英語暴笑笑話
英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑,或是產生幽默感,笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言。下面是本站小編整理的暴笑英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
暴笑英語笑話一：
The Cemetery Shortcut
爲抄近路走墓地
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
萬聖節派對過後，兩男人圖個樂呵，打算抄近路穿過墓地回家。
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
走到墓地中央時，他們被從迷霧中傳來的“答、答、答”聲驚嚇到了。
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
正當兩人害怕得渾身顫抖時，他們看到是個老頭拿着鐵錘和鑿子，在一塊墓石上鑿着什麼。
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口氣說，“你把我們嚇得半死啊，我們還以爲遇上鬼了呢!那麼晚了你在這裏做什麼?”
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
“那幫白癡!”老頭抱怨道，“他們把我名字拼錯啦!”
【註釋】
1. Just for laughs 這個俗語在不同情況下，它的意思略有不同。
其一，它可以解釋爲：做某件事純屬爲了高興，例如：
Come on and get your jacket -- let's go out and have a couple of beers just for laughs.
來吧，穿上你的外套，我們到外面去喝兩杯啤酒高興高興。
另外，just for laughs 有時也可以指做愚蠢的事或有害的事，例如：
Just for laughs they tossed Mary in the swimming pool with all her clothes on. Then they found out she didn't know how to swim.
就是爲了開玩笑，他們把瑪麗連衣服帶鞋的整個扔進了游泳池，結果他們發現，瑪麗根本不會游泳。
2. 笑話中出現了一個"Holy cow"，它是什麼意思呢?來看維基上的解釋："Holy cow!" is an exclamation of surprise used mostly in American and Canadian English. 原來它是一個表達驚訝的感嘆詞，多用於美國和加拿大。
暴笑英語笑話二：
a man of actions
a crowd of student was gathered on the campus of oxford university. “you can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, i’ll leave oxford this very evening!”
a buzzing noise followed. “what a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “how should we support him and learn from him!” said another.
suddenly, a girl asked, “what did the dean say to you, hob?”
he bent and whispered to her, “well,er???er???miss rose, er???he told me to get clean away from oxford this very evening!”
暴笑英語笑話三：
一個言出必行的人
一羣學生聚在牛津的校園裏，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個傢伙不收回他今早對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”
下面一片喧譁。“真是個言出必行的人。”一個人豔羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支持他、學習他。”
突然，一個女孩問道：“那傢伙對你說什麼了，霍波?”
他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”
(1)a crowd of:一羣
(2)on the campus:在校園裏
(3)have no doubt:沒有疑問、毫無疑問
(4)take back what he said：收回他說的話。也可以說take back his words
(5)very：(a.)就是那個、正是那個
(6)in admiration：羨慕地
(7)whispered：whisper的過去式，意爲“悄聲說”
暴笑英語笑話四：
if i am a manager
one day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if i am a manager.
all the students began to write except a boy. the teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“i am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
如果我是一個經理
一天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是一個經理”爲題寫一篇作文。
所有的學生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他爲什麼不寫。
“我在等我的祕書”。那孩子答道。
note
assign vt.分配, 指派 (與to連用)分配
the monitor was assigned to take notes for the meeting.
班長被分派作會議記錄。
暴笑英語笑話五：
Two Birds 兩隻鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
老師： 這兒有兩隻鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪隻是燕子，哪隻是麻雀嗎?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
Teacher: Please tell us.
老師：請說說看。
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
暴笑英語笑話六：
who was the first man？ 誰是世界上第一個男人
a teacher said to her class:”who was the first man?”
一個老師問她的學生：“誰是世界上第一個男人”
“george washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.
一個小男孩立刻大聲說：“喬治.華盛頓。”
“how do you make out that george washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
老師帶着寵溺的笑容問這個男生：“你如何證明喬治華盛頓是世界上第一個男人呢。”
“because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
這個男孩子說：“因爲，他是第一個挑起戰爭，第一個主張和平，並且是第一個深得民心的人。”
but at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
這時，有一個年齡稍大的男孩子舉起手來，老師問他，“你認爲誰是世界第一個男人?”
“i don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but i know it wasn’t george washington, ma’am, because the history book says george washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
男孩回答說：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是喬治華盛頓，因爲歷史書上說，喬治華盛頓和一個寡婦結婚了，所以在他之前，當然還有一個男的啦。”
英語故事:
promptly 立刻地
indulgently 寵溺地，放任地
widow 寡婦
