結婚,爲錢還是爲愛?
導讀：從“被動婚姻”到“自由戀愛”， 從“速配愛情”再到“丁克”家庭，從“剩女(3S lady)”流行到“我的生活我主宰”……每個年代的婚戀都打上了各自的時代烙印。 新中國成立60年來歷經風雨，中國人的婚戀觀也發生了翻天覆地的變化。
Attitudes to love and marriage continue to change since the first Marriage Law was introduced in 1950, and have to play catch-up with people's evolving love lives since then.
自1950年中國第一部《婚姻法》頒佈之後，人們的婚戀觀念一直在轉變着；該法自誕生之日起就一直伴隨戀人們的腳步，與時俱進着。
Wu Bo, the 55-year-old mother of a 23-year-old unwed son, was taken aback when Ma Nuo, 22, a model from Beijing said on China's most popular TV reality program Don't Bother Me: "I'd rather weep in a BMW than smile on the bicycle of my true love."
22歲的北京模特馬諾在熱門電視真人秀《非誠勿擾》中說：“我寧願坐在寶馬裏哭，也不願坐在愛人的自行車後座上笑。”這番言論着實使現年55歲的吳波（音譯）大吃一驚。她的兒子今年23歲，目前還是單身。
"I don't like to generalize, but Ma's words show that young women today worship money. They won't get married unless their boyfriends have a house and a car. They're so mercenary," Wu says.
吳波說：“儘管我本人不喜歡以偏概全，但是馬諾的這番話將當下年輕女性的拜金心理顯露無疑。她們是如此的金錢至上——除非男朋友有車有房，否則不會結婚。”
A civil servant in Chengdu, Wu remembers her own younger days in the 1980s as being rosy and romantic.
吳波是成都的一名公務員。回憶起上世紀80年代的那段青春歲月，她表示那是一段浪漫的美好時光。
"Material success was not so important to my generation. Most of my peers wanted to find a mate who was a spiritual match more than one who was materially rich."
“對於我們這代人來說，物質上的成功並不像現在這般重要。對於當時的大多數同齡人來說，我們擇偶的條件主要是看彼此是否心心相印，而不是追求物質上的富有。”
"Being materialistic is not our fault. Our whole society is already that way," says Sun Mei, 24, a project officer with a Canadian company in Beijing.
24歲的孫梅（音譯）是北京一家加拿大公司的項目主任。她表示：“注重物質生活並非我們的過錯。我們整個社會都是這個樣子。”
"If I marry a poor man for love, I will lose face, and the quality of my life will be worse than if I were single."
“如果我爲了愛情而嫁給一個沒什麼錢的人，我會很沒有面子，我的生活質量也會比婚前低。”
While the freedom to marry for love had become socially acceptable, divorce was not. As in marriage, couples had to get the permission of authorities before they could divorce.
在過去，自由戀愛結婚雖然已經爲社會所接受，而離婚則不然。夫妻雙方需要得到單位的批准才能離婚。
In 1980, Yu Luojin, a writer in Beijing, filed for divorce, claiming she was no longer compatible with her husband. But, incompatibility was not legal grounds for divorce under the existing Marriage Law. The term incompatibility was so foreign that Yu's appeal triggered a social controversy about the reasons for divorce.
1980年，北京作家遇羅錦聲明自己和丈夫之間感情破裂，遂訴請離婚。但在當時的《婚姻法》中“感情破裂”尚無法律依據。“感情破裂”這一術語如此陌生，以至於遇羅錦的申訴引發了社會民衆對於離婚原因的廣泛爭論。
With Yu Luojin's case, the 30-year-old Marriage Law no longer met the needs of the contemporary social landscape.
遇羅錦離婚案說明，已有30年曆史的《婚姻法》無法滿足當今社會形態的需求。
In 1980, the first amendment to the Marriage Law was issued. Incompatibility was written into the articles of the new Marriage Law.
1980年，《婚姻法》進行了首次修訂後頒佈。“感情破裂”這一術語被寫入了新的《婚姻法》條例中。
"People realized that love could be the reason for a marriage. They gradually gave up the old idea of sex as reserved for having children. They began to see sex as a way of expressing love and affection, and for the pleasure of body and soul," says Chen Mingxia.
陳明霞（音譯）表示：“那時人們意識到結婚是爲了愛。他們逐漸摒棄了之前‘傳宗接代’的兩性觀念。他們開始將性視爲表達愛與情感、追求身心快樂的一種方式。”
Love, affection and enjoyment became the standard by which many people judged the quality of their marriage.
愛意、感情以及快樂成爲許多人衡量婚姻好壞的標準。
Later the influence of Western-style sexual liberation affected marriage stability and in the 1990s, some old practices returned.
後來，西方“性解放”對婚姻的穩定性造成了威脅。在上世紀90年代，一些舊習俗再次死灰復燃。
Keeping an er nai, a concubine, or second wife, became a social phenomenon in big cities like Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Beijing and Shanghai. Many young women of low social status were willing to be kept by wealthy older men. Some even bore children with their sugar daddies
在深圳、廣州、北京、上海這些大城市中，包二奶成爲一種社會現象。很多社會地位不高的年輕女性情願被上了歲數的富翁包養。一些人甚至爲所謂的“乾爹”生兒育女。
"This not only jeopardized the legal rights of the women in the marriage. The rights of the er nai and their illegitimate children couldn't be realized either," says Chen Mingxia.
陳明霞說：“這不僅損害了女性在婚姻中的合法權利，二奶及其私生子的權利也無法得到保障。”
The Marriage Law was amended again to meet these new social changes. In 2003, a second amendment to the Marriage Law was issued. In it, cohabitation of a married person with any third party was prohibited. It stipulated that man and wife should be faithful to each other, and respect each other.
爲了適應新的社會變化，《婚姻法》經歷了第二次修訂。2003年修訂的《婚姻法》中嚴令禁止已婚者與他人同居，並明確規定夫妻間要忠於對方，相互尊重。
Nowadays, another remarkable phenomenon in Chinese relationships has emerged, namely shan hun or "lightning marriages". In this case, a couple gets married shortly after their first date.
如今，中國戀人間又出現一種值得注意的現象——閃婚。所謂“閃婚”，指的就是情侶在初次約會後很快步入婚姻殿堂。
Most of the couples who enter into such quick marriages are people born in the 1980s. Unlike their parents, this generation is coming of age in an era of exploding wealth and rising expectations for material success.
大多數選擇這種“速食”婚姻的人都出生於上世紀80年代。與他們的父母不同，這代人成長於一個財富暴增的時代，他們對物質成功的期望也是與日俱增。
No specific figures are available for lightning marriages. However, it seems clear that quickie marriages risk a quickie divorce. The latest figures from the Ministry of Civil Affairs reveals that, in 2009, China had 2.48 million divorces, an 8.8 percent rise over 2008. Many were the result of lightning marriages.
關於閃婚的數量還沒有一個確切的統計數字。但似乎可以明確的是，閃婚很有可能以“閃離”收場。民政部最新數據顯示，2009年，中國離婚人數達到248萬人，相比2008年上升了8.8%。其中很多對都是由於閃婚造成的。
"Most 1980s people are only children. They are self-centered and not tolerant in relationships," says Chen. "If they want something, they want it now, the same with their relationships. They are prone to get divorced quickly instead of taking time to improve themselves and become more tolerant."
陳雲霞說：“大多80後都是獨生子女。他們在與對方相處中過於自我且不夠包容對方。他們想要什麼東西，就要立刻得到，對待感情也是一樣。與其花費時間完善自我，包容對方，他們寧願選擇快速結束婚姻。”
