15個高情商表現，教你如何成爲辦公室達人！
Emotional intelligence is a choice and a discipline, not an innate quality bestowed upon the lucky. Find out if you have what it takes in this critical skill.
情商是一種選擇，是一種自律行爲，而不是天生憑運氣饋贈得來的一種品質。一起來看看你有沒有這樣的核心能力。
When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: People with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70 percent of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.
當情商首次進入大衆視野時，它被視作一項奇特發現中缺失的一環。70%的時間裏，擁有平均智商的人羣比高智商人羣表現得更加出色。這一結論顛覆性地扭轉了大衆原本的假設：智商是成功的唯一因素。
Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90 percent of top performers have high emotional intelligence.
數十年的研究指出，情商可以作爲區分成功人士和普通人羣的關鍵指標。這一關係非常顯著，90%的成功人士都擁有高情商。
Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.
情商對於我們來說是一種存在於個體內的無形之物。它對我們如何管理行爲、處理社交、自我驅動實現積極結果都產生了影響。
Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.
除了情商的重要作用外，它無形的本質使之很難判斷高低，也很難知道如何去提高。你可以進行科學有效的情商測試，比如用情商2.0這本書。
Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analyzed the data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.
不幸的是，情商測試（科學有效）通常不是免費的。所以我分析了來自TalentSmart對數百萬人的測試數據，以此確定高情商的特徵。以下表現可以明確體現出你的高情商。
1. You Have a Robust Emotional Vocabulary.
1.你擁有豐富的情感詞彙
All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36 percent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.
所有人都會有感情，但只有少部分人能夠準確地描述出自己的感受。我們的研究發現只有36%的人可以做到這一點，這可能反映出一個問題：未被定義的情感很容易被誤解，從而導致荒謬的選擇和未能達成預期的行動。
People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.
擁有高情商的人們可以管控情緒，因爲他們能夠理解，並且能夠使用豐富的詞彙來形容。許多人可能只會用“不好”來簡單形容感受，而高情商人羣會指出他們是急躁、失意、壓抑或焦慮。你選擇的詞彙越精準，越能夠明白你的真實感受、產生的原因和如何處理。
2. You’re Curious About People.
2.你對別人有好奇心
It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.
不管對方是內向和外向的人，高情商的人都能夠對周圍的人產生。這種好奇心是移情作用的產物——這是高情商的最重要門檻之一。你越關心他人和他們的狀況，你對他們越有好奇心。
3. You Embrace Change.
3.你擁抱改變
Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.
高情商人羣靈活、適應能力強。他們深知，對改變的恐懼會麻痹自己，是對成功和快樂的最大威脅。他們尋找隱藏在轉角的變化，併爲可能發生的改變制定行動計劃。
4. You Know Your Strengths And Weaknesses.
4.瞭解自己的優缺點
Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.
高情商人羣不僅理解自己的感情，他們還知道他們擅長什麼和不擅長什麼。他們也知道誰或什麼樣的環境（人和事）能夠促使自己成功。擁有高情商意味着你知道你的長處，知道如何依靠長處充分發揮，做到揚長避短。
5. You’re A Good Judge Of Character.
5.你對性格特徵善於識別
Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness: the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.
高情商最終體現在社交敏感度，即識人的能力。久而久之，這種技能讓你成爲一位識人高手。任何人對你而言都不再是個謎題。你能夠識破別人的行爲和動機，甚至那些隱藏在表面之下的謊言。
6. You Are Difficult To Offend.
6.你不易冒犯
If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you, because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.
如果你堅持自我，別人很難通過語言或行動來惹怒你。高情商人羣充滿自信，開放包容，以此練就了厚臉皮。你甚至不介意自嘲或者被他人開玩笑，因爲你能夠清楚區分幽默和諷刺。
7. You Let Go of Mistakes.
7.放下錯誤
Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.
高情商人羣能夠放下過失，但不會遺忘它。將錯誤保持在安全範圍內，在需要參考的時候隨時可得。他們可以針對將來的成功進行調整和適應。太過拘泥於你的錯誤會使你變得焦慮和恐懼，而徹底遺忘錯誤則可能重蹈覆轍。
8. You Don’t Hold Grudges.
8.放下仇恨
The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.
記恨的負面情緒實際上是一種應激反應的表現。試着想想那些讓你的身體處於急性應激反應的事件，一項讓你起身戰鬥的生存機制或是被迫衝上山頂的威脅。當這種威脅是迫在眉睫的，你的反應關於生死；但如果這種威脅是歷史遺留問題，緊抓不放會給你的身體帶來毀滅性的影響。事實上，Emory大學的研究學者發現高壓會帶來高血壓和心臟疾病。緊緊抓住仇怨意味着你緊緊抓住壓力，然而高情商的人們知道如何儘自己所能避免。放下哀怨不僅讓你感覺良好還會有助健康。
9. You Neutralize Toxic People.
9. 中和負面情緒的人羣
Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.
很多情況下與難相處的人打交道確實會讓自己身心疲憊。高情商人羣能夠控制自己不與負面情緒的人羣接觸。但當他們與這些人接觸時，他們就會理性地應對。他們能夠清楚自己的情緒並控制怒氣避免火上澆油。他們同時也會考慮難相處的人的立場並能夠找到折衷的解決方案。即使事情完全失控，高情商的人都能夠對麻煩的人有所保留，以此防止對方讓事情變得更糟糕。
10. You Don’t Seek Perfection.
10. 捨棄對完美的追求
Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.
高情商人羣不會把完美作爲自己的最終目標，因爲他們很清楚完美是根本不可能的。人，因最原始的本質，都是會犯錯的。如果你把完美計劃作爲自己的目標，你就會永遠挑剔，這會讓你想放棄或減少付出。不應該把時間花在爲過去的失利慟哭、爲該做而沒做的事情後悔、爲實現的成就或即將實現的成就而高興。
11. You Disconnect.
11.適當與外界斷聯。
Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an e-mail break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an e-mail that will change your train of thought and get you thinking (read: stressing) about work can drop onto your phone at any moment.
能夠將時間進行分隔處理是高情商的表現，因爲這能夠幫助你控制壓力並感受生活。當你每週每天都隨時待命，你就讓自己處於一個不斷接受壓力影響的環境中。迫使自己斷絕聯繫，甚至——啪！關上手機，給自己的身心一個休息的機會。研究發現一件簡單的小事情，比如發一封郵件的時間都可以幫助你減輕壓力。科技讓人們之間的聯繫和期待維持隨時待命的狀態，這樣就很難讓人享受到工作以外的無壓力的時間，因爲一封郵件就能控制你的思考，也讓你隨時都離不開手機。
12. You Limit Your Caffeine Intake.
12.控制咖啡因的攝取
Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt e-mail. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.
攝取過量的咖啡因會促進腎上腺素的分泌，而腎上腺素就是讓人攻擊或逃避反應的激素來源。攻擊-逃避機制避開理性思考，而追求更快的反應以確保生存。在你被一隻黑熊追逐的時候是很有效的，但是被簡單而粗暴的郵件追逐的時候，情況就不一樣了。當咖啡因促使你的頭腦和身體進入一個高度興奮的壓力狀態時，你的情緒就會大大超越你的行爲。咖啡因的長時效性讓你持續情緒高漲，久久無法平靜。高情商的人瞭解咖啡因會帶來麻煩，而不讓自己去接觸它。
13. You Get Enough Sleep.
13.保持充足的睡眠
It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.
實際上很難通過語言去誇大睡眠對提高情商和控制壓力的重要性。當你進入睡眠狀態，你的大腦再次充電，充斥着白天的記憶，並把它們存儲或投射出來（即夢的來源），因此當你起牀時會頭腦清醒。高情商的人知道如果沒有足夠的睡眠，自控力、專注力和注意力都會降低。所以，他們把睡眠當作自己的首要事情。
14. You Stop Negative Self-Talk in Its Tracks.
14.停止自我否定
The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.
你越反思負面的想法，你就越消極。大多數的負面想法都僅僅是想法而已，並不是事實。當你感覺到某些事情總是發生或從不發生，這僅僅是因爲你的大腦主動接受威脅的自然趨勢（誇大事情的頻率和嚴重程度）。高情商人羣能夠把想法和事實分離開來，以此擺脫負面的惡性循環，走向積極全新的觀點。
15. You Won’t Let Anyone Limit Your Joy.
15.不讓他人影響自己的樂趣
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.
當你的愉快和滿足感被他人的觀點影響了，你就不再能夠感受樂趣了。高情商的人對自己所做的事情感覺良好，他們不會受別人的觀點或暗諷影響。當你無法脫離別人對你的看法時，你也不必與他們比較，就可以遠離他人的評頭論足。因此，無論別人說了什麼或做了什麼，你的自我價值都只來源於自己的內心。
Bringing It All Together:
總結：
Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, it builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. As your brain reinforces the use of these new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors die off. Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it.
不同於智商，你的情商可以被有效塑造。如果你不斷練習新的高情商行爲，自然會轉換成習慣。當你的大腦不斷加固這些新的習慣，那些支持舊有的壞行爲就會先後消失。不久之後，你會不假思索地對周圍的環境做出高情商的迴應。
