老爸老媽發問 孩子不乖就該打屁股?

According to reports about the Adrian Peterson felony abuse indictment, Peterson’s 4-year-old son pushed another of Peterson’s sons off a video game. Peterson then retrieved a tree branch — called a “switch” — stripped off its leaves, shoved leaves into the boy’s mouth and beat him with his pants down until he bled.
阿德里安·彼得森(Adrian Peterson)因爲毆打孩子而被控以重罪，相關的新聞報道稱，彼得森四歲的兒子把他的另一個兒子從遊戲機前推開，之後彼得森拿來了一根樹枝，他說是“細枝”，扯下了葉子、把葉子塞進兒子嘴裏，又把兒子的褲子扒下來毆打，直到出血。

According to a CBS affiliate in Houston, Peterson texted the boy’s mother that she would be “mad at me about his legs. I got kinda good wit the tail end of the switch.”
CBS旗下的一家休斯頓當地媒體報道稱，彼得森給這名男孩的媽媽發短信說，她會“因爲孩子的腿跟我生氣的。除了那根細枝，我真的沒招兒了”。

He also reportedly texted that he “felt bad after the fact when I notice the switch was wrapping around hitting I (sic) thigh” and “Got him in nuts once I noticed. But I felt so bad, n I’m all tearing that butt up when needed! I start putting them in timeout. N save the whooping for needed memories!”
據報道，他還發短信說，“我感覺有些難受，因爲我注意到樹枝打到腿上時，裹着腿彎了過去”並且“打到了他蛋蛋上。可是我感覺太生氣了，有必要的話，能把他屁股撕爛！我今後要把他們關起來，有必要讓他們記住的時候，纔會抽鞭子！”

But the boy reportedly said, “Daddy Peterson hit me on my face,” that his father “likes belts and switches,” that “there are a lot of belts in Daddy’s closet,” and that he “has a whooping room.”
可是根據新聞報道，男孩說，“老爸彼得森打我的臉”，還說他的父親“喜歡用腰帶和樹枝”，而且“老爸的櫃子裏有很多腰帶”，他還“有一個抽鞭子的房間”。

Spanking is not against the law in America — although some argue that it should be, as it is in Sweden and some other countries — but, as with most things in life, there are degrees beyond which even something that is generally acceptable, or at least legal, crosses a threshold and becomes not so.
打屁股在美國並不違反法律，儘管有些人認爲，應該像瑞典和其他國家一樣，立法禁止。但就像生活中的許多事情一樣，超過了一定限度，即使是通常可以接受的事情，或者說至少合法的事情，就會跨過門檻，變得不能接受。

This seems, on its face, from what we now know, a case in which the limits have most likely been exceeded.
根據我們目前所知的信息，這起案件從表面看來，就是一個超過了限度的例子。

Peterson released a statement that read, in part:
彼得森發佈了一份聲明，其中寫道：

“I have to live with the fact that when I disciplined my son the way I was disciplined as a child, I caused an injury that I never intended or thought would happen. I know that many people disagree with the way I disciplined my child. I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.”
“我必須承認，我像自己小時候受懲戒那樣懲戒自己的兒子時，造成了傷害，這不是我的本意，我也沒有料到會發生這種情況。我知道許多人不認同我懲戒自己孩子的方式。在拜訪了一名心理學家之後，我也理解了還有其他可能更妥當的方式來懲罰孩子。”

It is good that Peterson met with a psychologist and learned alternative disciplinary methods, but that doesn’t heal the child’s wounds, and the fact that Peterson may have been abused in this way does not make it acceptable to pass on the abuse to his own children.
彼得森去見了心理學家，還學到了懲戒孩子的新方法，這都很好。但這並不能彌合孩子的創傷，而且即使彼得森被這樣虐待過，把這種虐待再傳遞給自己的孩子也是不可接受的。

He continued, setting up an even more dangerous proposition:
接着，他又提出了更加危險的看法：

“I have learned a lot and have had to re-evaluate how I discipline my son going forward. But deep in my heart I have always believed I could have been one of those kids that was lost in the streets without the discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives. I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man. I love my son and I will continue to become a better parent and learn from any mistakes I ever make.”
“我學到了很多，而且被迫重新評估了我將來懲戒孩子的方式。但在我內心深處，我一直相信，如果不是我的父母和其他親屬在我身上注入的紀律性，我或許就會成爲迷失在街頭的那些孩子。我一直相信，我的父母懲戒我的方法，與我成人之後取得的成功有很大的關係。我愛我的兒子，會繼續努力做一個更好的父親，也會從我犯的錯誤中吸取教訓。”

When we promulgate the notion that our success is directly measurable to the violence visited on our bodies as children, we reinforce a societal supposition that pain is an instrument of love, and establish a false binary between the streets and the strap.
當我們宣揚這樣的觀念，說我們在兒時經受過的暴力，是和自己的成功存在直接關聯的，我們等於在強化一種社會臆想：痛苦是示愛的途徑，從而建立街頭和皮鞭這種錯誤的一一對應關係。

I take Peterson at his word that he loves his son, but the drawing of blood isn’t an expression of love. Love doesn’t look like that. That looks like an expression of anger and exasperation that morphs into abuse.
我就暫且相信彼得森說的話，即他是愛兒子的，但讓他們流血不是愛意的表達。愛不是那樣的。那看起來是在表達憤怒和懊惱，最終變異成虐待。I understand the reasoning that undergirds much of this thinking about spanking: Better to feel the pain of being punished by someone in the home who loves you than by someone outside the home who doesn’t.
我明白在這種打屁股式責罰的背後是怎樣的動機：在家裏被愛你的人懲罰，感受其痛苦，總比在外面被不愛你的人懲罰要好。

But that logic simply doesn’t hold up.
但這個邏輯根本說不通。

As the nonpartisan research group Child Trends pointed out in a report last year:
無黨派研究機構“孩子趨勢”(Child Trends)在去年的一份報告中提出：

“Use of corporal punishment is linked to negative outcomes for children (e.g., delinquency, antisocial behavior, psychological problems, and alcohol and drug abuse), and may be indicative of ineffective parenting. Research also finds that the number of problem behaviors observed in adolescence is related to the amount of spanking a child receives. The greater the age of the child, the stronger the relationship.
“體罰的使用和孩子成長的負面結果存在關聯（比如少年犯罪、反社會行爲、心理問題、酒精和毒品濫用），可能表明了家長失職。研究還發現在青春期觀察到的問題行爲和受到責打的情況相關。孩子的年齡越大，這種關聯越明顯。

“Positive child outcomes are more likely when parents refrain from using spanking and other physical punishment, and instead discipline their children through communication that is firm, reasoned and nurturing. Studies find this type of discipline can foster positive psychological outcomes, such as high self-esteem and cooperation with others, as well as improved achievement in school.”
“當父母停止使用打屁股和其他體罰，轉而通過堅決、有理和關愛的溝通加以管教時，更有可能出現正面的成長結果。研究發現這種類型的管教可以培育出正面的心理結果，比如更強的自尊心，願意與他人協作，在學校的表現也有改善。”

The group also pointed out just how pervasive the practice is:
該機構還提到了體罰行爲的普遍程度：

“In 2012, according to a nationally representative survey, 77 percent of men, and 65 percent of women 18 to 65 years old agreed that a child sometimes needs a ‘good hard spanking.’ ”
“據一項全國性調查顯示，2012年，在18到65歲的人中，有77%的男性和65%的女性認爲，有時候在孩子‘屁股上狠狠來幾下’是有必要的。”

The group continued:
該機構接着說：

“One of the most frequently used strategies to discipline a child, especially a younger child, is spanking. About 94 percent of parents of children ages 3 to 4 in the United States report having spanked their children in the previous year.”
“在管教孩子的策略中，最常使用的是打屁股，尤其是針對較年幼的孩子。有約94%的美國3到4歲孩子父母曾在之前一年裏打過孩子屁股。”

Spanking is an age-old disciplinary technique, so turning the tide against it may be difficult. Some people even argue that it’s a necessary tool in a parent’s arsenal of options.
打屁股是一種古老的管教手法，因此要扭轉這種風氣並非易事。有人甚至認爲，作爲父母有必要把這作爲一種備選的手段。

I think we need to reconsider that.
我認爲這事我們需要三思。

Peterson also texted the boy’s mother: “Never do I go overboard! But all my kids will know, hey daddy has the biggie heart but don’t play no games when it comes to acting right.” Actually, Peterson did go overboard, and now the legal system will decide if and how he will be punished for it.
彼得森還給孩子的媽媽發短信說：“我從來不會過頭！但我的孩子都得知道，他們這個爹心寬，可在學做人的事上不是鬧着玩的。”事實上彼得森是過頭了，現在法律會決定他是否以及如何爲此受到懲罰。