上網做這些事會有損你們的感情
Social media has changed the way we navigate Relationships-the one you're in now and those in the past. That's not necessarily a good thing. "Not only do you have the ability to interact with your exes, but you can also look up your partner's ex and find pictures or videos of them when they were dating," says Kevin Gilliland, PsyD, a Dallas-based psychologist and executive director of the counseling service Innovation360.
社交媒體改變了我們談戀愛的方式--現任和前任。但這並不一定是件好事。"你不僅可以與前任互動，而且還可以查看現任的前任，找到他們以前約會時的照片或視頻，"達拉斯的心理學家、Innovation360諮詢服務的執行董事凱文·吉利蘭心理學博士說道。Yet there's so much gray area surrounding acceptable online activity. Is reaching out to a past love on email considered emotional cheating? Is replying to a text that they sent crossing the line? What about reading DMs that pop up on your partner's phone when they're not looking-who can resist that?
但關於可接受的在線行爲這一方面，存在太多的灰色領域。用電子郵件聯繫前任是不是精神出軌？回覆他們發給你的短信算不算越界？另一半不注意的時候，看他們手機上跳出來的提示信息又屬於何種行爲--誰能抵擋這種誘惑呢？"If we asked a dozen couples to define emotional cheating, we'd probably get a dozen different answers," says Gilliland. "Couples have to define the term together, whatever that means to them." That said, there are some social media moves that are definite no-nos thanks to their potential to mess up your current relationship. Below, Gilliland outlines online moves that should be off limits.
"如果請十幾對情侶給精神出軌定義，那我們很有可能得到十幾個不同的答案，"吉利蘭說道。"情侶需要一起定義這個術語，無論這對於他們來說意味着什麼。"也就是說，有些社交媒體行爲是絕對不能被接受的，因爲這些舉動可能會搞砸你現在的戀情。吉利蘭概括了應該禁止的網絡行爲，如下：
Regularly checking an ex's profile
不斷查看前任的個人資料It sounds harmless enough; you're just curious about what they're doing these days, right? Don't do it. Visiting an ex's Facebook or Instagram profile on the regular often has bigger implications. "You need to think about the real reason you're still seeking them out," says Gilliland. "It might be sadness or a wondering what if. Either way, reminiscing about past relationships is risky."
這聽起來啥事都沒有，你只是很好奇他們最近在做些什麼，是不？千萬別這麼做。定期查看前任的臉書或Ins有着更深層次的意義。"你需要想想這樣做的真正原因，"吉利蘭說道。"可能是因爲你仍舊很傷心，也可能是因爲你在假設和他/她複合的可能性。無論如何，回憶過去的戀情都是有風險的。"
It's easy to romanticize what you once had if you're facing challenges with your current partner, and by scrolling your ex's social pages, you might forget that every relationship endures normal ups and downs. "Relationships are nonstop problem solving," Gilliland tells Health. "We tend to forget that and idealize other relationships, whether it's our past ones or comparing ourselves to other couples online, and it's one of the worst things we can do."
如果你和現任鬧了點彆扭，那你很有可能浪漫的回想曾經擁有的一切。然後你就會翻前任的社交媒體主頁，也許你會忘記每段戀情都會時好時壞。"談戀愛就是不間斷的解決問題，"吉利蘭對《健康》雜誌說道。"我們傾向於忘卻這一點，幻想其它的戀情，不管是和過去的愛人還是將自己與其他情侶作對比，這是最糟的事情了。"A better move: Unfriend, unfollow, or block accounts you find yourself wondering about. They might be keeping you from fully committing to your current love.
更好的做法：不要加好友、不要關注、或者屏蔽自己還心有所念的社交媒體賬戶。它們可能會阻斷你全心全意的對現任付出。
