80後懷舊動畫片告訴我們的...(搞笑)(圖)
教材：藍精靈
課程主題：共產主義實現了！(Communism works!)
課程原文：For naysayers who point to the Former Soviet Union as proof that communism is inherently flawed, may we merely direct your attention to Smurf Village, where everyone shares everything, wears similar utilitarian clothing, battles Gargamel and his turn-Smurfs-to-gold get rich quick schemes and obeys the dictates of a bearded, red hat-wearing, benevolent authority figure. Quoth Comrade Papa: “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.” Really, he actually said that.
課程大意：藍精靈村裏的居民們共享着勞動成果、穿着相似的工裝、“齊心合力開動腦筋斗敗了格格巫”——這不正是馬克思所說“各盡所能，按需分配”的最好體現麼？
總結原文：However, the sexual politics of Smurf Village, with its one female for every 30 guys, did go a long way towards preparing us for freshman year of college.
課程總結：藍精靈村裏只有一個藍妹妹卻有30個小夥子的男女比例恐怕不甚樂觀，那得多少時間學校纔有個新學生咧？==|||
教材：大力水手
課程主題：多吃菠菜有好處。(Spinach is good for you.)
課程原文：Sure, it doesn’t taste as good as candy, ice cream or opium, but it’s full of essential vitamins and minerals that’ll make your muscles explode like battleship cannons. If you want to triumph over the bullying Blutos of the world and win the affections of your own lovely, leggy Olive Oyl, pound a can of spinach at least once a day. Or put it in your corncob pipe and smoke it, like everybody’s favorite ornery, mumbling sailorman. Toot toot!
課程大意：儘管菠菜不如糖果、冰激淋美味，但它富含你體內所需的維他命和礦物質，能讓你的肌肉像艦艇上的炮彈一樣大爆發。總之想要打敗惡棍贏得美女，多吃菠菜吧！
總結原文：You only need to look at the steroid scandal rocking Major League Baseball to see that Popeye raised a generation that is willing to use performance enhancers. Also, it should be pointed out that Olive Oyl was the first anorexic sex symbol.
課程總結：看看美國職業棒球聯盟的類固醇醜聞，你就知道大力水手是怎樣影響了一代人讓他們不惜一切想要變得更強健。需要指出的是女主角奧利弗也許是第一個厭食症患者。
教材：希曼
課程主題：成爲同性戀也沒關係。(It's OK to be gay.)
課程原文：Look at this guy: golden locks cut in a tasteful bob, buff biceps, tanned, toned, hairless torso, a magic sword and most importantly, fabulous powers. What’s more, He-Man invites his handsome friends, the Masters of the Universe, to come hang out in his castle anytime. Of course Skeletor and his fugly cohorts are never allowed access to the secrets of He-Man’s dark, dry palace. Yes, we had He-Man toys, like Ram-Man, Trap-Jaw and even Castle Grayskull. We also had a favorite pair of tighty whiteys that had He-Man on one cheek and Skeletor on the other, battling over our asshole. But did merely owning and wearing that underwear make us gay?
課程大意：金髮剪成帥氣的髮型、淺黃色的雙頭肌、棕褐色的光滑身軀，擁有魔劍和舉世無雙的力量；此外他還動不動把他的帥氣朋友邀請到自己的城堡來……囧
總結原文：As regards the above question, it’s a very complex matter, but in a word: yes. (For more on depictions of homosexuality in '80s cartoons, please see Care Bears.)
課程總結：擁有希曼卡通裏面的玩具周邊以及服飾內衣內褲之類的會不會真的讓男孩子變成同性戀呢？這是一樁很複雜的問題，但一句話回答：是的。【小編我汗……】
教材：忍者神龜
課程主題：愛普爾·奧尼爾真的很贊！(April O'Neil is really hot.)
課程原文：She’s got red hair, wears a sexy yellow jumpsuit and gets down with anthropomorphic pizza-fiends. Most girls want nothing to do with dudes that live in the sewers, but not April O’Neil. She doesn’t even mind hanging with that old man-rat wearing a pink kimono! This girl is a freak, for real. I’ve got one word for you dude: cowabunga. Cowabunga that chick in your underground lair all night long.
課程大意：紅髮黃衫，同住在地底下的非人類一起吃批薩吃得歡，甚至不介意同穿着粉紅色和服的老耗子一起出門。說真的，這女孩子是怪胎。
總結原文：Mistakenly thought our girlfriend would be cool with it if we called them dude or ate nothing but pizza.
課程總結：要是你稱呼自己的女朋友爲“兄弟”或者只吃批薩不吃別的，你女朋友不生氣纔怪咧！
教材：變形金剛
課程主題：不小心點的話，機器人會把我們都殺絕的。(If we’re not careful, robots will kill us all.)
課程原文：This is a humbling lesson for any child to learn, but an easy one to accept, considering Transformers was one of the coolest cartoons of the '80s. Would the Unabomber have renounced his violent ways if he were to witness the sheer stunning spectacle that is Grimlock? Hard to say, since he didn’t have a TV. But we will tell you one thing: when machines replace humans at the top of the food chain, we’ll be standing on the sidelines, waving our Autobot flag with fervent pride. Because, let’s face it, getting eaten by an alien car would suck.
課程大意：老實告訴你吧，要真的有一天機器們把人類擠下食物鏈頂端的時候，我們大概都會站在兩邊滿腔熱情地揮舞着博派的小旗子。現實一點好不好，被外星汽車吃掉很挫誒。
總結原文：The reason we stay away from Priuses and make our TV wear a blindfold when we sleep at night.
課程總結：這就是爲什麼我們不開本田車，還有睡前必須給電視機罩上罩子。
