你的孩子希望你在社交媒體上停止做這三件事
Now that you're "friends" with your child, you might want to mind your posts.
既然現在你已成爲孩子的“好友”，那麼你可能在髮狀態時要注意以下幾點。
1) CONSTANTLY MOM-BRAGGING ABOUT THEM.
1）作爲母親，不斷的炫耀他們。
It's nice to offer the occasional kudos, like when your teen passes his or her driver's test, but it's important to be aware of how they feel about being the main focus of your posts all the time, says Susan Kuczmarski, Ph.D., family expert and author of The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go. "Self-consciousness, sometimes called an 'imaginary audience,' can be overwhelming in teens," she says. In other words, they assume that everyone around them is watching and passing judgment. So even sharing a candid photo of your teen studying, while innocent to you, could feel like a violation of their privacy. Before you post, pause and ask yourself: Why do I want to share this particular update about my child? Is it really about his or her accomplishment, or is it about me showing off? The next step is to ask for their permission, which creates respect between you, says Kuczmarski.
偶爾吹噓他們是件好事兒，比如當他們通過駕照考試時，但是記住以下一點也很重要：對於自己總是成爲你狀態的重心，他們的感受是什麼，蘇珊•庫茲馬斯基（Susan Kuczmarski）博士說道，她是家庭專家也是《青少年神聖飛行：家長後退一步放任孩子自由指導》一書的作者。“自我意識，有時也叫做‘假想的觀衆’可能會讓青少年十分困擾，”她說道。換句話說，他們會想象身邊的人都在關注他們，對他們指指點點。所以即使你只是分享了一張孩子認真學習的照片，雖然你是無心的，但也是一種侵犯隱私的行爲。在髮狀態之前，可以先停下來問自己：爲什麼我想要分享孩子的這個狀態呢？這真的只是關於他/她的成就還是隻是我這個當媽媽的想要炫耀一下呢？下一步就是徵得他們的同意，因爲這樣會讓你們彼此都相互尊重，庫茲馬斯基說道。
2) COMMENTING ON ALL OF THEIR POSTS.
2）評論他們發佈的每一條狀態。
Teens want their parents to follow them digitally, however, they prefer that's it's done from the background, says Rourke. "They don't want parents inserting themselves into their social exchanges. Follow and read, but ask questions or comment privately." If your offspring feels like you're cyberstalking them, they will eventually begin to censor their posts or block you from seeing them, warns Andrea Vazzana, Ph.D., child and adolescent psychologist at the Child study Center at NYU Langone Medical Center. "And to some extent, that's appropriate," she says. "Teens are supposed to be developing a sense of self. The trick is to figure out what the boundaries ought to be." Having an open conversation about your social media connection with them, and establishing some ground rules, will avoid tension later on.
青少年們想要自己的父親在社交媒體上關注自己，但是，更傾向於從後臺關注，洛克說道。“青春期的孩子們並不想要父母把自己融入到他們的社交中。你可以關注他們、看他們的狀態，但是要私下問他們問題或是評論。”如果你的孩子們覺得你在網上跟蹤他們，他們就會開始每發一條狀態就檢查一遍或者屏蔽你們，不讓你們看他們的動態，博士安德里亞•威扎娜說道。她是紐約大學朗格尼醫學中心兒童研究中心的兒童和青少年心理專家。“在某種程度上，這是合適的，”她說道。“青春期的孩子們應該會發展一種自我意識。關鍵就是要找到這個界限是什麼。”和孩子們談談吧，談談你們在社交媒體上與他們的聯繫，設定一些基本規則，這樣就會避免以後的關係緊張。
3) REPRIMANDING THEM ONLINE.
3）在網上斥責他們。
What if your teen puts up a photo that you don't approve of, or says something that you know could come back to haunt them later? Your gut reaction might be to call them out on it right there, but "shaming" them online could do more harm than good, says Vazzana.
如果你的孩子們在網上發了一張你不贊成的照片，或者說了一些以後會糾纏他們的話，你會怎麼做呢？你的直覺反應可能會立馬叫停他們，但是在網上“羞辱”他們只會帶來比好處更多的傷害，威扎娜說道。
