英語小笑話帶翻譯爆笑大全
蘇聯政治笑話的功能,就國家政權層面而言,它具有十分鮮明的警示作用,因而具有建設性的功能,併發揮着政治安全閥的作用。下面是本站小編帶來的爆笑英語小笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!
(一)
An older lady gets undressed and starts to get into the bathtub. She gets about halfway into the tub and thinks, "Was I getting into the tub or getting out?”
一個上了年紀的女人脫了衣服準備去洗澡。她剛把一隻腳邁進浴缸就想:我是打算進去呢?還是正要出去?
She calls out, "Bernice! Was I getting into the bathtub or getting out?"
她大聲喊:“伯尼斯!我這是正要去洗澡還是打算要出來呢?”
Bernice says, "Well I don’t know. I' 11 have to come up and look.” Bernice starts walking up the stairs to the bathroom, gets halfway up and thinks to herself, “Was I going up the stairs or down? " She calls out "Sally! Was I going up or down the stairs?”
伯尼斯說:“我不知道，我這就上去看看。”伯尼斯開始往樓上的浴室走，走到一半時想到:我這是要上樓呢還是下樓?她大喊:“莎莉!我這是要上樓呢還是要下樓呢?”
Sally, who is just being with Bernice down in the living room calls back,“How should I know?” and thinks to herself, “I' m glad I’m not losing my mind like the other people in this house.”
剛還和伯尼斯在樓下客廳裏的莎莉喊:“我怎麼知道?”她自己想:我真的很高興我不像這個屋子裏的其它人一樣沒記性。
(二)
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
卡爾森被指控盜竊一輛奔馳轎車，經過長時間的審訊，陪審團將他無罪釋放。之後，卡爾森找到了聽證會上主持的法官。
“you. honor,” he said, “I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.”
“法官大人，”他說，“我想申請一張逮捕令抓捕那個骯髒的律師。”
“Why?” asked the judge, “He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?”
“爲什麼?”法官問，“他讓你贏得了無罪釋放。難道他有什麼罪嗎?”
“Well，your honor,”replied Carlson, “I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.”
“是的，法官大人，”卡爾森回答，“我沒有錢付我的律師費，他就把我那輛偷來的車開走了。”
爆笑英語小笑話帶翻譯欣賞An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.
一個美國遊客在以色列打了一輛出租車。使這個美國遊客震驚的是，當出租車開到紅燈底下的時候，司機根本沒有減速就直着衝了過去。雖然他很吃驚，但他什麼也沒說。他覺得自己是個遊客不應該找麻煩。
The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”
一切都很順利，直到下一個十字路口。這回是綠燈，可讓美國人驚愕的是那個司機踩剎車停了下來。他再也憋不住了，就問司機:“我問你，剛纔你闖紅燈我什麼都沒說，可這回是綠燈爲什麼你卻停了下來?”
The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”
那個以色列司機看着那美國人，驚訝的喊道:“你瘋了嗎?另一個司機現在正要闖紅燈，難道你想找死嗎?”
經典的爆笑英語小笑話帶翻譯Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.
一對愛爾蘭情侶坐在公園裏的長椅上。他們手牽着手，但是那個女的一直緊張地擺弄她的雙手。
Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”
瑪麗:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告訴你。”
Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”
帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什麼?有什麼事你儘管可以跟我說。”
Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”
瑪麗:“這件事簡直太難講出口了。”
Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”
帕克瑞克:“請你相信我，到底是什麼事?”
Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”
瑪麗:“那是好幾年前的事了。我爸爸失業了，當時沒有錢。”
Patrick: “So, what is it?”
帕特瑞克:“那然後呢?”
Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”
瑪麗:“哦，當時我們簡直是絕望之極。所以有時候我不得不去做妓女!”
Patrick: “WHAT!”
帕特瑞克:“你說什麼?”
Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”
瑪麗:“我們太需要錢了。”
Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”
帕特瑞克:“不要找藉口開脫了。出賣你的靈魂，你怎麼能這麼做呢? 你! 瑪麗，這我實在是接受不了。”
Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”
瑪麗:“不，帕特請不要這樣，我覺得你能理解我。我相信你依然愛我，哪怕我曾經出賣過自己的身體。”
Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”
帕特瑞克:“哦，你等會兒，那沒關係。剛纔我還以爲你是說你是當了新教徒呢。”
