回憶童年! 十大蠢萌的神奇寶貝(下)

pass

5.朝北鼻

Nosepass looks like someone glued big, false nose onto a lump of granite and then tried to hit it with a car. It's so angular and dumb looking, if you squint hard enough you could realistically mistake it for a potato cos-playing as Johnny Depp.

朝北鼻像是個粘着巨型假鼻子的花崗岩人，分分鐘要以鼻撞車的樣子。它看上去又笨又蠢，如果你使勁斜眼看它，你可能會真的誤以爲那是一個土豆在Cos約翰尼·德普。

According to its official Pokedex entries, Nosespass's, well, nose functions almost identically to a compass and can often be found pointing due north unless someone has farted in that general direction fairly recently. Far from being something someone pulled out of their ass, this trait is based on something called the ethmoid bone. Found between the skull and nasal cavity, in birds the ethmoid bone is said to be linked to their ability to sense the earth's magnetic field. Although humans also possess an ethmoid bone, we can't use it to sense magnetic fields or even to ruin credit cards. That explains why Nosepass has such a huge, oversized nose to make up for the fact if it had normal, human proportions it wouldn't be able to sense magnetic fields or stick iron filings to its face.

官方的神奇寶貝條目上寫着，朝北鼻鼻子的功能和指南針差不多，如果沒有人在附近放屁的話鼻子還可以辨別北方。朝北鼻的這一技能靈感來源纔不是從人屁股裏排出的什麼東西！而是基於一種叫做篩骨的東西。篩骨在顱骨和鼻腔之間，據說鳥類的篩骨與它們所具有的地球磁場感知能力相關。儘管人類也有篩骨，但我們無法用它來感知磁場或甚至是干擾信用卡的使用。這就說明了爲什麼朝北鼻的鼻子那麼巨大了：如果朝北鼻長着和人類比例一樣的普通鼻子，它就不能感知磁場或是吸引鐵塊了。

ki

4.鑰圈兒

Klefki is a bunch of keys. There's probably a much funnier way we could word that, but we didn't know how we could make fun of a Pokemon that already looks exactly like something we have nestled in our pockets two inches to the left of our nuts. We're actually going to stop talking about this thing just because we're that intrigued about what in the hell a "set of keys" that is also somehow a fairy could be based on that would make it so cool.

鑰圈兒其實就是串鑰匙。或許我們能找個更好玩的說法描述它，但是這太爲難人了！明明看起來就像是裝在口袋裏面的、離小雞雞隻有兩英寸遠的玩意兒，怎麼可能配得出有趣的解說！實際上這個話題說到這兒就夠了，我們實在是太好奇究竟這外形就是"一串鑰匙"的精靈的靈感源於何物，因爲這想法真是太酷了。

A pagan tradition of blaming faeries for your problems. More specifically and in more words, Klefki is partially based on an old superstition that faeries liked to entertain themselves by stealing keys and other similarly inconsequential objects. As a result, followers of the Pagan faith sometimes blamed missing keys and other such shenanigans on faeries, because they're whimsical like that. And that explains why Klefki, which is a fairy type Pokemon, is noted as being a big fan of "collecting" keys, which it presumably steals from people who're stupid enough to try locking their flimsy wooden doors in a world where 20 foot long snakes made of diamond hard coal exist.

你們造，異教徒中有個習氣，那就是將問題怪罪於精靈。具體來說吧，就是酷炫鑰圈兒設計有一份部分來源於一個古代迷信。傳說精靈們閒來無事喜歡偷些鑰匙之類的小東西玩，所以如果異教徒們丟了鑰匙，或是被整蠱了等等，就會說"這是精靈乾的"——因爲精靈就是這樣頑皮！這下你能理解鑰圈兒爲什麼是精靈屬性，爲什麼成了鑰匙收集癖，而且大多數鑰匙還是偷來的了吧~對了，那些被偷了鑰匙的愚蠢人類，也不想想這個世界還有20英尺長的大巖蛇這種存在呢，居然以爲鎖住了那道薄薄的木門就能有什麼用？

woodo

3.胡說樹

In the games, Sudowoodo is a Pokemon that blocks access to a critical in-game path by disguising itself as a tree until the 10-year-old protagonist sprays it with a squirt bottle. If that sentence doesn't already make you feel a little uncomfortable, we should also point out that Sudowoodo looks like someone drew a caricature of a child molester's face onto a Slim Jim.

在遊戲裏，胡說樹會將自己僞裝成一棵樹，擋住關鍵路徑不讓人通過。但是，10歲的主角只是拿起灑水器澆了點水它就讓路了！如果這樣說了你還覺得這沒什麼不好的，那我就再形象一點——胡說樹長得就像Slim Jim肉棒上長了一張戀童癖的猥瑣臉！

Now, it's never really explained in the games or anime why this Pokemon has such an intense need to disguise itself as a tree, especially when it's explicitly mentioned that it hates one of the things trees need to live: water. However, it's stated that Sudowoodo is a rock-type Pokemon. This has led fans to surmise that Sudowoodo is based on petrified wood, or wood that has undergone the process of fossilisation and become rock. This is supported by Sudowoodo's name, which could be viewed as being a phonetic spelling of the word "pseudo," which means "false," and the word wood with an extra "O" slapped on the end for style. Meaning Sudowoodo's name literally translates to "false wood­," or something that looks like wood, but isn't. Then again, maybe we were onto something with the Slim Jim idea.

無論在遊戲裏還是動漫裏，都沒有解釋說這個神奇寶貝爲什麼一定要僞裝成一棵樹。而且那麼明顯，這"樹"它不像其他樹，它怕水啊！當然，那是因爲胡說樹不是草屬性的，而是巖屬性的。對於胡說樹這樣的奇葩設定，粉絲們不禁腦洞大開，認爲胡說樹的原型就是木化石，或是正在漸漸變成化石的木頭。這可以從胡說樹的名字中得到驗證："sudo"就像"pseudo"的音譯，在"wood"後綴上保持和諧的單字母"o"，整個名字就可以拼讀成"假的樹"啦，或者是看着似是而非的東西。當然，說不定Slim Jim肉棒也對胡說樹的形象設計有一份貢獻呢~

eo

2.凱路迪歐

There's no real way to get around this, so we're just going to say it: other than the fact it isn't being weirdly sexualized, Keldeo looks like a fan-drawn My Little Pony character. We'd make a joke or something to go here, but just by mentioning the words "My Little Pony" in a derogatory manner we've already ensured the best jokes are going to appear in our comments anyway when people come to yell at us.

想要避而不談這一事實？呵呵，你想多了！所以呢，真正的勇士敢於直面這樣的事實：凱路迪歐不僅神奇地沒有性別之分，它看上去還像是由《小馬寶莉》的粉絲根據動畫中的小馬形象創作出來的。本來我們是可以講個段子或婉轉點引出這事兒，但是！我們簡單粗暴地提到"小馬寶莉"這一事實，是因爲相信高手在民間啊，當人人都跑來圍觀時，最佳段子一定會出現在評論裏！

Rather than being based on a children's cartoon that is inexplicably popular with adult men who shouldn't be allowed near kids, Keldeo is actually based on a combination of a Chinese Unicorn and the fourth, and youngest, member of the Three Musketeers, d'Artagnan. If you're wondering how a magic horse is linked to a novel by Alexandre Dumas, Keldeo is the fourth and final member of the so-called "Swords of Justice." If that's not enough proof for you, Keldeo's tail is also somewhat reminiscent of d'Artagnan's signature and exceedingly pimp feathered cap.

凱路迪歐纔不是以莫名其妙深受一幫本該被禁止與兒童接觸的成年男性歡迎的卡通動畫爲基礎呢，其形象結合了中國獨角獸和《三個火槍手》中最年輕的第四個成員達達尼昂的特徵。如果你在想到底是多神奇的一匹馬才能和大仲馬的小說扯上關係的話，那麼我們要告訴你，凱路迪歐也是遊戲中所謂的三位"聖劍士"中第四名同時也是最後一名被接納進去的成員。如果這還不足以說服你的話，那麼凱路迪歐的尾巴是不是讓你覺得似曾相識呢？那就是達達尼昂那充滿個性的皮條客羽毛帽啊。

parce

1.土龍弟弟

Dunsparce looks like a cheap, Chinese knockoff of a rejected Disney design. It's such an offensively off-putting and ugly design that if you put its image onto a t-shirt, the words "TapOut" automatically appear next to them. It would almost be kind of cute in an "accidentally hit with a shovel" sort of way if it wasn't also almost five feet long. Luckily, according to the Pokedex, Dunsparce is also super rare, because apparently in the Pokemon universe, a five foot, bright yellow snake with wings can escape detection quite easily. Our guess is that these things are so butt ugly, nobody ever bothers looking for them.

土龍弟弟看上去就像是廉價的中國山寨版迪士尼設計，而且還是不合格的！它的設計真是又倒胃口又醜，簡直讓人無法直視，真是醜到只要你把土龍弟弟的圖片印在T恤衫上，"在下認輸"的字樣都會自動浮現在圖像旁邊了！它已經，醜到深處自然萌，要是它沒有近5英尺的身長的話，或許它也算是"不小心手滑纔打了一鏟子"的那種萌了吧。幸運的是，根據神奇寶貝圖鑑所示，土龍弟弟十分稀有，因爲很明顯在神奇寶貝世界中，這條五英尺長還長着翅膀的嫩黃色"蠢"蛇很容易掩人耳目。然而我們是這樣想的：土龍弟弟實在是醜到極致了，以至於根本沒人願意找它們。

Apparently Dunsparce's rarity isn't just a quirk of the game, but a subtle nod to its inspiration, the Tsuchinoko. That's a species of snake native to Japan that can supposedly leap several feet into the air, speak in fluent English, and escape detection by curling into a hoop and rolling away at high-speed. Like Dunsparce, the Tsuchinoko is exceptionally rare and a bit of a lard-ass since it's noted as being fatter in the middle that it is at either end. As you've probably guessed, the Tsuchinoko is a cryptid and there's no real proof it exists or ever has existed. Nevertheless, rumors and legends of its existence continue to persist across Japan to this day, which presumably led to its inclusion in the Pokemon series as Dunsparse. Why they chose to honor this piece of peculiar, traditional Japanese folklore with a Pokemon that looks like someone asked a slug with self-esteem issues to paint a self-portrait is anyone's guess.

很明顯，土龍弟弟的稀有並不僅僅只是遊戲的噱頭，而是對其原型槌子蛇的一種微妙的肯定。槌子蛇是一種日本土生土長的蛇，傳聞它可以跳躍到數英尺高的空中，還說得一口流利英文，一遇到危險就綣成一團，飛速滾走。和土龍弟弟一樣，槌子蛇極其稀有，還有個"肥屁股"，因爲傳聞中槌子蛇身體中間比它的兩端更胖一點。機智如你，可能已經猜到了，槌子蛇是一種神祕生物，目前爲止並沒有任何真憑實據能夠證實它的存在。儘管如此，有關槌子蛇的流言和傳說直到今天還在日本廣爲流傳，這大概也是神奇寶貝系列土龍弟弟誕生的原因吧。至於爲什麼他們要選擇通過這樣一隻奇形怪狀、看起來就像是一條自尊過剩的鼻涕蟲的自畫像的神奇寶貝來向這段既特殊又傳統的日本民間故事致敬，你猜？

審校：敖有沒 來源：前十網