失戀告訴我們的7件小事
1. Everyone needs free space
每個人都需要自由空間
Many people think that a true love means that they should spend 24 hours a day together with the person they love. Such schedule will make you lose your identity in a quite short period of time. Remember, everyone needs some free time and space to satisfy their personal needs and do things that make them feel alive. By all means, don’t let your identity die, because it will be difficult to bounce back.
許多人認爲，真愛意味着他們應該24小時和愛人在一起。然而這樣的日程安排會讓你很快就失去自我。記住，每個人都需要一些自由時間跟空間來滿足他們個人的需求、做一些能讓他們感覺充滿活力的事情。無論如何，不要喪失自我，因爲找回自我會很困難。
2. The lust period is temporary
激情只是暫時的
This wonderful period usually makes you fly on the wings of love. When you are extremely happy, you spend hours dressing to impress your partner and talking about love till the dawn. Unfortunately, the period of butterflies in the stomach ends fast andamorousness turns into a real and adequate love. Love is the period when you are ready to share both good and bad with the person you love. Love really grows when you have no fear to lose and when you absolutely accept all pros and cons of your significant other.
戀愛中激情四射的這個奇妙階段，通常會讓你戀愛的小翅膀飛個不停。當你非常高興的時候，你會花很多時間打扮自己來打動你的伴侶，跟他談論愛情直到天明。不幸的是，這段心中小鹿亂撞的時期會很快結束，激情變成了一種真正充分的愛。這段時期的愛情，是你準備好跟你的愛人分享你的好與壞。愛只有在你不懼怕失去、完全接受另一半的好與壞的時候纔會真正成長。
3. Other people don’t belong to you
別人並不屬於你一個人
Nowadays we live in a democratic world where people are free and have equal rights and responsibilities. Moreover, we are free to express ourselves and lead an independent life. No matter how long you’ve been together, you should understand that the person you love isn’t your property. People who really love each other are committed to this beautiful feeling and treat each other with respect. Your love is your muse but not your possession. You cannot control the behavior and every step of your partner, because it will only break trust in your relationship. The only adequate thing you can do is to trust him and try to create common rules of commitment both of you should stick to.
如今的我們生活在一個民主的社會裏，每個人都是自由的、他們擁有同等的權利和責任。除此之外，我們可以自由地表達自己的想法，過獨立的生活。不管你們在一起多久了，你都應該明白你愛的那個人不是你的個人財產。真正相愛的兩個人會對這段美妙的感情履行承諾、互相尊重。你的愛是你自己的想法而非真正佔有。你不能控制另一半的所有行爲，因爲這隻會破壞你們之間的信任。你唯一能做的就是相信他，試着去創造一種你們兩個人都能遵守的承諾規則。
4. Complete yourself
完善你自己
I do agree that other people can improve you and fill your life with joy and wonderful colors, but you should realize that people will never complete you or live up to your expectations. There’s no need for validation from your partner. First of all, you should learn to cultivate self-love before you can share it with your beloved. Try to develop yourself until you find yourself confident and complete. It requires you to change your actions, thoughts, emotions and behaviors.
我贊成其他人能夠幫助你提高自我、並且讓你的生活更加美好和豐富多彩，但是你應該意識到，人們永遠不會去成全你或者滿足你的期望。沒有必要事事都要得到另一半的批准。首先，在能夠和愛人分享你的愛之前，你要學會愛自己。試着提升自己，慢慢地你會變得更加自信、更加完整。這就需要你改變你的行動、想法、情感和言談舉止。
5. Don’t even try to change your partner
不要試圖改變你的另一半
You can change many things in this world, but it’s almost impossible to change your partner’s outlook and habits. All you can do is to show the right path to your partner and if they have an internal desire to change, they’ll make a shift. A humanpsyche has the capacity to ignore things and ideas strongly imposed by others. This way your partner may achieve temporary improvements and then return to their casual habits again. If you cannot stand something in your partner, then you should shift your energy and react to the situation in a different way. It’s better to stay calm and respond everything in cold blood.
在這個世界上你可以很多東西，但是幾乎不可能改變另一半的觀點和習慣。你所能做的只是把一些正確的方法展現給他們，如果他們內心想要改變的話，他們會主動做出改變的。人類的靈魂會習慣性忽視別人強加給他們的思想或行爲，用強加的方式可能會讓你的另一半暫時得到提高，但是不久之後他們又會回到原來的樣子。如果你不能忍受另一半的某些缺點，你就應該把精力放在改變自己身上，用不同的方式去應付各種狀況。不管面對什麼事情，都最好保持冷靜。
6. Get rid of your inner conflicts
擺脫你內心的糾結
Your attitude and behavior in your relationship can be the reflection of your fears and anxiety which reign in your sub consciousness. If you want to have a healthy relationship, you should start from healing your inner world from fears and conflicts. Plus, you need to do all possible things to boost your self-esteem. Begin to love yourself and you’ll be able to share your love with somebody else.
你在戀愛中的態度和行爲舉止，都會反映出你潛意識裏的恐懼和擔憂。如果你想要有一段健康的戀愛關係，你就應該從治癒你內心世界的恐懼和擔憂開始。還有，你需要儘可能地做一些提升自己自尊心的事情。開始愛護自己，這樣你才能夠去愛別人。
7. Learn how to let go gracefully
學着優雅地放手
It seems that some relationships teach us how to honorably let go. After a considerable reflection on the opportunity to build a happy and healthy relationship, you may realize that this love doesn’t cost your time and energy to continue. Unhappy relationships teach you to struggle for happiness. Furthermore, you should use the opportunity to let go of the past in order to be able to find the true love of all your life and cultivate a long and loving relationship. Don’t become disheartened the next time you face a relationship break-up, because it may help you develop a new vision of the world and start a better relationship.
似乎有一些戀愛總會教我們怎麼去體面地放手。在建立一個幸福和健康的戀愛關係過程中，相當多的反思之後，你會明白這份愛不會再繼續浪費你的時間和精力。不快樂的戀愛教會你如何爲幸福做鬥爭。除此之外，你應該把握這次對過去放手的機會，從而能夠找尋你生命中的真愛、並和TA培養一段持久有愛的戀愛關係。當你再次面臨分手的時候，別泄氣，因爲這有助於你換個視角看世界、並開始新的戀情。
