殘忍而美麗的情誼:The Kite Runner 追風箏的人(15)
Later that night, I was passing by my father's study when I overheard him speaking to Rahim Khan. I pressed my ear to the closed door.
"-grateful that he's healthy," Rahim Khan was saying.
"……謝天謝地，他身體健康。"拉辛汗說。"I know, I know. But he's always buried in those books or shuffling around the house like he's lost in some dream."
"我知道，我知道，可他總是埋在書堆裏，要不就在家裏晃晃悠悠，好像夢遊一般。"
"And?"
"那又怎樣?""I wasn't like that." Baba sounded frustrated, almost angry.
"我可不是這個樣子。"爸爸喪氣地說，聲音中還有些憤怒。Rahim Khan laughed. "Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."
拉辛汗笑起來。"孩子又不是圖畫練習冊，你不能光顧着要塗上自己喜歡的色彩。""I'm telling you,"Baba said, "I wasn't like that at all, and neither were any of the kids I grew up with."
"我是說，"爸爸說,"我根本不是那個樣子的。跟我一起長大的孩子也沒有像他那樣的。""You know, sometimes you are the most self-centered man I know," Rahim Khan said. He was the only person I knew who could get away with saying something like that to Baba.
"你知道，有時你是我認識的人中最自以爲是的了。"拉辛汗說。在我認識的人中，只有他敢這麼跟爸爸說話。"It has nothing to do with that."
"跟這個沒有任何關係。""Nay?"
"沒有嗎?""Nay."
"沒有。""Then what?"
"那跟什麼有關係?"I heard the leather of Baba's seat creaking as he shifted on it. I closed my eyes, pressed my ear even harder against the door, wanting to hear, not wanting to hear. "Sometimes I look out this window and I see him playing on the street with the neighborhood boys. I see how they push him around, take his toys from him, give him a shove here, a whack there. And, you know, he never fights back. Never. He just... drops his head and..."
我聽到爸爸挪動身子，皮椅吱吱作響。我合上雙眼，耳朵更加緊貼着門板，又想聽，又不想聽。"有時我從這扇窗望出去，我看到他跟鄰居的孩子在街上玩。我看到他們推搡他，拿走他的玩具，在這兒推他一下，在那兒打他一下。你知道，他從不反擊，從不。他只是……低下頭，然後……""So he's not violent,"Rahim Khan said.
"這說明他並不暴戾。"拉辛汗說。"That's not what I mean, Rahim, and you know it,"Baba shot back. "There is something missing in that boy."
"我不是這個意思，拉辛，你知道的。"爸爸朝他嚷着,"這孩子身上缺了某些東西。""Yes, a mean streak."
"是的，缺了卑劣的性格。""Self-defense has nothing to do with meanness. You know what always happens when the neighborhood boys tease him? Hassan steps in and fends them off. I've seen it with my own eyes. And when they come Home, I say to him,‘How did Hassan get that scrape on his face?’And he says, ‘He fell down.’I'm telling you, Rahim, there is something missing in that boy."
"自我防衛跟卑劣毫不搭邊。你知道事情總是怎麼樣的嗎?每當那些鄰居的孩子欺負他，總是哈桑挺身而出，將他們擋回去。這是我親眼見到的。他們回家之後，我問他,'哈桑臉上的傷痕是怎麼回事?'他說:'他摔了一跤。'我跟你說，拉辛，這孩子身上缺了某些東西。""You just need to let him find his way,"Rahim Khan said.
"你只消讓他找到自己的路。"拉辛汗說。"And where is he headed?"Baba said. "A boy who won't stand up for himself becomes a man who can't stand up to anything."
"可是他要走去哪裏呢?"爸爸說，"一個不能保護自己的男孩，長大之後什麼東西都保護不了。""As usual you're oversimplifying."
"你總是將問題過度簡化了。""I don't think so."
"我認爲不是的。""You're angry because you're afraid he'll never take over the Business for you."
"你生氣，是因爲你害怕他不會接管你的生意。""Now who's oversimplifying?"Baba said. "Look, I know there's a fondness between you and him and I'm happy about that. Envious, but happy. I mean that. He needs someone rstands him, because God knows I don't. But something about Amir troubles me in a way that I can't express. It's like..."I could see him searching, reaching for the right words. He lowered his voice, but I heard him anyway. "If I hadn't seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I'd never believe he's my son."
"現在誰在簡化問題?"爸爸說，"看吧，我知道你跟他關係很好，這我很高興。我是說，我有些妒忌，但很高興。他需要有人……有人能理解他，因爲真主知道我理解不了。可是阿米爾身上有些東西讓我很煩惱，我又說不清楚，它像是……"我能猜到他在尋覓，在搜尋一個恰當的字眼。他放低了聲音，但終究還是讓我聽到了。"要不是我親眼看着大夫把他從我老婆肚子里拉出來，我肯定不相信他是我的兒子。"THE NEXT MORNING, as he was preparing my breakfast, Hassan asked if something was bothering me. I snapped at him, told him to mind his own Business.
次日清晨，哈桑在替我準備早餐，他問我是不是有什麼煩心的事情。我朝他大吼，叫他別多管閒事。Rahim Khan had been wrong about the mean streak thing.
至於那卑劣的性格，拉辛汗錯了。
