殘忍而美麗的情誼:The Kite Runner 追風箏的人(92)

“No burden at all. More importantly, do you need anything?” General Taheri said. “Anything at all? Ask me like you’d ask a brother.”
I remembered something Baba had said about Pashtuns once. We may be hardheaded and I know we’re far too proud, but, in the hour of need, believe me that there’s no one you’d rather have at your side than a Pashtun.
Baba shook his head on the pillow. “Your coming here has brightened my eyes.” The general smiled and squeezed Baba’s hand. “How are you, Amir jan? Do you need anything?”
The way he was looking at me, the kindness in his eyes... “Nay thank you, General Sahib. I’m...“ A lump shot up in my throat and my eyes teared over. I bolted out of the room.
I wept in the hallway, by the viewing box where, the night before, I’d seen the killer’s face.
Baba’s door opened and Soraya walked out of his room. She stood near me. She was wearing a gray sweatshirt and jeans. Her hair was down. I wanted to find comfort in her arms.
“I’m so sorry, Amir,” she said. “We all knew something was wrong, but we had no idea it was this.”
I blotted my eyes with my sleeve. “He didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No.” I tried to smile. She put her hand on mine. Our first touch. I took it. Brought it to my face. My eyes. I let it go. “You’d better go back inside. Or your father will come after me.”
She smiled and nodded. “I should.” She turned to go. “Soraya?”
“Yes?”
“I’m happy you came, It means... the world to me.”
THEY DISCHARGED BABA two days later. They brought in a specialist called a radiation oncologist to talk Baba into getting radiation treatment. Baba refused. They tried to talk me into talking him into it. But I’d seen the look on Baba’s face. I thanked them, signed their forms, and took Baba home in my Ford Torino.
That night, Baba was lying on the couch, a wool blanket covering him. I brought him hot tea and roasted almonds. Wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him up much too easily. His shoulder blade felt like a bird’s wing under my fingers. I pulled the blanket back up to his chest where ribs stretched his thin, sallow skin.
“Can I do anything else for you, Baba?”
“Nay, bachem. Thank you.”
I sat beside him. “Then I wonder if you’ll do something for me. If you’re not too exhausted.”
“What?”
“I want you to go khastegari. I want you to ask General Taheri for his daughter’s hand.”
Baba’s dry lips stretched into a smile. A spot of green on a wilted leaf. “Are you sure?”
“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything.”
“You’ve thought it over?”
“Balay, Baba.”
“Then give me the phone. And my little notebook.”
I blinked. “Now?”
“Then when?”

“一點都不麻煩。更重要的是，你需要什麼嗎?”塔赫裏將軍說，“什麼都行，請把我當成你的兄弟。”
我記得有一次爸爸跟我說起普什圖人的事情。我們也許頭腦頑固，我知道我們太過驕傲，可是，在危難的時刻，相信我，你會寧願在身邊的是普什圖人。
爸爸在枕上搖搖頭:“你能到這裏來已經叫我很高興了。”將軍臉現微笑，捏捏爸爸的手。“你怎麼樣?親愛的阿米爾?你需要什麼東西嗎?”
他竟然那樣看着我，眼中充滿慈愛……“不，謝謝，將軍大人。我……”我喉嚨一哽，淚水止不住掉下來，衝出病房。
我站在走廊的燈箱邊上哭泣，就在那兒，前一天晚上，我看到了兇手的真面目。
爸爸的門開了，索拉雅從他的病房走出來。她站在我身邊，穿着灰色的長衫和牛仔褲。她的頭髮傾瀉而下。我想在她懷裏尋求安慰。
“我很抱歉，阿米爾。”她說，“我們大家都知道事情很糟糕，但卻拿不出什麼主意。”
我用衣袖擦擦眼睛，“他不想讓任何人知道。”
“你需要什麼嗎?”
“不。”我擠出微笑。她把手放在我的手上。這是我們第一次碰觸。我捧起她的手，拉到我的臉上，眼睛上，然後任她抽走。“你最好還是回到裏面去，不然你爸爸會出來找的。”
她笑着點點頭，“那我回去。”她轉身離開。“索拉雅?”
“怎麼啦?”
“我很高興你來了。這對我……意味着一切。”
隔了兩天，他們讓爸爸出院。他們請來一位放射線腫瘤學專家，遊說爸爸接受放射線治療。爸爸拒絕了。他們試圖讓我也加入到遊說的行列中去。但我見到爸爸臉上的表情，對他們表達謝意，在他們的表格上簽名，用那輛福特都靈將爸爸帶回家。
那晚爸爸躺在沙發上，身上蓋着一條羊毛毯。我給他端來熱紅茶和烤杏仁，把手伸在他背後，輕而易舉地將他扶上來。他的肩側在我手中感覺就像鳥兒的翅膀。我把毛毯拉到他的胸膛上，那兒瘦骨嶙峋，膚色很差。
“需要我爲你做些什麼嗎，爸爸?”
“不用，我的孩子，謝謝你。”
我坐在他身旁:“我想你能不能替我辦點事情，如果你身體還撐得過去的話。”
“什麼事?”
“我想你幫我提親，我想你到塔赫裏將軍家裏去，向他提親。”
爸爸的幹嘴脣綻放出微笑，宛如枯萎的樹葉上的一點綠色。“你想好了嗎?”
“我從來沒有這麼清楚過。”
“你仔細考慮了嗎?”
“當然，爸爸。”
“那把電話給我，還有我那本小筆記本。”
我眨眨眼:“現在?”
“不然還等什麼時候?”