如何做到真正快樂幸福？
In mid-December, I celebrated my 30th birthday at a little Scandinavian restaurant in a quickly-changing part of DC. I was surrounded by great artwork, brightly colored vats of aquavit, and the people I loved most. Throughout the cocktails and the courses of heavy winter food, I kept looking around to marvel at all I have to appreciate in my life. Professionally, I am a decently busy photographer and yoga teacher. I just marked a year and half with my boyfriend (we’re an OK Cupid success story). I have lovely friends and a great home and opportunities to travel. Most importantly, though, I feel good in my own skin and confident in my ability to handle the hard times.
12月中旬，我在一家傳統北歐風情餐廳裏慶祝了自己三十而立。這家飯店位於哥倫比亞，其所在地已經發展得日新月異。在派對上，我的周圍是絢麗奪目的禮物，五彩斑斕的白蘭地和我最愛的人們所帶來的快樂。在享受可口的冬季佳餚和美酒的同時，我亦觀察着周圍的人和事，對我生命中所出現的一切感到無比激動和感恩。工作上，我是一個體面的攝影師和瑜伽教練。感情上，我和我的男友已經共同度過了一年半的甜蜜戀愛時光（我和他的故事正是丘比特愛神之箭成功射中的傑作）。我還有要好的朋友和一個幸福的家庭，甚至有機會去外面旅旅遊。而最最重要的是，我對自己的現狀非常滿意，日子即使變得艱難，我也相信自己有能力把它處理好。
It wasn’t always this way. Five years ago, I was going through some serious soul-searching. I was just back in the States after living abroad. Confused about what I wanted to do, I took a job at a dysfunctional non-profit, where I soon felt trapped. I had been single for a while and thought this meant something big about me. I tried to be myself, but each date I went on only confirmed how far I was from having the kind of relationship I wanted. There was nothing really wrong in my life, but nothing felt like it fit.
但之前我的生活並不是這樣。五年前，我一直在認真進行自我反思。當時我正從國外回來，對於前途非常迷茫。在一家不太正規的非盈利機構工作了一段時間後，我陷入了工作困境。對於單身的我來講，這個狀態是非常嚴重的。我努力做我自己，但每天我所作的一切卻僅僅證明了一點——我正離我理想的人際關係處理狀態越來越遠。我的生活並沒有出現什麼大問題，但卻總感覺有什麼不對勁。
It took a lot of change to get to where I am now. I got a therapist and a life coach. I got serious about my yoga practice, sat for 10 days on an intense meditation retreat, and took ayahuasca with a shaman in the Peruvian Amazon. I took a lot of risks and was super honest about what I wanted—and what I was willing to do to get there. These days, I still feel fear, anger, anxiety, and shame. But I see these as temporary moods within the larger framework of a life I love.
我做了很大改變才成爲如今的自己。我僱了一位私人醫生和一位生活導師，開始認真練習瑜伽。我曾靜坐整整10天，全身心投入冥想，在祕魯亞馬遜和一位薩滿祭司飲用死藤水（小編注：用南美一種藤本植物的根泡製而成，有致幻作用的飲料）。我嘗試了各種冒險活動，完全忠於探索自己的內心所需，並思考着我願意怎樣做才能獲得它。
I want this for us all. Although I am skeptical about most New Year's resolutions—my brother says we just use them to make ourselves feel better after overindulging in the holidays—I think now is as good a time as any to make the changes you’ve been thinking about. These are five ideas that have helped me on my quest to be happier.
我希望把我的想法分享給大家。雖然對人們常講的新年計劃我持懷疑態度——弟弟說那其實人們爲了享受假期找的美好慰藉——但我認爲對於你們當中任何有規劃新年習慣的朋友，現在就是最好的時機了。1. Put the cart before the horse. The most important—and at times perhaps the most annoying—piece of advice that I’ve gotten is just to straight out be happier. We get so caught up in trying to look perfect, get promoted, be cool, find a partner. All of that stuff is awesome, but it's not going to feel good for long without a certain base of personal contentment. You’re just going to want more and more. If you really think about it, we seek things because we think we will feel better once we have them. So why not just feel better and then see what comes?
1.將想法本末倒置。坦白來說，我得到的最重要的有時也是最討厭的建議就是變得更快樂。我們總是過分追求外形完美，工作晉升，保持理智或找到伴侶。沒錯，這些都很誘人值得去追求，但若沒有自我滿足感，擁有這些並不能永遠讓你保持快樂。你會變得貪得無厭。仔細思考下，如果你真認爲，我們追求某物是因爲一旦獲得它我們將變得開心，那爲什麼不開始先保持快樂的心態，也許你想要的會自動來到你身邊呢？
2. Dream big and challenge yourself. To me, making a "resolution" feels like a punishment and a chore. I’ve always preferred to think of these goals as "dreams," which stirs up the feeling of possibility for me. There is a special energy and real power that comes from talking about your dreams, even when they sound totally crazy. Around this time of year, I like to make a list of what I really want to see happen in my life. I may not get to everything on that list this year (or even in my lifetime), but at least I can understand what direction I want to be moving in. If dreams don't appeal to you, think about your change as more of a challenge. In 2011 I challenged myself to take and post a photograph every day. Taking 365 pictures was fun at times and annoying at others, but in the end I learned that living an artistic life is about doing a little work every day, not just the occasional inspiration.
2.懷揣大夢想，自我挑戰。做計劃這種事對我來說就是被懲罰，等於做家務。因此，我傾向於將計劃看作夢想，夢想可以帶來實現的可能性。當你談論你的夢想時，你會感受到一股奇妙卻真實的力量在振奮着你——即使這個夢想聽起來是那麼的荒誕不羈。在每年這個時間，我都會列個清單寫下我真正所需的一切，看看來年它們會不會發生。我可能不會將今年（或一生）所需的東西都列在上面，但至少可以明白自己所努力的方向。若你的夢想沒有足夠吸引你，可以考慮改變自己來實現自我挑戰。在2011年，我的自我挑戰目標是每天都要拍照攝影，並將作品張貼起來。有時你會發現完成365張照片是一種樂趣，但亦有人會覺得這樣的工作非常痛苦，但最終我懂得了一點——做藝術不僅僅是瞬間的靈感，更多的是每天的點滴積累。
small. "Micro movements" is a term used by the inspirational author and dreaming advocate SARK. Twenty-eight years ago she was an unemployed artist in San Francisco who suffered from chronic procrastination. What changed her into the author of 16 bestselling books was learning how to take the first step. Her advice is that if your dream is to write a novel, then your first micro movement could be to turn on your computer. After that you can decide whether or not you want to keep going. If you do, from there you can open and name a Word document. If you decide to go further, then you can write a bad sentence and then maybe another will come. I’ve also heard this used as a way to motivate yourself to exercise: If you don’t feel like going for a run, just put on your shoes and see what happens. The key is to alleviate any pressure to do everything at once. Every project is made up of dozens of small steps that are all pretty doable.
3.從小事做起。“微行動”一詞是由靈感作家和夢想倡導者薩克提出來的。28年前她是舊金山的一名患有慢性拖延症的無業藝術家。之後她開始學習如何邁出第一步來改變自我，因而成爲了如今寫出16本暢銷書的著名作家。她給大家的建議是，若你的夢想是寫小說，那你的第一個微行動就是打開電腦。打開之後你再決定你是否繼續下一步。如果你決定繼續，那麼你將打開並創建一個word文檔。若你想深入進行下去，你甚至可以寫個病句，而下一句或許就隨之而來了。我經常聽到這樣鼓舞人心的話：即使你不想跑步，你也先穿上跑鞋再說。這樣激勵方式的關鍵在於減輕你立刻行動的壓力。其實每個大的計劃都是由多個可行的小步驟積累形成的。4. Practice. “Practice and all is coming.” This is my favorite quote from Patabi Jois, the father of Ashtanga Yoga. His students—who were mostly Western—would come to him seeking help to escape their neuroses and destructive behavior. He would flash his beatific smile and tell them to go do their practice and everything would be ok. Of course, your practice doesn't have to be yoga. It can be biking or painting or anything that challenges and centers you. My boyfriend spends his weekends experimenting with new baking recipes, pushing himself to get the right consistency and trying again when his cakes fall. The simple act of baking makes him feel good. So what is your practice? Once you figure out what that thing is for you, make a point of doing it a few times a week and notice how you feel within the consistency. Bigger goals and dramatic changes are very real, but I’ve come to see that daily routines are really what sustain me. The best creative work often happens within the stability of practice.
4. 實踐實踐再實踐。“實踐讓一切水到渠成”這是我最喜歡的一句格言，來自於阿斯湯加瑜伽鼻祖Patabi Jois。他大部分的學生來自於西方，經常請教他如何擺脫一些精神上的破壞性行爲。他總是露出一絲安詳的微笑，只告訴學生做瑜伽練習，一切皆會找到答案。當然，你的練習不一定是瑜伽，它可以是騎自行車，畫畫抑或是任何吸引你挑戰你的事。我的男友願意花整個週末時間研究全新烘烤配方，一旦烘烤失敗就重新來過，他用這樣的方式促使自己獲得內心的協調。烘烤麪包如此簡單的實踐卻使他感覺很棒。那麼你的實踐是什麼呢？當你找到自己適合的實踐，一週留心地做幾次，感受下它給你帶來的內心和諧。宏偉的目標和突破性改變雖然也現實，但我卻逐漸意識到每天日常的行爲纔是真正支撐我的東西。最具創造力的作品往往來源於你每天堅持的實踐中。
5. Take refuge in yourself. The most incredible practice I’ve found is free-writing for 30 minutes each morning. I learned this from The Artist's Way (another great tool for tapping into your creative talents). I’ve done "morning pages" as consistently for over two years, and they have made such a big difference in my attitude about life, especially when I was complaining. To me, there is no comfort that can compare to the privilege of being able to sit down for 30 minutes to write about whatever is going on inside. This writing practice has made me my own best friend. It has shown me that I have infinite amounts of strength and humor if I look for it, and that I deserve all of all of good things that happen to me once I make the decision to get out of my own way. So I just do it. I wake up and write until I feel clear. Then I close my notebook and make a bowl of oatmeal and enjoy my day.
5.投靠自己。我發現最不可思議的實踐行爲是每天早上寫半小時的隨筆。我是從《the Artists' Way》學到的（另一個激發你創造性能力的強大工具）。每天早晨寫隨筆的習慣我已經堅持了兩年多，它強烈地改變了我對生活的態度，尤其是我在抱怨的時候。現在對我來說，沒有任何事比每天早晨花半小時抒發內心情緒更能讓我內心舒適從容的了，它已經成爲我最好的知己。它讓我瞭解到自己體內原來有那麼強大的力量和那麼多的幽默細胞可以去挖掘，同時，它也讓我領悟到，一旦我決定走自己的路，我值得擁有所有美好的事物。因此我一直堅持這個實踐，每天清晨醒來寫作，靜靜看着文字流淌在筆間，直到內心情緒變得清晰明確，就合上筆記本，喝一碗燕麥享受全新的一天。
