別人家孩子的簡歷！網友感嘆好像一輩子都比不過他了……
最近，#5歲小盆友的簡歷#上了熱搜。博主“開八”在微博上發了一位5歲小朋友的簡歷，網友表示，看完就明白了什麼叫“輸在了起跑線上”。
正在準備明年畢業找工作的大朋友們，先來學習一下小朋友的自我介紹：
Full-fledged adults should stop whining about how arduous it is to write a decent résumé, because this five-year-old kid in China has just mastered the art of self-aggrandizing.
已經長大成人的各位，可別再抱怨寫一份得體的簡歷有多費勁了，因爲中國有個5歲的孩子都已經知道該怎麼在簡歷中表現自己了。
An extensive résumé (in Chinese) by an anonymous kindergarten kid became the hottest topic on Chinese social media. Coming in the form of a 15-page PDF document, the résumé gives an incredibly comprehensive overview of the child’s awe-inspiring history.
近日，一位不知名的幼兒園小朋友的簡歷成爲中國社交媒體的熱門話題。這份簡歷內容豐富詳實，是一份長達15頁的PDF文檔，全面介紹了孩子的成長史，讓大家頗爲驚歎。
“I was born in a family where both parents are graduates from Fudan University,” the kid proudly states of his family background in the first part. He even makes a pun out of the name of the university, calling himself a “typical fuerdai,” where the fu of the phrase for“second-generation rich”(富二代 fù’èrdài) is replaced with the fu of Fudan University (復 fù).“I hope I can outperform my parents,”he adds.
在簡歷一開頭，孩子就驕傲地簡述了家庭背景。他寫道：“我的父母都畢業於復旦大學。”他還把“富二代”中的“富”換成了“復旦大學”的“復”，用雙關語調侃自己是個“典型的復二代”。他還說：“我要青出於藍而勝於藍”。
The kid moves on to describe himself as “confident,” “considerate,” and “strong.” To give examples, he relates that he never cried over vaccine shots and that one and a half years after his birth, he managed to stand up without help from others if he fell to the ground. “Everyone said praises about how I was so brave,” the kid says.
接下來，他在簡歷中將自己的性格描述爲“靈動自信、友善貼心、耐挫堅強”。爲了舉例證明，他說自己打針從來沒哭過，而且在一歲半之後，摔倒了就自己爬起來，不用別人扶。這個孩子在簡歷中說：“大家都誇我勇敢”。
小朋友在簡歷中說：“自己做過20多本思維書，裏面有空間思維、記憶力訓練、邏輯推理、計算練習、幾何認知等。通過實驗瞭解浮力、密度、磁力、重力……”“從小班開始就是小主持人，從四歲半開始學鋼琴，還一直堅持學街舞，兩歲多開始學習塗鴉，已經有150多幅作品”。
He also explains how he excelled in four things — literature and history, science and math, arts, and sports. “I write three English essays per week to express my feelings,” he says, adding that he has a variety of hobbies outside school, such as piano, hip-hop dance, soccer, and Go.
他還描述了自己在文史、數理、藝術和運動方面的突出表現。他寫道：“我每週寫三篇英語日記來記錄我當天的心情”。他還說自己有豐富的課外愛好，比如鋼琴、街舞、足球和圍棋。
In addition, the document includes the kid’s daily schedule, comments from his teachers, and a map that indicates every place he has traveled to.
此外，簡歷還列出了孩子的日程安排，老師的評語，還有一幅標記了他所去過的國家和城市的地圖。
One admirable quality of the kid’s that really stands out is that the boy is a big reader. He says that he read over 500 English books in the past year. At the end of the résumé, there are five pages listing all the English books he has read so far. On a related note, it’s worth mentioning that a recent study suggests that nearly two-thirds of all Chinese over the age of 18 read no books in their leisure time in 2017.
這位5歲的孩子最讓人欽佩的一個優點是“讀萬卷書”。他說自己去年一共讀了500本英文書。簡歷末尾用5頁的篇幅列出了他讀過的全部英語書目。值得一提的是，最近一項調查指出，中國近三分之二的18歲以上成年人在2017年沒有在空閒時間讀過一本書。
According to Weibo user kāi bā 開八, who shared the résumé but didn’t disclose how he obtained it, the document appears to be part of some application materials for an international primary school.“Both parents are high achievers working in high-profile positions at international firms,” the user wrote.
微博用戶“開八”在網上分享了這份簡歷，但沒有透露來源。據他說，這份簡歷似乎是用來申請就讀國際學校的材料。他在微博中寫道：“父母都非常厲害，在高薪行業的頭部國際公司做高管。”
這份“驚爲天人”的簡歷被“開八”貼出後，至今在微博已有近4萬的轉發，留言數量更達到2萬條。
這份簡歷又帶給了網友們新一輪的焦慮，就連微博CEO@來去之間都轉發微博並評論：轉發焦慮。
不少網友調侃說：“我好像這輩子都比不過這個孩子了”，“算了，我還是不要小孩了”。
更悲哀的是，有人感嘆自己連這個簡歷PDF也不會做。
但也有人對該小朋友的簡歷表示無奈，“他，開心嗎？”
但也有網友表達了另一種看法：
有網友直言不諱：“你以爲是孩子的差距，其實是你”。
有網友批評說，中國的“超前教育”氾濫已讓幾乎所有學齡前兒童的家長都陷入了集體焦慮中。“不少家長們會不自覺地將搶跑的優勢無限放大，並以爲在起跑線上搶跑就等於一直領先到達終點，這真是大錯特錯。”
The résumé is undoubtedly remarkable. But let’s be real. The amount of effort and skill needed to put it together is far beyond the capability of a five-year-old. So it’s safe to say that the kid’s parents are the ones who deserve all the credit. Or as some internet users speculated, since the parents are executives with busy schedules, the résumé was possibly written by their subordinates.
這份簡歷無疑引人矚目。但我們還是現實一些吧，一個5歲的孩子是絕沒有這樣的能力自己做出來的。所以簡歷的製作肯定是孩子的家長代勞。還有些網友猜測說，孩子的父母是高管，日程安排繁忙，或許還是讓屬下代寫的。
Whatever the case may be, this viral résumé offers an intriguing glimpse into China’s hyper-competitive education system, where getting into an elite primary school has become more cutthroat than ever.
不管是哪種情況，這份在網上走紅的簡歷讓我們窺見了中國競爭激烈的教育體制，想要進入一所精英小學就讀越來越難了。
