認真談戀愛前,自問這十個關鍵問題

It doesn't sound like the most romantic of activities. But every couple should apparently pull out a pen and answer ten 'critical' questions before embarking on a serious relationship. The questions, compiled by a panel of divorce experts, include whether couples have a 'strong basis' of friendship and whether they ultimately want the same things in life.

聽起來，這不像是浪漫的活動。但認真談戀愛前，每對情侶都應該拿出筆來回答這十個關鍵問題。離婚專家小組編寫了這些問題，包括情侶是否有很深的友誼基礎，他們最終的生活目標是否一致。

They should also ask themselves whether they are a 'good fit', if they have realistic expectations of their relationship, and if they can raise issues with one another and pull through in stressful times. The 10 questions couples must answer:

他們還應該問問自己是否真的合適，是否對這段戀情有真正的期盼，是否會向另一半提出問題並共度緊張時期。情侶必須回答以下這10個問題。

Are my partner and I a 'good fit'?

我和另一半是否'真的合適'？

Do we have a strong basis of friendship?

我們是否有很深的友誼基礎？

Do we see the best in each other?

我們是否能看到對方最美好的一面？

Are our expectations realistic?

我們的期望現實嗎？

Do we want the same things in our relationship and out of life?

關於戀情和生活，我們想要的是否一致？

Can we raise issues with each other?

我們是否可以向對方提出問題？

Do we keep our relationship vibrant?

我們的戀情是否充滿活力？

Are we both committed to working through hard times?

我們是否願意共度難關？

Would we pull together to get through stressful circumstances?

我們會不會齊心協力地解決壓力？

Do we each have supportive others around us?

我們身邊是否有支持我們的人？

The list, which is part of a study by the University of Exeter, was put together by two judges and ten divorce lawyers or mediators. These included Baroness Shackleton, who is thought to be Britain's highest-paid divorce lawyer with Prince Charles and Paul McCartney among her clients.

這條清單是埃克塞特大學研究的一部分，由兩位法官和十位離婚律師或調解員編寫所得。男爵夫人沙克爾頓是其中一員，她被認爲是英國收入最高的離婚律師，查爾斯王子和保羅·麥卡特尼都是她的客戶。

The panel compiled the questions based on interviews with experts and both happily married couples and separated ones. Baroness Shackleton said: 'as a divorce lawyer for over 40 years, more than 50 per cent of the people consulting me about divorce have said they realised either before or very soon into their marriages that they were fundamentally incompatible.'

基於與客戶的會談（既有婚姻幸福的夫婦，也有離婚夫婦），該專家小組編寫了這些問題。男爵夫人沙克爾頓說道："作爲一名從業40多年的離婚律師，一半以上諮詢離婚的人士都說過，他們在婚前或結婚不久後意識到：其實他們並不合適。"

'As a former school governor, I am acutely aware that while there is much school education on sex, drugs and alcohol, there is little or none in relation to the most important decision a person makes - namely with whom you settle down and have children.'

"我之前擔任一所學校的校長，我清楚的意識到，雖然學校關於性、毒品和酒精的教育知識很多，但關於人們做最爲重要的決定的教育卻寥寥無幾或者根本沒有--也就是你選擇誰來共度餘生、撫養孩子。"