英文笑話故事大全
冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現象,它輕鬆詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。本文是英文笑話故事，希望對大家有幫助!
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited￡¨???1￡? . "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."
"I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."
英文笑話故事：A Good Boy 好孩子Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
“你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“再給你兩分錢。可你爲什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是個賣糖果的。”
英文笑話故事：老漢擡驢Old Man And Donkey
There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.
The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions. Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk. The two decided that maybe they both should walk.
Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride.
They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal. The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.
As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
英文笑話故事：TWO HEARTS BEATINGNurse: How do you feel after your operation?
Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.
Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.
兩顆心臟在跳動
護士：手術後你感覺怎樣?
病人：十分好，只是我能感覺到我體內有兩顆心臟在跳動。
護士：怪不得給你做手術的大夫剛纔在到處尋找他的手錶。
英文笑話故事：AN ANGRY WIFE'S PRAYERA man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray to God that you are speaking the truth", his wife says.
"May God strike me dead if I am lying."
"Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.
一個發怒妻子的祈禱
一個男人因嗜賭而經常回家很晚，爲此他妻子從沒停止過罵他。一次他因工作很晚回到家後，他妻子指責他又去賭博了，可他發誓說這次是因爲工作。"我祈禱上帝你說的是實話，"妻子說。
"如果我說謊上帝便賜我於死。"
"那我祈禱上帝你是在說謊。"他妻子充滿希望地說。
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