短英語小笑話帶翻譯
笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調侃、娛樂或諷刺。本站小編整理了英語短篇冷笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!
A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
一位小城市的法官正在處理一個酒後駕車的案件。被告曾經有過酒後駕車的記錄，現在需要一個陪審團做出裁決。那時已經是下午四點，找個陪審團來會浪費很多時間。所以，法官就宣佈休庭，然後就去隨便找些人來充當陪審團。他正好發現在大廳裏有十二個律師，就把他們叫來組成了陪審團。
The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.
這些律師們認爲能做陪審團將會是個新奇的經歷，所以就同意和那個法官回到了法庭。審訊十分鐘就結束了，因爲很明顯被告是有罪的。接着，陪審團進行商議，法官做好了回家的準備，每個人都在等待着最後的結果。
After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?
差不多三個小時以後，法官已經等不及了，他派法警去看看陪審團是否做出了最後的判決。當法警回來的時候，法官問他:“怎麼樣?他們做出了最後的判決沒有?”
The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”
法警搖搖頭說:“判決?天哪，他們還在進行推選陪審團主席的演講呢!”
英語短篇冷笑話帶翻譯篇二KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…，you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored，and Perspectives is back on the air.
KQED電臺在幾天前宣佈，由於資金緊張，他們將刷掉一個叫做《觀察評論》的節目。第二天一大早，唐·愛得華茲從專門記錄聽衆反饋意見的電話錄音中聽到了一位婦女的留言:“我叫朱莉婭，一個老聽衆了，聽說你們要取消《觀察評論》這個欄目，我感到非常氣憤!我要考慮收回我的資助，除非你們能恢復……”緊接着是一聲急促的剎車聲，然後是撞擊聲和玻璃粉碎的聲音，並且伴隨着朱莉婭的尖叫聲:“天那，你們簡直快讓我發瘋了，剛纔我和前面的一輛車追尾了，我掛電話了。”接着便是掛上電話後的滴答聲。可憐的朱莉婭，其實資金已經重新運轉了，《觀察評論》這檔節目也重新開播了。
英語短篇冷笑話帶翻譯篇三A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.
一箇中產階級男子決心遠離紅塵，去當修道士。每個出家的人都必須要立個沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允許說兩個字，作爲對這一段時間所經歷事情的總結。
After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”
第一個五年過去了，當修道士讓他用兩個字總結這五年的經歷時，那人說道“破牀”。
When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”
又過了五年，當修道士再次問道他的時候，他回答“豬食”。
After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”
第三個五年過後他對修道士說“放棄”。
The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”
道十點了點頭喃喃地說道:“果不出我所料，這十五年來除了抱怨以外你什麼也沒有做。”
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