英語笑話短文帶翻譯閱讀
笑話作爲一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。笑話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起着重要作用。本站小編分享英語笑話短文帶翻譯，希望可以幫助大家!
A judge, a bishop, and a conductor were having a discussion. All three were rather vain men, and their talk soon turned to the question of which of them was the greatest.
"Well," said the judge, "My position is one of dignity and power. When I walk into the courtroom, the bailiff says ‘All rise!’ and all the people stand to pay me honor."
"That's very nice," said the bishop. "People stand in your honor; but when people have an audience with me they kneel, kiss my ring, and they address me as 'Your Holiness.'"
The conductor snorted and said, "I think I got you both beat; when I step onto the podium, as guest conductor, the people look down, put their hands over their eyes, and say 'Oh, my God!'"
一個法官、一個教堂主教和一位指揮家正在進行一場辯論。三個人都是虛榮自負的人，他們的話題很快轉到他們之中誰是最偉大的人上。
“嗯，”法官說，“我的職業既高貴又擁有權力，當我走進法庭的時候，獄警會說‘全體起立!’接着所有人都會站起來向我致意。”
“好極了，”主教說，“人們站起來向你致敬。當我出現在教堂裏，人們會跪在我的面前，親吻我的戒指，並稱呼我爲‘陛下’。”
指揮家哼了一聲，說道：“我覺得你們都不如我。當我作爲客座指揮走上指揮台的時候，人們都垂着頭，用手捂着眼睛，說道，‘噢，我的上帝!’”
英語笑話短文帶翻譯：Prepare Yourself 自己準備A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom-flunked all courses. Kicked out of school, Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
在校園裏廣爲流傳着這樣一個故事：有一次，一個學生給他的父母發了一封電報，上面寫道：“媽媽，我的功課沒有一門及格的，我已經被學校開除了，請爸爸做好準備。”
過了兩天，這個學生收到回電：“爸爸已經準備好了，你自己也做好準備吧!”
英語笑話短文帶翻譯：Thirty Years and Five Minutes 30年和5分鐘A rich Paris banker begged a well-known artist to do a little thing for his album. The artist did the little thing and asked a million francs.
“Why, it only took you five minutes to do it,” said the banker.
“Yes,” replied the artist, “but it took me thirty years to learn how to do it in five minutes.”
一位很富有的巴黎銀行家懇求一位著名的畫家爲自己畫一張小畫。畫家畫完之後，向他收取一百萬法郎的報酬。
“爲什麼?你僅用了5分鐘的時間。”銀行家說。
“是的，”畫家回答，“可是我用了30年的時間才學到這5分鐘裏所做的事。”
英語笑話短文帶翻譯：Mother, You Can Come Down 媽媽，您可以下來了The cruise ship my friend was working on socked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below.
The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70's appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, mother, you can come down now."
我的一個朋友在遊船上工作。由於潮水當時漲得很高，船停靠在墨西哥的一個港口，遊客們不得不踩着一條很窄的跳板才能上岸。
當一位七十多歲的老婦人站在跳板的頂端時，船上所有的工作人員都嚇呆了。跳板太窄，根本沒有攙扶老人的空間。因此，老婦人只好慢慢地側着身子往下走，最終當她安全抵達碼頭後，大家懸着的心才放了下來。下來後，老婦人轉過身，衝着跳板的另一端喊道：“沒事的，媽媽，您現在可以下來了。”
英語笑話短文帶翻譯：My friends only came to say goodbye 朋友只是來送行There were three professors at the railway station. They were deep in conversation. The train had just arrived, but they did not notice it. Then the guard shouted, "Take your seats, please!"
The professors heard the guard and rushed for the train. Two of them got on the train before it moved. The third one was left behind. It was Professor Egghead. He looked worried.
One of the professor's students was at the station. He tried to comfort the professor. "It wasn't really bad, sir," said the student. "Two out of three caught the train. That's quite good, you know." "I know," the professor said. "But it was my train. My friends only came to say goodbye."
三個教授在站臺上等火車。他們正在全神貫注地談話。火車進站了，可是他們都沒有注意到。這個時候，列車員喊道：“請上車了!”
教授們聽到後飛快地向火車跑去。其中的兩個剛登上去，火車就開了。最後一個名叫埃哈德的教授沒有趕上火車，看起來非常焦慮。
教授的一個學生也在車站等車，他盡力安慰着教授：“先生，這還不是很糟，你們中有兩個人已經趕上了火車。要知道，這已經很好了。”“我明白，”教授說，“但是要趕火車的是我，他們只是來爲我送行的。”
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