英語笑話5篇
英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑,或是產生幽默感,笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言。下面是本站小編整理的英語笑話5篇，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語笑話一：
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said, "What?"
丈夫給妻子看了一項調查結果，爲了向她證明女人比男人囉嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000個字，而女人每天使用30000個。
妻子想了一會兒說，女人每天說的字數是男人的兩倍，因爲她們必須重複已經說過的話。
他問："什麼?"
英語笑話二
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的麼?
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
英語笑話三
"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
"湯姆，你弟弟怎麼了?" 媽媽在廚房裏問。"他在哭。"
"沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因爲我不給他吃。"
"他已經吃完自己的了麼?"
"是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"
英語笑話四
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成爲意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成爲意大利的首都吧。”
媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉，你爲什麼求上帝讓那不勒斯成爲意大利的首都呢?”
朱莉葉回答說：“因爲我在地理考卷上是這麼寫的。”
英語笑話五
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
“醫生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問，“對於一個看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再沒有比這容易的了，”醫生回答，“問他一個簡單的問題，簡單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不乾脆，那你就知道是怎麼回事了。”“那要問什麼樣的問題呢?”“嗯，你可以這樣問，‘庫克船長環球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會兒，緊張的回答道，“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎?坦率地說，我對歷史瞭解的不是很多。”
