓人煩惱。抱怨是一種自我強化的表現，通過不停地說和想事情有多麼的壞，你重申了自己的消極信念。談論困擾你的事情可以讓你感覺好一些，這和抱怨被治療有微妙的區別，後者助長了不快樂。除了讓你不開心，抱怨也會讓其他人遠離你。

7. Impressing.
7. 給人留下好印象

People will like your clothes, your car, and your fancy job, but that doesn’t mean they like you. Trying to impress other people is a source of unhappiness, because it doesn’t get to the source of what makes you happy -- finding people who like you and accept you for who you are. All the things you acquire in the quest to impress people won’t make you happy either. There’s an ocean of research that shows that material things don’t make you happy. When you make a habit of chasing things, you are likely to become unhappy because, beyond the disappointment you experience once you get them, you discover that you’ve gained them at the expense of the real things that can make you happy, such as friends, family, and taking good care of yourself.
人們會喜歡你的衣服、你的汽車、你的高檔工作，但這並不是說他們喜歡你。試圖給他人留下深刻印象是苦惱的根源，因爲找到喜歡你的人並且接受真實的你，這並不是你得到快樂的源泉。爲了給別人留下好印象而讓你獲得的東西都不會讓你真正的快樂。相當多的研究表明物質的東西並不會讓你感到快樂。當你養成追求物質的習慣，你就容易變得不開心，因爲除了你經歷過的失望，你發現獲得它們的代價是真正能讓你快樂的東西，比如朋友、家人以及好好照顧自己。

8. Negativity.
8. 消極

Life won’t always go the way you want it to, but when it comes down to it, you have the same 24 hours in the day as everyone else. Happy people make their time count. Instead of complaining about how things could have been or should have been, they reflect on everything they have to be grateful for. Then they find the best solution available to the problem, tackle it, and move on. Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. The problem with a pessimistic attitude, apart from the damage it does to your mood, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect bad things, you’re more likely to get bad things. Pessimistic thoughts are hard to shake off until you recognize how illogical they are. Force yourself to look at the facts, and you’ll see that things are not nearly as bad as they seem.
生活並不會盡如人意，當不如意時，你和別人一樣每天都有24小時。快樂的人讓他們的時間變得有價值。他們思考讓自己心存感激的事，而不是抱怨事情爲什麼會這樣以及應該是什麼樣。他們找到問題的最佳解決方法，處理它，然後繼續前進。沒有什麼像悲觀那樣助長不快樂。用悲觀的態度處理問題，除了破壞你的情緒，還成爲了一個自我應驗的預言：如果你期待不好的事，那不好的事很有可能發生。悲觀的想法很難擺脫，直到你意識到它們有多不合邏輯。強迫自己看清現實，你會發現事情並不像看起來那麼遭。

9. Hanging around negative people.
9. 和消極的人在一起無所事事

Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spirals. You can avoid getting drawn in only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: If a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with negative people. A great way to set limits is to ask them how they intend to fix their problems. The complainer will then either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.
抱怨的人和消極的人是很令人討厭的，因爲他們沉迷於自己的問題中而不去尋求解決辦法。他們希望人們加入到他們的同情聚會中，這樣他們能感覺好一些。人們往往對聽抱怨者說話感到壓力很大，因爲他們不想讓人覺得自己很麻木或是很粗魯，但借出同情之耳和捲入消極情緒漩渦之間是有微妙差別的。只有設定界限以及必要時讓自己遠離，才能避免陷入其中。不妨這樣想：如果一個人在抽菸，你會一下午坐在那吸二手菸嗎？你會遠離他，同樣的對消極的人你也應該這樣做。設定界限最好的方法是問他們是否願意解決自己的問題。抱怨者要麼安靜下來，要麼抱着解決問題的想法重新開始這段談話。

You should strive to surround yourself with people who inspire you, people who make you want to be better, and you probably do. But what about the people who drag you down? Why do you allow them to be a part of your life? Anyone who makes you feel worthless, anxious, or uninspired is wasting your time and, quite possibly, making you more like them. Life is too short to associate with people like this. Cut them loose.
你應該努力讓能激勵的人圍在你身邊，那些人讓你願意變得更好，而你可能真的會變得更好。但拖累你的那些人呢？你爲什麼讓他們成爲你生活的一部分？任何讓你感到沒有價值的、焦慮的、不受鼓舞的人都是在浪費你的時間，也很有可能讓你變得更像他們。生命太短暫，不要和這樣的人交往，遠離他們吧。

10. Comparing your own life to the lives people portray on social media.
10. 把自己的生活和別人在社交媒體上的生活比較

The Happiness Research Institute conducted the Facebook Experiment to find out how our social media habits affect our happiness. Half of the study’s participants kept using Facebook as they normally would, while the other half stayed off Facebook for a week. The results were striking. At the end of the week, the participants who stayed off Facebook reported a significantly higher degree of satisfaction with their lives and lower levels of sadness and loneliness. The researchers also concluded that people on Facebook were 55% more likely to feel stress as a result.
管理Facebook實驗的幸福研究所發現了社交媒體如何影響我們的幸福感。一半的研究參與者和往常一樣繼續使用Facebook，另一半人停止使用Facebook一週。研究結果不同尋常。在這一週結束時，離開Facebook一週的參與者對他們的生活更滿意、更少地感覺到悲傷和孤獨。研究人員同樣發現，一直使用Facebook的人有55%感覺到壓力。

The thing to remember about Facebook and social media in general is that they rarely represent reality. Social media provides an airbrushed, color-enhanced look at the lives people want to portray. I’m not suggesting that you give up social media; just take it sparingly and with a grain of salt.
關於Facebook和社交媒體，要知道它們通常很少反應現實。社交媒體把人們展示的生活加以粉飾和襯托。我不是建議你再也不用社交媒體，只是提醒你要有保留地看待它。

11. Neglecting to set goals.
11. 疏於制定目標

Having goals gives you hope and the ability to look forward to a better future, and working towards those goals makes you feel good about yourself and your abilities. It’s important to set goals that are challenging, specific (and measurable), and driven by your personal values. Without goals, instead of learning and improving yourself, you just plod along wondering why things never change.
有目標會給你希望，讓你期待一個更好的未來，朝着目標努力會讓你對自己和自己的能力感到滿意。設置有挑戰性的、具體的（可衡量的）、反應你個人價值觀的目標是非常重要的。沒有了目標，你只想知道事情爲什麼一成不變，而不是學習和提升自己。

12. Giving in to fear.
12. 屈服於恐懼

Fear is nothing more than a lingering emotion that’s fueled by your er is real. It’s the uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice. Happy people know this better than anyone does, so they flip fear on its head. They are addicted to the euphoric feeling they get from conquering their fears.
恐懼不過是想象力產生的一種揮之不去的情感。危險是真實的。當你差點被公交車撞到時，腎上腺素會飆升。恐懼則是一種選擇。幸福的人比任何人都知道這一點，所以他們克服恐懼。他們沉迷於克服恐懼的愉快情緒中。

When all is said and done, you will lament the chances you didn’t take far more than you will your failures. Don’t be afraid to take risks. I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet, death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you. The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.
歸根結底，你對沒有把握機會的懊悔遠遠大於失敗。別害怕冒險。我總聽到人們說，“最壞的事情是什麼？能殺了你嗎？”然而，死亡並不是最壞的事。最壞的事是你依然活着，卻讓自己的內心死去了。

13. Leaving the present.
13. 脫離現在

Like fear, the past and the future are products of your mind. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. Happy people know this, so they focus on living in the present moment. It’s impossible to reach your full potential if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of the very moment. To live in the moment, you must do two things:
像恐懼一樣，過去和未來都是你思想的產物。再多的愧疚都改變不了過去，再多的焦慮也改變不了未來。幸福的人知道這一點，所以他們着眼於生活在當下。如果你經常脫離現實，那麼你的潛能不太可能全部被髮掘，也就無法完全接受這一刻的現實（好的或是壞的）。生活在當下，你必須做到這兩件事：

1) Accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and it will create your future. Happy people know that the only good reason to look at the past is to see how far you’ve come.
1）接受你的過去。如果你沒有和你的過去講和，它將永遠不會離開你並且會製造你的未來。幸福的人知道回頭看過去的唯一理由是，看看自己已經走了多遠。

2) Accept the uncertainty of the future, and don’t place unnecessary expectations upon yourself. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”
2）接受不確定的未來，不要把不必要的期望放在自己身上。現在沒有必要擔心，就像馬克·吐溫曾經說的，“擔心就像是支付並不存在的債務。”

Bringing It All Together
綜上所述

We can’t control our genes, and we can’t control all of our circumstances, but we can rid ourselves of habits that serve no purpose other than to make us miserable.
我們不能控制自己的基因，也不能控制所有的外在環境，但我們可以擺脫那些沒有任何作用、只會讓我們痛苦的壞習慣。