He accepted another pint and took a pull at it. Of course, I had my own personal alchemist too. You what? He was getting silly and he knew it. Exuberance and Hall and Woodhouse best bitter was a mixture to be wary of, but one of the first effects it had is to stop you being wary of things, and the point at which Arthur should have stopped and explained no more was the point at which he started instead to get inventive. Oh yes, he insisted with a happy glazed smile. It’s why I’ve lost so much weight. What? said his audience. Oh yes, he said again. The Californians have rediscovered alchemy. Oh yes. He smiled again. Only, he said, it’s in a much more useful form than that which in… He paused thoughtfully to let a little grammar assemble in his head. In which the ancients used to practise it. Or at least, he added, failed to practise it. They couldn’t get it to work you know. Nostradamus and that lot. Couldn’t cut it. Nostradamus? said one of his audience. I didn’t think he was an alchemist, said another. I thought, said a third, he was a seer. He became a seer, said Arthur to his audience, the component parts of which were beginning to bob and blur a little, because he was such a lousy alchemist. You should know that. He took another pull at his beer. It was something he had not tasted for eight years. He tasted it and tasted it. What has alchemy got to do, asked a bit of the audience, with losing weight? I’m glad you asked that, said Arthur. Very glad. And I will now tell you what the connection is between… He paused. Between those two things. The things you mentioned. I’ll tell you. He paused and manoeuvred his thoughts. It was like watching oil tankers doing three-point turns in the English Channel. They’ve discovered how to turn excess body fat into gold, he said, in a sudden blur of coherence. You’re kidding. 他又接受了一品脫酒，一飲而盡。 “當然啦，我也有過自己的私人煉金術士。” “你什麼？” 他開始醉了而且他心裏清楚這點。“易博蘭斯”、“霍爾”和“伍德豪斯”最好的苦啤酒是需要警惕的東西，但這些東西的一個首要效果就是讓你放鬆警惕，當阿瑟本應該停下來不再解釋的時候，他卻開始富有創作慾望了。 “哦，是的，”他堅持着，露出開心圓滑的微笑。“所以我減了那麼多體重。” “啥？”他的聽衆們說。 “哦，是的，”他再一次說到。“加利福尼亞州重新發掘了鍊金術。哦，是的。” 他再一次微笑。 “只有，”他說，“它處在一種更爲有用的形式下相較於……”他意味深長地停頓了一下，試着組織一下頭腦中的語法。“比古人的做法要有效。至少，”他補充道，“古人失敗的嘗試了。他們沒法讓鍊金術成功你們知道的。諾查丹瑪斯以及好多人。搞不定。” “諾查丹瑪斯？”他的一個聽衆說。 “我不認爲他是個煉金術士，”另一人說。 “我覺着，”第三個人發言，“他是個預言家。” “他是後來成爲了預言家，”阿瑟對聽衆說，聽衆開始躁動，“因爲他是個如此噁心的煉金術士。你們應該知道。” 他又幹了一口他的啤酒。這是他八年沒嘗過的東西了。他不停地喝啊喝。 “煉金術士要做什麼事啊，”一些聽衆問，“就是幫人減肥？” “我很欣慰你問到了這點，”阿瑟說。“非常欣慰。我現在會告訴你之間的聯繫……”他停頓了。“關於這兩樣東西之間的聯繫。你剛提到的東西。我會告訴你。” 他停了一下，開始組織自己的思緒。這就好像看着油罐車在英吉利海峽裏做三點轉向（注）。 “他們發現了將人體多餘脂肪變成黃金的方法，”他突然含糊地說。 “你搞笑呢吧。”
