雙語閱讀：怎樣成爲世界上最有吸引力的人
摘要:在這個喧鬧的世界，在職業中塑造個人品牌是必需的。我們經常和相同水平的對手競爭客戶、工作、升職、任務或者是贊助。更不用說在魅力和吸引力方面，有趣難忘能成爲對我們有利的關鍵因素。希望通過新技能和行爲方式提升自己的人可以學習下面這7個法則，它們會給你帶來成效。
How do you become the most interesting person in the world?
To be sure, I'm not referring to the silver fox from the Dos Equis beer commercials, who once ran a marathon just because it was on his way, whose organ donor card lists his beard and who speaks fluent French — in Russian.
怎樣才能成爲世界上最有吸引力的人?
要說明的是，我不是指雙X啤酒廣告裏那個頭髮花白的老男人。在廣告裏，因爲正好碰見，他就跑了一場馬拉松。他的器官捐贈卡上把鬍子也列在了其中。他還能講流利的法語——用俄語口音。
The bar doesn't have to be that high.
其實標準用不着定的這麼高。
怎樣成爲世界上最有吸引力的人
In a noisy world where personal branding is a professional imperative and where we constantly compete with equally qualified rivals for clients, jobs, promotions, assignments, or funding, not to mention admiration and affection, being just a little more interesting and memorable can be the deciding factor in our favor.
在這個喧鬧的世界，在職業中塑造個人品牌是必需的。我們經常和相同水平的對手競爭客戶、工作、升職、任務或者是贊助。更不用說在魅力和吸引力方面，有趣難忘能成爲對我們有利的關鍵因素。
The following list of seven rules should yield some promising results for those who want to up their game with some new skills and behaviors:
希望通過新技能和行爲方式提升自己的人可以學習下面這7個法則，它們會給你帶來成效。
1. Master conversational skills.
1.掌握對話技巧
The ability to converse is a key competency for successful client pitches, board room presentations, management meetings and the myriad hallway conversations that influence major business decisions. Skillful small talk and more substantive conversations can make anyone more interesting, provided one has something interesting to say.
客戶銷售、會議室展示、管理會議和走廊談話能夠影響重大商業決定，而對話能力是其成功的關鍵。有技巧的短對話和內容豐富的說話內容能讓人更有吸引力，前提是你得有些有趣的東西可說。
To get better at it, widen your interests and learn about anything from current events to local issues. Keeping conversations balanced by showing sincere interest in others is critical. A report in Psychological Science cites a study that shows that people who engage in deeper, more substantive conversation are happier than those who keep interactions superficial. Happy people are definitely more interesting than miserable ones.
要想在這方面做的更好，就要拓寬你的興趣，瞭解從當地話題到最新事件的一切。重要的是對他人表現出興趣來保持對話平衡。一份心理學報告中引用了一項研究，表明談話內容更深層、更具實質性的對話雙方比只是泛泛交談的人更快樂。快樂的人一定比憂鬱的人更有吸引力。
2. Learn to make a solid business case.
2.學會穩固生意
Occasionally we get lucky. We ask for something — resources, money, time, support — and we get it. But for the most part, the higher the stakes, the more scrutiny our requests are under. Entrepreneurs, managers, and executives who cannot make a solid business case, linking needs to strategic goals, detailing risks, opportunities, and projected ROI, based on research and analysis, are discounted by the decision-makers who can green-light a project.
有時我們很幸運。當我們要求某樣東西——資源、資金、時間、支持——我們輕易就得到了。但是大多時候，我們的要求會受到更仔細的核查。如果企業家、經理、主管通過研究和分析需求、戰略目標、具體風險、機會、投資回報率之後也不能保證經營穩固的話，他們在能夠決定項目是否通過的決策者心中的形象就會大打折扣。
By clearly showing value, telling a compelling business story and answering tough questions from stakeholders, we become valued players in a serious game.
通過清晰地展現出價值所在，講述一個扣人心絃的商業故事，解答股東們難纏的問題，我們就可以在這場嚴峻的比賽中成爲有價值的選手。
3. Cultivate a reputation of expertise.
3.培養專家的名聲
Experts are in demand. Turn on any television channel and you can watch a parade of authorities in various domains give their perspective on healthcare, airline security, the economy, and climate change, to name a few.
專家很受歡迎。打開任何一個電視頻道，你可以看到一羣不同領域的專家分別在健康管理、飛機安全、經濟、氣候變化等方面給出意見。
Particularly in times of uncertainty, we corner the experts to get answers and find out what can be done to either avoid loss of some sort or make gains. If you're more of a generalist, find ways to go deep into a subject matter that can benefit others, and share that information where needed.
尤其是在不穩定的時期，我們圍繞在專家周圍，希望從他們那裏得到答案，找到可以避免某些損失或者是收益的對策。如果你是個通才的話，試着在某個有利於他人的領域深入研究，必要的時候要共享信息。
A key is to make specialized information accessible and easy to understand. Otherwise, you'll notice eyes glazing over and confusion replacing curiosity.
關鍵是讓專業性的知識聽起來容易理解。不然，你可能會發現人們用困惑而不是好奇的眼神在上下打量你。
4. Resolve conflict and dispute between others.
4.解決他人之間的衝突和爭端
In a recent executive coaching survey, CEOs mentioned "conflict-management skills" as their top priority. Being able to help others resolve disputes and conflicting agendas is not just an asset in the C-suite, where leaders have to manage the expectations of a multitude of stakeholders. Even among friends, those who can keep a cool head and balance reason and emotion when arguments threaten to spiral into conflict and hostility, have the respect and admiration of their peers.
在最新的主管指導調查中，總裁把“矛盾解決能力”放在了首位。有能力幫助其他人解決爭端和衝突的日程表不僅僅是在最高管理層中有用，領導者要協調股東們的需求。甚至在朋友之間，那些在爭議將要發展成矛盾和敵意的時候仍可以保持冷靜，平衡理智和情感的人，能得到同伴的尊敬和敬仰。
5. Build relationships and connect with people.
5.和他人建立人際關係
Whether we are individual contributors, startup entrepreneurs or corporate leaders, we need the help of others to accomplish our goals. Being an interesting person helps in building and managing relationships, but the reverse is also true.
不管是個體工作者，創業企業家還是公司領導，我們都需要別人的幫助來完成目標。成爲一個有吸引力的人能幫助我們建立、管理人際關係，反過來也一樣。
If we actively engage others, by, for example, inviting someone to lunch, involving a co-worker in a project, asking for a favor, offering support, or sincerely inquiring how someone is doing, we not only become visible, we become relevant. That's the foundation of mutually gratifying relationships. Make it a goal to communicate authentically with others and become more interesting to them in the process.
如果我們積極和他人交往，比如邀請別人一起共進午餐，和同事在同個項目中一起工作，請求幫助，提供支持，或是真誠地問問別人在幹什麼，我們不僅僅會更有存在感，同樣會和他們有所關聯。這是建立令人滿意的人際關係的基礎。努力真誠與人交往，在過程中變得更有吸引力。
6. Engage in active listening.
6.積極傾聽
Aside from the fact that engaged listening makes us better informed about people and issues, giving someone our full and undivided attention can have a profound effect on their perception of us. Listening attentively is "giving" rather than "taking." Contrast this with the person who primarily keeps the focus on themselves and the difference becomes crystal clear.
積極傾聽除了能讓我們更好地瞭解人和事物，全神貫注傾聽某人能改觀我們在他們心中的印象。積極傾聽更多的是“給予”而不是“得到”。和這相對立的是那些把關注點首先放在自己身上的人。這其中差別十分明顯。
When we're listened to, we matter. Those who do most of the talking believe they matter. We become more interesting when we listen to others.
當別人傾聽我們的時候，我們是最重要的。大部分講話的人認爲他們是最重要的。如果我們能做到傾聽他人，我們會變得具有吸引力。
7. Live life and share experiences.
7.享受生命，分享經歷
Our experiences and what we choose to share are what make others take an interest in us. People often live vicariously through the adventures of their more socially active peers. It doesn't have to be running with the bulls in Barcelona — we easily become a little more interesting when we discuss experiences of enjoying a meal at an exotic new restaurant, learning a challenging skill like waterskiing or attending opening night at the museum.
我們選擇分享的經歷和其他內容是能讓人感興趣的東西。人們通常對社交中更爲活躍的同伴的冒險經歷感同身受。用不着在巴塞羅那參加過奔牛節——我們只要談一談關於在一家異國風味的新餐廳的享受過的美食，學習像滑水撬這樣的技巧，或者是參加博物館的開放夜的經歷，就能很容易讓自己變得更吸引力。
Standing out in a positive way has wide-ranging benefits. These rules are merely a starting point as we manage ourselves to become the most interesting person in the world.
積極生活能帶來很多好處。要想變成世界上最具吸引力的人，這些建議只是一個開始。
十分在意他們自己身體的吸引力
We’ve talked about human attraction between men and women in the past here and here. Previous researchers argued that what women value depended on the type of relationship they were looking for. Women looking for long-term partners want someone who will be a good provider for them and their children, but women seeking short-term flings care more about masculinity and physical attractiveness, features that may be passed down to children.
不管是過去還是現在，我們都談論着關於男人和女人相互之間吸引的事。早先的研究者認爲女性的價值觀和她們所要尋找類型的關係有關。如果女性尋找的是長期的另一半，就會要求對方對她們和她們的孩子是一個很好的供給者;但假使女性尋求的只是短期的另一半，可能更關心男性的陽剛之氣和外貌以及能夠傳遞給下一代的特徵。
New research, however, has identified four categories of characteristics women seek in a partner:
* Good genes, reflected in desirable physical traits
Women look for attractiveness because it means the person has “good genes” (whether or not they actually do).
* Resources
Who doesn’t like a person with good resources — a home, money, a stable good-paying job — that can help provide for them and future children?
* The desire to have children and good parenting skills
This, of course, only applies to women who are actually looking to have children (or more children).
* Loyalty and devotion
Not much point in getting involved in a relationship if the person you’re interested in being involved with isn’t able to be loyal and committed to you.
然而新研究已經確定了女性尋找另一半的四個特徵分類：
1.良好的基因，這反映在理想的身體特徵
因爲這意味着該人已具備“良好的基因”，從而吸引着女性(不管他們是否真的具有)。
2.資源
誰會不喜歡和一個有豐富資源(良好的家庭，有錢，一個穩定高薪的工作)，能夠供給她們和未來的孩子所需的人呢?
3.希望有子女和良好的爲人父母的技巧
當然，這僅適用於想要孩子的女性(或要更多的孩子)。
4. 忠誠和奉獻精神
如果一個人不能夠忠誠和承諾與你，很少會有人和他在一起。
Most women attempt to secure the best combination of the qualities they desire from the same man. A small portion of women who do not find a partner with all the qualities may trade some characteristics for others.
We don’t think any of this is rocket science or particularly new. Although women’s selectivity across categories reflected how attractive they appeared to other people, the researchers found the characteristics men desired in a partner did not vary based on their own physical attractiveness.
我們不認爲這是一個突破性的特別新研究。儘管女性的選擇是依據這四個分類來希望其他人來吸引她，但是研究者發現具有這些理想特徵的男性並不十分在意他們自己身體的吸引力。
