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在職場中應如何控制脾氣

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Scream at the boss? Snap at a colleague? Throw your cell phone into your computer monitor?

朝老闆大喊大叫?對同事厲聲斥責?把手機砸在電腦顯示器上?

In most cases anger isn't an illness but a normal human emotion that causes problems when itflares too hot, too often. People can learn to manage their anger with practical skills.

在大多數情況下,憤怒並不是一種疾病,而是一種正常的人類情緒,只不過在過度、過於頻繁發生的時候纔會導致問題。通過實際的技巧,人們可以學會管理自己的憤怒情緒。

Psychologists believe that individual talk therapy is the most effective for anger r doesn't occur by itself. It's nested and embedded with a lot of other emotions --sadness, grief, shame. Angry people want to talk, given the opportunity.

心理學家認爲,個人對話治療是解決憤怒問題最有效的方法。憤怒並非單獨產生的,它還隱含和嵌入着許多其它情緒,比如傷心、悲痛、羞辱等等。一旦有機會,憤怒的人總是想傾訴。

Tips to Help Keep A Temper in Check

有助於控制脾氣的小貼士

1. Calculate what your anger is costing you. Many people with anger problems think anger givesthem an edge, and establishes superiority. Instead, you just look like an idiot.

計算憤怒的成本。許多患有憤怒問題的人都會認爲憤怒給予他們一定的優勢,讓他們具有優越感。其實恰恰相反,你看起來就像個白癡。

2. Be aware of how you talk to yourself. If you keep saying how awful this is and makingyourself feel alike a victim, you will get more angry.

小心自言自語的方式。如果你總是在說這件事情是多麼糟糕,讓你自己感覺十足是個受害者的話,你就會變得更加憤怒。

3. If you feel a blowup coming on, give yourself a time-out before acting on it. Wait 15minutes before you say something, or an hour before you send an email. Keep your optionsopen. If it's not going to be important in an hour, then let it go. It's not worth getting angryabout.

如果你感覺自己就要大發雷霆,那麼不妨在爆發之前稍作停頓。過15分鐘再開口,或者是過一個小時再發郵件。給自己多個選擇。如果在一個小時之內這件事情變得不再那麼重要的話,那麼就讓它過去吧。它不值得你爲之生氣。

4. Keep an "anger log" to monitor what makes you angry. Learn to identify and avoid yourtriggers.

記下"憤怒日誌",監控導致自己憤怒的因素。學習辨認和避免觸發憤怒的扳機。

5. Don't ruminate on past affronts or injustices.

莫要沉湎於過去所受的侮辱或者不公平。

6. Get physical, without fists. When your primitive brain senses a threat, it sets off the 'fightor flight' cascade of hormones. Opt for flight instead of fight and burn off the extra adrenalineand cortisol with exercise. Even a brisk walk will help calm you down.

鍛鍊消耗精力,不用拳頭。當你的原腦感覺到危險的時候,它會發出"打或逃"的激素鏈。選擇逃而非打,通過鍛鍊消耗掉多餘的腎上腺素和皮質醇。即便是一次輕快的散步也會有助於你平和情緒。

7. Reframe the situation. Instead of seeing every inconvenience or frustration as a personalaffront, imagine a benign explanation.

重新組織自己面臨的狀況。與其把每一次困難或者沮喪的經歷看作個人遭受的侮辱,倒不如設想一個善意的解釋。

8. Find a constructive solution to the issue at hand. Ask yourself: What do I need to be okayright now? That shifts the focus from how the other person needs to be punished to how I needto respond in a healthy way.

找出一個建設性的解決辦法應對手頭的問題。問問你自己:我現在需要怎麼做才能保持平靜?這樣就會將注意力轉移,從專注於考慮對方必須受到怎樣的懲罰,轉移到要怎樣才能以一種良好的方式應對。