當寵物變得比家人重要時...
By the time Ellen and Joe Lollman reached their first anniversary, things were souring. They no longer took long walks together or spent weekend afternoons chatting over coffee at outdoor cafes. Each evening they holed up in separate rooms of their home reading or watching TV alone.
艾倫(Ellen)和喬•羅爾曼 (Joe Lollman)結婚一年後，生活開始變了味。他們不再長時間一起散步，週末也不會一起在室外咖啡館裏閒談一個下午。每天晚上，他們各自關在房間裏一個人讀書或看電視。
Finally, fearful their marriage was on the rocks, the Dallas couple made an appointment with a therapist -- for their dogs.
最後由於擔心他們的婚姻會觸礁，這一對美國達拉斯夫婦與治療師約定了時間──卻是爲他們的狗。
'We both had dogs a lot longer than we had each other,' explains Ms. Lollman. Yet it wasn't until she and her new husband moved in together after a long-distance courtship that their faithful companions actually met and, as luck had it, decided they hated each other. The Lollmans were forced to take sides.
艾倫解釋說，他們兩個人在認識彼此之前就與各自的愛犬相伴了。但兩人的狗直到他們經過異地戀愛、最終結合並生活在一起後纔打了照面，不幸的是，兩條狗互相看不順眼。夫妻倆只好各爲其狗了。
Love triangles -- or, in this case, quadrangles -- involving pets might be the trickiest types of relationships.
把寵物也包含在內的三角戀（或這裏應該是四角戀）可能是一種最微妙的戀愛關係。
We love our animal friends, of course, and for good reason. They're always happy to see us. They're forgiving of our faults. And if we care for them and show them affection, they will love us forever.
我們當然有理由愛我們的動物朋友。他們見到我們時總是很高興。他們會容忍我們的過失。如果我們關心他們、愛護他們，他們會一輩子都愛我們。
But the same is not necessarily true for humans, and there's the rub. Sometimes our slavish bonds with our pets can damage our relationships with family, friends and, especially, lovers.
但人卻不一定，人會有摩擦。成爲寵物的奴隸有時會破壞我們與家人、朋友、特別是戀人的關係。
Consider Marina Wolak and Buck, her one-year-old German shepherd. One day last week, she served him steamed broccoli for breakfast, raw ribs for a snack, and a grilled chicken breast and baked sweet potato for dinner. Her husband, Kirk, says he and their 10-year-old daughter got the chicken for dinner, but had no sides.
設想一下瑪麗娜•沃勒克(Marina Wolak)和她一歲大德國牧羊犬巴克(Buck)。上週的一天，她給它吃蒸椰菜當早飯，生排骨做零食，烤雞胸和甘薯做晚餐。她的丈夫科克(Kirk)說他和10歲的女兒晚上也吃了雞，卻沒有雞胸肉。
'Hello, what about us?' says Mr. Wolak, a 43-year-old computer consultant in Deerfield Beach, Fla. 'She caters to this dog and has nothing left in the tank for the family.'
43歲的科克•沃勒克(Kirk Wolak)是佛羅里達州的一名計算機諮詢師。他說，喂，我們怎麼辦？她把狗喂得飽飽的，卻什麼也沒給家裏人留。
Mr. Wolak says his wife buys fresh beef, chicken and rabbit for Buck, takes the dog to the park three times a day and puts fresh sheets on the mattress in his kennel twice a week. 'She will stay up late if the dog needs an extra walk because he is constipated, but she can't stay up and spend a little quality time with her husband,' he says.
沃勒克說他太太給巴克買新鮮的牛肉、雞肉和兔子，每天三次帶狗到公園裏散步，每週給狗窩裏的牀墊換兩次牀單。他還說，如果狗患便祕需要多散步，他太太會很晚才睡。但她卻不會爲了與丈夫一起好好待一會兒而晚睡。
Making matters worse: Both Mr. Wolak and their daughter are allergic to the dog. He estimates he has spent several thousand dollars on doctors' appointments, as well as a special air filter for their home. And, he says, he argues regularly with his wife over the cost of the dog's special diet, toys and training.
更糟的是：科克和他們的女兒都對狗過敏。他估計爲了看醫生以及給家裏買一個特殊的空氣過濾器，他已經花了幾千美元。他們還常常爲了狗的特殊飲食、玩具和訓練等花費爭吵。
'There is only one answer to fixing the wedge between us, and that is to get rid of the dog,' says Mr. Wolak, who believes that wouldn't be fair to Buck. 'So I am stuck with him -- and because he eats so damn well, he is going to live forever.'
科克說，只有一個辦法能解決我們的問題，那就是擺脫這條狗。但這對巴克不公平。所以我被狗纏住了，但它吃得這麼好，可能永遠都不會死。
Ms. Wolak, for her part, says, 'To get rid of Buck would be like getting rid of my daughter.'
瑪麗娜卻說，離開巴克就像離開女兒一樣。
Of course, if a pet causes a rift in your relationship with another person, the problem may not be the animal.
當然，如果一隻寵物讓你與其他人的關係產生了裂痕，或許不是動物的錯。
Human-behavior experts -- that is, therapists -- say it is typically not the pet's fault if something goes wrong between people. 'In my experience, pets do fine with relationships as long as the relationship is doing well,' says Katherine Brodsky, a clinical social worker in Manchester, N.H. 'But when the couple is having problems, often the pets are used as weapons for one partner against the other, just as children often are.'
人類行爲專家（即臨牀醫學家）說如果人之間出現問題，一般不是寵物的錯。美國新罕布什爾州曼徹斯特市臨牀社工布羅斯基(Katherine Brodsky)說，據經驗表明，只要夫妻關係良好，寵物就不是個問題。但一旦夫妻間出現問題，二人就會拿寵物借題發揮攻擊對方，就象孩子一樣。
Kim Gorode can tell you all about it. Her live-in boyfriend loves their two cats but is allergic to them, so he gets weekly allergy shots. This works out well, she says -- until they have a spat. 'If it's a money issue, he sometimes blames it on the fact that he has to pay for allergy shots and I don't, or if he's in a bad mood he will say he's congested because of the cats,' says Ms. Gorode, 27, an investor-relations representative who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y. 'It's totally his trump card.'
格羅德(Kim Gorode)贊同這一觀點。她今年27歲，是一名投資者關係代表，住在紐約布魯克林，養了兩隻貓。男朋友和她住在一起。他也喜歡這兩隻貓，但卻對貓過敏，所以每週都打抗過敏針。她說，本來這樣過得挺好，直到他們發生了口角。如果是錢方面的事，他有時會抱怨說他需要花錢打針，而格羅德不用。如果是心情不好，他會說自己過敏都是因爲貓。這成了他的王牌了。
Josh Gottesmann, 25, a high-school teacher, admits his girlfriend is right. 'This is my way of winning,' he says.
她男朋友格茲曼(Josh Gottesmann)今年25歲，是一名中學教師。他承認他女朋友說的對，這是他獲勝的辦法。
So how do you keep the peace between your pet and your other loved ones?
那麼怎樣才能保持寵物和愛人之間的和平呢？
James Serpell, a professor of animal welfare and director of the Center for the Interaction of Animals and Society at the University of Pennsylvania, warns against ascribing human emotions or motives to your pets. Don't allow the animal to become too close to you. (He won't let his dogs or cat sleep with him.) And don't take their behavior personally. 'Animals aren't that bright,' he says. 'They make simple associations, not complicated ones.'
瑟培爾(James Serpell)是動物福利教授，美國賓夕法尼亞大學(University of Pennsylvania)動物與社會互動中心(Center for the Interaction of Animals and Society)主任。他反對將人的感情或動機歸咎爲寵物因素使然。不要讓動物與你變得太親近。（他不讓他的狗或貓和他一起睡。）不要從人的角度解讀動物的行爲。他說，動物沒那麼聰明。他們只進行簡單的聯想，不會進行復雜的想象。
If all else fails, there is always pet therapy -- it worked for the Lollmans. After their dogs nearly wrecked their marriage, they sent Darby, an Irish terrier, and Kacee, an Australian shepherd-border collie mix, to live with a trainer for four weeks. Then the entire family -- two people, two dogs -- met with the trainer once a week for 16 more weeks after the dogs came home.
如果其它方法都不管用，試試寵物療法。它對羅爾曼一家很有用。在這些狗幾乎毀壞了他們的婚姻之後，他們把達比(Darby，愛爾蘭梗)和凱茜(Kacee，澳大利亞牧羊犬與邊境牧羊犬的雜交犬)送到訓狗師處住了四個星期。在狗回家之後，他們一家（兩個人，兩條狗）在接下來的16周裏每週與訓狗師見一次面。
'It was as expensive as human therapy,' says Ms. Lollman, 63, chief financial officer of a lighting company. But it was worth it, says her husband, 65, an attorney: 'You don't discard a pet.'
艾倫•羅爾曼說，狗的治療費和人一樣貴。她今年63歲，是一家燈飾公司的首席財務長。但她的丈夫喬說，這樣值得，不能拋棄寵物。喬今年65歲，是一名律師。
