諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第1章Part 32

"Oh, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Someday you.be walking down the road and you hear something or seesomething going on. So clear. And you think it's you thinking it up. A thought picture. But no. It'swhen you bump into a rememory that belongs to somebody e I was before I came here, that place is real. It's never going away. Even if the whole farm— every tree and grass blade of it dies. The picture is still there and what's more, if you go there— you who never was there — if you go there and stand in the place where it was, it will happenagain; it will be there for you, waiting for you. So, Denver, you can't never go there. Never. Because even though it's all over — over and done with — it's going to always be there waiting foryou. That's how come I had to get all my children out. No matter what."Denver picked at her fingernails.
"If it's still there, waiting, that must mean that nothing ever dies."Sethe looked right in Denver's face. "Nothing ever does," she said.
"You never told me all what happened. Just that they whipped you and you run off, pregnant. Withme."
"Nothing to tell except schoolteacher. He was a little man. ys wore a collar, even in the fields. A schoolteacher, she said.
That made her feel good that her husband's sister's husband had book learning and was willing tocome farm Sweet Home after Mr.
Garner passed. The men could have done it, even with Paul F sold.
But it was like Halle said. She didn't want to be the only white person on the farm and a womantoo. So she was satisfied when the schoolteacher agreed to come. He brought two boys with him.
Sons or nephews. I don't know. They called him Onka and had pretty manners, all of em. Talkedsoft and spit in handkerchiefs. Gentle in a lot of ways. You know, the kind who know Jesus by Hisfirst name, but out of politeness never use it even to His face. A pretty good farmer, Halle said. Notstrong as Mr. Garner but smart enough. He liked the ink I made. It was her recipe, but he preferredhow I mixed it and it was important to him because at night he sat down to write in his book. Itwas a book about us but we didn't know that right away. We just thought it was his manner to askus questions. He commenced to carry round a notebook and write down what we said. I still thinkit was them questions that tore Sixo up. Tore him up for all time."She stopped.

“噢，是的。噢，是的是的是的。哪天你走在路上，你會聽到、看到一些事情。清楚極了。讓你覺得是你自己編出來的。一幅想象的畫。可是不然。那是你撞進了別人的重現的記憶。我來這兒之前待過的地方，那個地點是真的。它永遠不會消失。哪怕整個農莊———它的一草一木———都死光，那幅畫依然存在；更要命的是，如果你去了那裏———你從來沒去過———如果你去了那裏，站在它存在過的地方，它還會重來一遍；它會爲你在那裏出現，等着你。所以，丹芙，你永遠不能去那兒。永遠不能。因爲雖然一切都過去了———過去了，結束了———它還將永遠在那裏等着你。那就是爲什麼我必須把我的孩子們全都弄出來。千方百計。”丹芙摳着指甲。
“要是它還在那兒等着，那就是說什麼都不死。”塞絲直盯着丹芙的臉。“什麼都不死。”她說。
“你從來沒有原原本本給我講過一遍。只講過他們拿鞭子抽你，你就逃跑了，懷着身孕。懷着我。”
“除了‘學校老師’沒什麼好講的。他是個小個子。很矮。總戴着硬領，在田裏也不例外。是個學校老師，她說。
她丈夫的妹夫念過書，而且在加納先生去世後願意來經營‘甜蜜之家’，這讓她感覺良好。
本來農莊裏的男人們能管好它，儘管保羅·F被賣掉了。
但是正像黑爾說的，她不願意做農莊上唯一的白人，又是個女人。所以‘學校老師’同意來的時候她很滿意。他帶了兩個小子來。
不是兒子就是侄子。我不清楚。他們叫他叔叔。舉止講究，仨人都是。輕聲說話，痰吐在手絹裏。在好多方面都很紳士。你知道，是那種知道耶穌小名，可出於禮貌，就是當着他的面也絕不叫出來的人。一個挺不錯的農莊主，黑爾說。沒有加納先生那麼壯實，可是夠聰明的。他喜歡我做的墨水。那是她的製法，但他更喜歡我攪拌的；這對他很重要，因爲晚上他要坐下來寫他的書。是本關於我們的書，可是我們當時並不知道。我們只想到，他問我們問題是出於習慣。他由帶着筆記本到處走、記下我們說的話入手。我一直覺得是那些問題把西克索給毀了。永遠地毀了。”她打住了。