英語短篇笑話
本站小編給大家帶來了英語短篇笑話，讓你開心快樂每一天!
英語短篇笑話篇一：Boss's idea
When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."
由於我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說我的打印機也許只是需要清理一下。
他還說，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費，讓我最好看看使用手冊自己試着清理。
當時我真的被他的話感動了，就問他：“你們老闆知道你這樣拒絕生意麼?”
“事實上，這就是我們老闆的主意，”僱員答道：“因爲如果我們讓用戶先自行修理打印機的話就能掙更多的錢。”
英語短篇笑話篇二：Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.
The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."
Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"
每個星期天牧師都會把孩子們叫到教堂前面，然後給他們講一個故事。一天，他爲了更好地闡述祈禱的含義，帶來了一臺電話機。
“你們和別人在電話裏交談，並沒有看到電話線另一端的人，對嗎?”他開始問道。孩子們點頭稱是。“好的，和上帝交談就象通過電話交談一樣。他就在另一端，雖然你看不見他，但是他正在聆聽你的心聲。”
就在這時，一個小男孩尖着嗓子問道：“那他的電話號碼是什麼?”
英語短篇笑話篇三：The Name of a Poet
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today. It works like this, she said. Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poetRobert Burns, for instance. She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns. Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman, a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns! I see what you mean, said the class know it all. But how can you tell that it's Not Robert Browning?
我們的老師正在給我們介紹現在某些學校使用的一種新的記憶訓練系統。這個系統是這樣的，她說，假定你要記住一個詩人的名字，例如，要記住羅伯特·彭斯的名字。她告訴我們把他當作博比·彭斯，讓你的腦海裏閃現出一個倫敦警察的形象，燃燒着的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒! 我明白你的意思，班上的萬事通說，但是你怎麼能說那就不是羅伯特·布朗寧呢?
英語短篇笑話篇四：Three Turtles 三隻烏龜
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my coffee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
三隻烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。於是最大的那隻烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“回家去取傘吧。”
最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我們不喝，”另外兩隻烏龜答應說。
兩年後，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”
英語短篇笑話篇五：
The librarian went over to a small, noisy boy. "Please be quiet!" she warned. "The people around you can't read!"
圖書管理員走到一個喧鬧的小男孩身邊，警告說：“請安靜!你周圍的人都不能讀書了!”
"They can't?" The boy asked curiously. "Then what are they doing here?"
“不能讀書?”小男孩好奇地問道。“那他們在這裏幹什麼?”
英語短篇笑話篇六：
Guest:"Bub, do you go to school?"
客人：“小傢伙，你上學了嗎?”
boy:"What good shall I go to school? I can't read or write?"
孩子：“我上學有什麼好處?我不會讀，也不會寫。”
英語短篇笑話篇七：
betty:"Black hens are cleverer than white ones, aren't they?"
貝蒂：“黑母雞比白母雞聰明，對嗎?”
Larry:"How do you know?"
拉里：“你怎麼知道?”
Betty:"Well, the black hens can lay white eggs, but the white hens can't lay black ones."
貝蒂：“嗯，因爲黑母雞能下白蛋，可白母雞不能下黑蛋。”
英語短篇笑話篇八：
Bobby:"Billy broke my new doll!"
博比：“比利弄壞了我的新洋娃娃!”
Mum:"How did he do that?"
媽媽：“他是怎麼弄壞的?”
Bobby:"I hit him over the head with it."
博比：“我用洋娃娃打了他的頭。”
英語短篇笑話篇九：
"I wish I'd lived in the old times."
“我要是生活在古代就好了。”
"Why?"
“爲什麼?”
"Because there wouldn't be so much history to learn."
“因爲那就不會有這麼多歷史要學了。”
