致女人:婚前這些道理你該懂
YOU CAN'T CHANGE A GUY
You may be able to make improvements to whomever you're with, but you won't be able to change him – as hard as you might try or as much as you might want to. It can be very tempting to believe you can take someone who you like – to a point – and turn him into the man of your dreams. Don't believe it. If you don't fully accept him now, as he is, you won't be able to magically make him into someone different just by marrying or moving in with him. Think long and hard before you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone – or even just agreeing to share an apartment, because if you aren't totally happy with who they are and what they're about, you're setting yourself up for a relationship roller coaster that will have you feeling frustrated in no time.
你不可能改變一個人
你可以把和你在一起的那個人變好，但你不能改變他，儘管你可能嘗試過或者多麼想改變。很容易相信你可以一點點改變你喜歡的人——從而把他變成你的夢中情人。別相信。如果你現在不完全接受他，他就是他，你不可能通過和他結婚或同居就神奇地把他變成另外一個人。在你承諾一生與其相伴，甚至只是同意共享一個公寓之前要深思熟慮，因爲如果你不完全滿意他們本身以及與之相關的事，你正將自己置身於一段不時感到沮喪的過山車般的戀情中。
CHEMISTRY CAN'T BE MANUFACTURED
What starts off as a hot and heavy romance could end up feeling less-than-passionate within a year. Sometimes this just means you need to retool your approach to romance and try new things when it comes to sex, but other times it means whatever you had is over. You might still think he's nice and fun to be around, but if the chemistry is truly gone, it's not likely to come rushing back any time soon, and you can't force it. Moving forward with a guy you no longer feel any kind of spark with is a bad idea. You'll be leading him on and risking spending time with a person you're no longer into.
產生不了化學反應
引燃一段火熱戀情的東西最終可能因一年之內感覺不到激情而終結。有時這就意味着你需要給浪漫另尋出路，當涉及性時嘗試新事物，但其他時候這意味着無論你擁有過什麼都已經結束了。你可能還認爲他在你身邊時人好又幽默，但如果化學反應消失，不太可能很快重回正軌，你不能強求。與一個你不再擦出任何火花的傢伙繼續下去是一個壞主意。你會給他錯覺，並冒着風險將時間浪費在你不再喜歡的人身上。
YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
We know you've heard it before and you're going to hear it again – that in order to really have a successful, meaningful relationship with someone else, you have to love yourself first. It may sound like something out of a self-help book, but trust us – it's true. If you don't love and respect yourself, then how can you expect someone else to do it? The happier you are with who you are, the easier it will be to attract someone who is worthy of your love and who will treat you well.
你首先得愛自己
我們知道你以前聽過這句話，你會再去聽一遍——爲了和別人真正擁有一段成功的有意義的戀情，首先得愛自己。這聽起來像是出自一本自助書，但是請相信我們，這是真的。如果你不愛惜尊重自己，那麼你怎麼能期望別人這樣做呢？你越是因自身而快樂，就越容易吸引那些值得你愛並好好待你的人。
GO WITH YOUR GUT – IT'S USUALLY RIGHT
The most important lesson you can learn before you settle down is to listen to yourself. It's OK to ask for advice and get other people's input, but ultimately you're the only one who knows what's best for you. If you're in a relationship that's progressing quickly and something doesn't feel right, don't ignore those feelings. You don't have to make any rash decisions, but you should also take any doubts that come up seriously. And if you are having doubts about where the relationship is going, you need to address them. Think seriously about whether or not you're happy and if you're not, it may be time to move on.
跟着直覺走——這通常是正確的
在你安定下來之前你可以學習的最重要功課是傾聽自己。可以尋求建議以及得到他人指導，但最終你是那個唯一知道什麼對你最好的人。如果你處在一段進展很快的關係中，有點不大對勁，不要忽略那些感覺。你不需要做任何魯莽的決定，但你也應該嚴肅對待出現的任何懷疑。如果你對這段關係的走向有疑問，你需要提出來。認真思考你是否快樂，如果你不是，也許是時候離開了。
