哈佛心理學家建議撫養好孩子的方法

Ways to raise 'good' kids, according to Harvard psychologists

哈佛心理學家建議撫養“好”孩子的方法

Here are the 2 parenting strategies they outlined that are proven to raise caring children.

下面是哈佛心裏學家概括的2個有效關愛教育孩子的方法

1. Put Fun Time on the Calendar

1.在日曆上標註上娛樂時間

Why: Kids learn about care and respect when they are treated with care and respect, psychologists say. The best time to give them care and respect—when you.re doing something fun together!

原因：當孩子們受到了父母的關愛與尊重，他們也會學會關愛和尊重他人。當你們在一起做一些有意思的事情的時候，就是給予他們關愛和尊重最好的時間。

How: It's as simple as reading your child a bedtime story or playing tennis together. "Build one-on-one time into their weekly schedules rather than leaving it to chance," the findings suggest. That way you'll treat it just as importantly as that work meeting, and it's more likely to happen on a regular basis. Asking questions like "what was the best part of your day?" and "what did you accomplish today that makes you feel good?" can help them learn to think beyond the surface level of their actions and identify their feelings.

做法：就譬如在牀頭給孩子講故事或者一起打乒乓球那樣簡單。研究表明“在每週的計劃中都安排一次娛樂時間，而不是順其自然一起玩耍。”你需要像對待工作會議一樣重視娛樂時間，而且最好是定期玩一次。問一些問題，例如“你今天感覺最好的是什麼呢？”或者“你今天完成了什麼任務讓你感覺不錯？”，這些問題能夠幫助他們不止停留在行爲表面進行思考，而是明確自己的感受。

2. Be a Strong Role Model

2.做最強大的榜樣

Why: The experts say your child learns ethical values and behaviors by watching you.

原因：專家稱你的孩子通過觀察你學會道德觀念和行爲。

How: Pay close attention to whether or not you're practicing honesty, fairness, and caring for yourself. "Nobody is perfect all the time," the Harvard report points out. "That is why it's important for us, in fact, to model for children humility, self-awareness, and honesty by acknowledging and working on our mistakes and flaws." Your kids know you're not perfect—or they will when they get to their teenage years—so own it and use it as a chance to talk through your mistakes with your child.

做法：要密切注意自己是否表現誠實、公正，關愛自己。哈佛報告中指出“沒有人能時刻保持完美。實際上，這就是我們需要通過承認並改進自己的錯誤和缺點，成爲孩子謙虛、自覺、誠實的榜樣的重要原因。”你的孩子知道你並不完美——或者當他們長大成爲青少年的時候就會明白這一點——所以要利用自己的不完美，藉此機會與孩子討論自己的錯誤。