想離婚就離婚?先冷靜30天大綱

The Civil Code, the first law defined as a "code" in the People's Republic of China, was passed on May 28. It regards all aspects of our lives.

5月28日，《中華人民共和國民法典》出臺。作爲中國首部以“法典”命名的法律，它與我們彼此的生活息息相關。

It sets a "cooling-off period", requiring couples who file for separation to wait 30 days before their request can be processed. During the month-long period, whoever changes the idea can retract his or her request.

其中，有條款設置了提交離婚登記申請後三十日的“離婚冷靜期”。在此期間，任何一方不願意離婚，都可以向婚姻登記機關撤回離婚登記申請。

It has stirred hot debate online. Some support the move, believing the "cooling-off period" to be a positive thing for furious couples that casually file for divorce after a quarrel, allowing them to avoid creating a trail of regret (the divorce filing is recorded, even if they reunite to marry again later).

一時間，網上熱議沸騰。有人覺得，“離婚冷靜期”的設立，對於那些頭腦發熱、吵個架拌個嘴一怒之下就嚷嚷散夥不過了的夫妻是好事，省得離婚太過草率隨意，也避免給婚姻留下遺憾的痕跡（因爲即使復婚，他們的人生中也留下“離過婚”的紀錄）。

Some internet users, however, disagree and believe it sets a barrier to ending a marriage that is already dead, forcing "victims" in the union to endure unnecessary suffering when they are eager to walk away from an emotional impasse. Additionally, the critics posit that the new requirement will make people reluctant to marry, as it becomes harder to get a divorce.

但也有不少網民對此不滿，認爲這會給走出一段已死的婚姻設置障礙，讓在婚姻中飽受傷害、希望早日獲得重生的人經歷不必要的折磨，更久地受困於僵局。他們擔心離婚變得這麼困難，會讓人更不敢結婚。

But there is one thing which we all have to admit: All marriages are a mystery to outsiders. In China we have an old saying that likens marriage to sipping a mouthful of water — only the drinker knows if the temperature is suitable.

但有一個事實我們難以否認：任何婚姻對於外人，都是看不破的迷霧。而且，中國有句老話：“婚姻如人飲水，冷暖自知”。

For me, the news is reminiscent of the film Marriage Story, starring Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson, which I watched recently.

前不久，我看了亞當·德賴弗和斯嘉麗·約翰遜主演的《婚姻故事》。以至於看到這新聞時，第一反應就是想起了這部電影。

In the film, arguably the best relationship-themed movie this year (taking into consideration that so few new movies have been released due to the pandemic forcing the worldwide closure of cinemas), Driver stars Charlie, a brilliant stage director, and Johansson plays his wife, Nicole, a one-time Los Angeles movie actress who relocates to New York to be with her husband. They have an eight-year-old son.

畢竟，因爲疫情影響，全球影院都面臨不同程度的慘淡歇業。這部片，某種程度來說，也是今年最佳的探討兩性關係的影片。“老司機”德賴弗飾演一個才華橫溢的舞臺劇導演查理，“寡姐” 約翰遜飾演妻子妮可，一個曾經在洛杉磯小有名氣的電影演員。爲了陪伴丈夫，她移居紐約。他們有一個八歲的兒子。

Although they look like a brilliant couple, their marriage has long been full of cracks. Charlie cheated and cares more about himself to "force" them live on his terms. When Nicole gets a well-paid offer, she returns to Los Angeles with their son, and files for divorce in the city. It ensues a grueling "battle" for separation amid the confrontation of their vicious attorneys.

儘管他們看上去是光鮮亮麗的一對，婚姻裏卻早就滿是裂痕。查理出軌，他關心自己的事業遠勝於關心妻子的需求。趁着一份不錯的片約，妮可帶着孩子回到洛杉磯，她提出離婚。雙方律師的兇狠對弈，讓離婚這個過程變得痛苦且滿目瘡痍。

But it's not a movie that makes you pick one side. It's hard to argue who is the one to be blamed. Charlie has his advantages while Nicole has her shortcomings.

但這不是一部讓你選擇站邊的電影。他倆失敗的婚姻，很難爭得清誰對誰錯。查理有他的閃光點，妮可也有自己的問題。

For me, the most surprising part of the story is that it makes me believe in love, despite it being a tale about divorce. The two still love each other, even in the moment that they hire attorneys to respectively strive for their individual benefit in court. They have to get a divorce because they both want to pursue their own dreams that, unfortunately, can't find harmony with their marriage.

對我來說，這個故事最迷人之處，是儘管講述離婚，卻會讓人重新相信愛情。你能看到，他們眼中依舊有對彼此的愛，甚至在他們各自聘請律師，在法庭上爲自己脣槍舌戰爭取利益時也是如此。而他們不得不離婚，只是因爲他們都有着太過獨立的靈魂。他們追求各自的夢想，而這恰恰在他們的婚姻裏難以實現。

As the wait for the final result of their divorce proceedings drags on, they begin to realize the emotional harm they inflicted on each other. The torturous experience, however, finally allows them to find meaning in their marriage and helps them to peacefully move on.

在等待離婚程序最終結果的漫長過程中，他們開始意識到對彼此造成的傷害。然而，這段痛苦的經歷最終讓他們找到了婚姻的意義，並幫助他們各自平靜地開始嶄新人生。

So, I believe the "cooling-off period" may be useful for some couples. Even they still insist on getting the divorce after the 30 days, the month might help them to understand each other better and figure out the best way to achieve a fresh start in their lives.

時光是治癒傷痕的良藥。我也相信，“離婚冷靜期”或許也會對一些人管用。即使三十天後，他們仍堅持離婚，這段時間可能會幫助他們更好地瞭解彼此，並找到最好的方式重新開始各自的人生。