用英語説的笑話
在民間文學的各種體裁中 ,民間笑話的材料很多 ,也是時下最為流行的民間敍事類型。下面是本站小編帶來的用英語説的冷笑話，歡迎閲讀!
Guaranteed visits 有保證的探望
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.
布魯克林的一位年邁的婦女決定準備自己的遺囑，提出最後的要求。她告訴自己的猶太教士説她有兩個臨終前的要求。第一，她要火化;第二，她要把骨灰撒到布魯明黛。
"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"
“布魯明黛!”教士叫道，“為什麼在布魯明黛?”
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
“那樣的話我女兒肯定一週會探望我兩次。”
Note:
布魯明黛(Bloomingdale's)是一家連鎖百貨公司，與梅西百貨同屬聯邦百貨公司旗下。布魯明黛在美國有超過36家分店。
用英語説的冷笑話篇二Calming your son 讓你兒子靜下來
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
一個人在超市裏推着購物車，一個小孩子在車裏不停的大吵大叫。推車的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”別激動，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying tosoothe your son, Albert."
站在他旁邊的一位女士對他説道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
男人看着那位女士説：“太太，我是阿爾伯特。
用英語説的冷笑話篇三All-purpose Dissolvent(萬能溶劑)
A young man saw Edison, said : “I wanna(=want to ) develop a sort of all-purpose dissolvent, by which can dissolve(溶解) all materials.” Edison asked a question in reply : “ In that case, what container shall you hold it with?”
一個後生找到愛迪生，説：“我準備研製一種萬能溶劑，它能溶解一切物質。”愛迪生反問：“那你用什麼來盛它呢?”
用英語説的冷笑話篇四Automobile Fittings(汽車配件)
A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy theauto accessories (配件,幫兇) in the neighborhood ?"
Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car on the road e is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough(峽谷，深谷) just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."
一個卡車司機向一山民打聽：“請問，這附近哪兒能買到汽車配件?”
山民説：“這條路上經常有人開英雄車，前面不遠處是個急轉彎，急轉彎的下面就是深谷，那深谷裏什麼樣的汽車配件都有——根本用不着花錢。”
用英語説的冷笑話篇五
At Auction Fair (拍賣會上)
At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document. The owner says:" Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate (re`munerate與reward近意：酬勞，酬報 ) him or her." On hearing the news ,another chap shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."
拍賣會上，有人的包丟了，裏面裝有重要文件。物主説：“有誰揀到送還，我將拿出200美元以表酬謝。”話剛出口，就聽有人喊：“我出300美元。”
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