經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第1章2

A tall figure appeared silhouetted in the hatchway. It walked down the ramp and stood in front of Arthur.
You’re a jerk, Dent, it said simply.
It was alien, very alien. It had a peculiar alien tallness, a peculiar alien flattened head, peculiar slitty little alien eyes, extravagantly draped golden ropes with a peculiarly alien collar design, and pale grey-green alien skin which had about it that lustrous shine which most grey-green faces can only acquire with plenty of exercise and very expensive soap.
Arthur boggled at it.
It gazed levelly at him.
Arthur’s first sensations of hope and trepidation had instantly been overwhelmed by astonishment, and all sorts of thoughts were battling for the use of his vocal chords at this moment.
Whh?… he said.
Bu… hu… uh… he added.
Ru… ra… wah… who? he managed finally to say and lapsed into a frantic kind of silence. He was feeling the effects of having not said anything to anybody for as long as he could remember.
The alien creature frowned briefly and consulted what appeared to be some species of clipboard which he was holding in his thin and spindly alien hand.
Arthur Dent? it said.
Arthur nodded helplessly.
Arthur Philip Dent? pursued the alien in a kind of efficient yap.
Er… er… yes… er… er, confirmed Arthur.
You’re a jerk, repeated the alien, a complete asshole.
Er…
The creature nodded to itself, made a peculiar alien tick on its clipboard and turned briskly back towards the ship.
Er… said Arthur desperately, er…

一個高高的身形，像剪影一般，出現在艙門口。它從舷梯走下，站在了阿瑟面前。
“你是個蠢貨，鄧特。”它冒出這麼一句。
這是個外星人，非常外星。它有着外星人式的身高，外星人式的扁平腦袋，外星人式的狹縫般的小眼睛，外星人式的鬆垮而誇張的金色袍子，還有外星人式的衣領樣式，外星人式的灰綠中帶着蒼白的皮膚。對於很多灰綠色物種來說，如此光彩照人的皮膚，必須通過大量的運動、並且使用昂貴的香皂才能得到。
阿瑟呆住了。
它冷冷地盯着他。
阿瑟最初的希望和悸懼，頓時被震驚所壓倒。此時他所有的思維都致力於使用發音器官了。
“蛇？……”他說
“不……呼……無……”他接着說。
“入……鵝……移……誰？”他終於說來，而後又陷入極度的安靜。他現在算是感覺到了，這麼長時間以來、不和任何人說一句話的後果。
那個外星生物皺了一下眉，然後用他那枯瘦纖細的外星手，翻了翻手裏一個文件夾似的東西。
“阿瑟·鄧特？”它問。
阿瑟無助地點點頭。
“阿瑟·菲利普·鄧特？”外星人清晰簡明地追問道。
“嗯……嗯……是……嗯……嗯，”阿瑟答道。
“你是個蠢貨，”外星人重複道，“十足的混蛋。”
“嗯……”
那個生物自己點了點頭，在它的文件夾上做了個外星式的記號，然後輕快地轉身向飛船走去。
“嗯……”阿瑟絕望地說着，“嗯……”