對一位同事有好感，應該怎麼約？

In a 2017 CareerBuilder survey, 41 percent of workers ’ fessed up to dating a co-worker, and 30 percent of those relationships led to marriage. Regardless of how common it is, asking your work crush out on a date requires a lot of tact, especially with all the workplace sexual harassment scandals that have unfolded over the last year.

“凱業必達”調查公司公佈的2017調查顯示，有41%的上班族曾經爽快地答應過同事的約會請求，而他們其中有30%的人最終走進了婚姻的殿堂。不過，不管這是多麼常見的現象，想要請求你心儀的同事約會還需具備豐富的社交手段，特別在應對那些沒有曝光的職場性騷擾的醜聞的時候。

How do you go about it without being a creep? Below, human resources and dating experts share six things to keep in mind before asking someone out at work.

那怎麼做纔不會讓自己看起來像一個怪咖？下面我們的人力資源及約會專家給大家分享六個小貼士，請謹記在心，在約會同事外出的時候就可以用得上了。

1. Check what HR policies are in place.

1. 適時覈查公司的人事政策。

Your workplace is just that: a workplace, not a bar or a dating app for download. None of the HR experts we spoke to encouraged actively looking for love at the office, but they acknowledged it happens. And while it’s less common for businesses to enforce or even have a non-fraternization policy, it’s still important to determine if your company has one, said Teresa Marzolph, founder of Culture Engineered, a human capital consulting firm in Phoenix.

你所在的職場就是這樣的了：是工作的地方，而不是酒吧或一個可供下載的約會應用軟件。我們約談過的HR專家都不鼓勵員工在辦公室找另一半，不過他們也不否認有這種事情發生。雖然對於工商企業來說一般不會實施甚至運行一套不親民的政策，但你也很有必要去確定公司是否有這樣的政策。Teresa Marzolph說道。Teresa是Culture Engineered的創始人，而這所公司是美國菲尼克斯州的一家人力資源諮詢事務所。

“The few policies still in existence often focus on relationships that put the company at risk, such as a romantic relationship between a manager and their employee, or one that runs contrary to the checks and balances that exist within the company ― like quality assurance and customer service or finance and sales,” Marzolph told HuffPost.

“很少有現存的政策會關注那些容易讓公司陷入危機的人際關係，比如管理者與他們的員工之間的情人關係，或者是違背公司部門之間相互制衡的關係——例如品質保證與客戶服務或者是財務與銷售，”Marzolph在接受赫芬頓網站訪問的時候說道。

If no guidelines exist, Marzolph recommends gauging the workplace culture around you: Have you heard of other office relationships developing in the past? Does the company encourage after-hours camaraderie among the staff?

如果沒有現存的公司指引，Marzolph則建議員工去評估所處的職場文化：你是否曾經聽說過其他的辦公室戀情？公司是否鼓勵員工之間建立下班後的友情？

“A company that sponsors or hosts non-work events and activities may be an example of a culture that’s much more tolerant or even supportive of relationships in the workplace,” Marzolph said.

“如果一家公司贊助或主辦工作以外的活動，也許這就能證明這家公司的公司文化更能包容甚至支持辦公室戀情。”Marzolph說道。

2. Be friends first.

2. 先從朋友開始。

Avoid going from zero to 100 by establishing a friendship first, said Lynn Taylor, a workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job. This way, you’ll find out early on whether you have anything in common besides mutual disgust of your boss’ Tupperware lunches.

要避免從零到一百的長遠路程，那就先從朋友開始吧，Lynn Taylor表示。她是一位職場專家，也是《馴服可怕的辦公室暴君：如何對付孩子氣的老闆行爲，蓄力發展》的作者。這樣做的話，你很快就能發現，你們之間除了討厭老闆的便利店午餐之外，還有哪些相似之處。

“Establish a foundation and find out if you’re compatible, personality-wise,” Taylor said. “Then, take cues. Gauge your next actions off the responses you generally receive from the person.”

“打好基礎，看看你們能否友好相處，個性相似。”Taylor說道。“然後，尋找線索。基於你從對方的反應所得到的信息，評估下一步行動。”

3. Suggest getting coffee.

3. 咖啡之約。

Take some of the stress out of the situation by suggesting a casual location for your date, said Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and image consultant.

在一個休閒場所約會，可以減少一些壓力，Neely Steinberg表示，她是一位約會教練及形象顧問。

“Coffee is usually a good suggestion because it’s low key and really, who doesn’t like coffee?” Steinberg said. “Plus, it may be perceived as a friend thing as opposed to an actual ‘date.’ If you’re not getting a good romantic vibe, you can always just chalk it up to a friendly co-worker coffee.”

“去喝杯咖啡通常都是很不錯的建議，因爲喝咖啡是很低調的，並且誰不喜歡咖啡呢？”Steinberg說道。“再者，這個舉措可能會被視爲朋友之間的活動而不是一次真正意義上的‘約會’。如果你們沒有衍生浪漫的氛圍，你還是可以把這視爲一次友好的同事咖啡之約。”

4. When you do ask, don’t make it weird.

4. 如果你真的要提出來了，不要讓它看起來很彆扭。

In the past 12 years Marzolph has worked in human resources, sexual harassment complaints have almost always been about how someone went about asking, not the fact that they had asked.

在過去的12年，Marzolph都在人力資源這一行裏工作，而性騷擾的投訴常常都發生在某個人詢問對方的方式，而不是他們詢問的事實。

“The common theme is that the interaction left one person feeling uncomfortable,” she told us. “Whether intended or not, most filing a claim or complaint describe the pursuing employee’s approach as awkward or inappropriate.”

“常見的問題就在於兩個人之間的互動會讓其中一個人感到不適，”她表示。“不管你是故意的還是不是故意的，大多數人提出索賠或投訴都表示追求者的方式是令人尷尬或不合適的。”

To avoid becoming an office-wide pariah, be mindful of your surroundings and your body language when floating the idea of a date, Marzolph said.

爲了避免當一個全公司都知道的過街老鼠，在你表達自己的約會請求的時候，請細心留意你所在的環境和你的肢體語言，Marzolph表示。

“Don’t come on too strong or corner the person, and ideally, approach them outside of work or in the communal area,” Marzolph said. “Try to keep your approach light; be ready to give the person an easy out if they’re not interested, so you both can continue working together without tension.”

“不要表現得太強勢，也不要攔住對方，理想情況下應該在工作或通勤區以外的地方接近他們，”Marzolph建議。“請記得方法要輕巧，因爲如果對方不感興趣的話，你要準備一個下臺階，這樣做的話你們都能夠繼續一起工作也不會感到壓力。”

5. If they say ‘no,’ maintain professionalism throughout the experience.

5. 如果對方說“不”，也要在這次經歷中保持專業的態度。

Don’t take it personally if your crush is just not that into you, Taylor said.

Taylor表示，如果你的夢中情人對你不感興趣，你也不要針對對方。

“If the person declines, remember that this is a risky proposition,” she explained. “Your co-worker might have otherwise said ‘yes’ if you hadn’t met at work. Many are averse to dating co-workers as a personal policy.”

“如果對方拒絕了你，請記住這是一次冒險的請求。”她解釋道。“你的員工也有可能說‘好’，如果你們是在工作以外的地方相遇。但是很多人都會出於個人原則拒絕與同事約會。”

6. If they say ‘yes,’ still maintain professionalism throughout the experience.

6. 如果對方說“好”，你也要在這次經歷中繼續保持專業的態度。

From the beginning, recognize that this is an imperfect dating situation. Asking a colleague out isn’t simply about two people getting together ― it almost always complicates the workplace dynamic, said S. Chris Edmonds, a human resources expert and founder of The Purposeful Culture Group.

從一開始，你就要意識到這是一個不完美的約會情境。請求同事約會不僅僅是兩個人在一起的事情——還總會加大職場的波動，Chris Edmonds表示。Edmonds是人力資源專家也是The Purposeful Culture Group的創始人。

“Luckily, some work relationships work out great,” Edmonds said. “I met the woman who became my wife at work and we’ve been married 38 years now. You just need to be diligent in keeping work separate from your outside relationship. PDA or arguing at work will only increase tension and discomfort by other team members and observers.”

“幸運的是，有的辦公室戀情確實可以修成正果。”Edmonds表示。“我在工作中遇到了一個女人，她成爲了我的妻子，現在我們在一起已經38年了。你們只需要努力地把工作從你們的關係中脫離開來。秀恩愛或者在工作的時候吵架只會加重其他團隊成員或旁觀者的緊張感和不安。”

Whatever happens, Edmonds recommends keeping your personal policy on interoffice romances as simple as possible.

不管發生了什麼事情，Edmonds建議把你的關於辦公室戀情的個人原則保持得越簡單越好。

“The overarching policy everyone in the office should embrace is ‘don’t taint the workplace,’” he said.

“每個人都應該遵守的總的原則就在於‘不要污染了工作場所’。”他建議。

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