經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第10章1

Chapter 10
The body of Arthur Dent span.
The Universe shattered into a million glittering fragments around it, and each particular shard span silently through the void, reflecting on its silver surface some single searing holocaust of fire and destruction.
And then the blackness behind the Universe exploded, and each particular piece of blackness was the furious smoke of hell.
And the nothingness behind the blackness behind the Universe erupted, and behind the nothingness behind the blackness behind the shattered Universe was at last the dark figure of an immense man speaking immense words.
These, then, said the figure, speaking from an immensely comfortable chair, were the Krikkit Wars, the greatest devastation ever visited upon our Galaxy. What you have experienced…
Slartibartfast floated past, waving.
It’s just a documentary, he called out. This is not a good bit. Terribly sorry, trying to find the rewind control…
–…is what billions of billions of innocent…
Do not, called out Slartibartfast floating past again, and fiddling furiously with the thing that he had stuck into the wall of the Room of Informational Illusions and which was in fact still stuck there, agree to buy anything at this point.
–…people, creatures, your fellow beings…
Music swelled again, it was immense music, immense chords. And behind the man, slowly, three tall pillars began to emerge out of the immensely swirling mist.
–…experienced, lived through or, more often, failed to live through. Think of that, my friends. And let us not forget and in just a moment I shall be able to suggest a way which will help us always to remember that before the Krikkit Wars, the Galaxy was that rare and wonderful thing a happy Galaxy!
The music was going bananas with immensity at this point.
A Happy Galaxy, my friends, as represented by the symbol of the Wikkit Gate!

第十章
阿瑟感到天旋地轉。
宇宙迸裂爲千萬塊閃亮的碎片，每一塊碎片無聲地穿過夜空，在它們銀色的表面上，映出天火地劫之象。
宇宙背後的黑暗亦爆炸開來，每一塊黑暗都是來自地獄的滾滾濃煙。
宇宙背後的黑暗的背後的虛無噴發了。迸裂的宇宙背後的黑暗背後的虛無背後，有一個龐然黑影，說着一些龐然大話。
“於是，這……”黑影坐在一張龐然舒適的椅子上，說道，“……便是版求戰爭，我們銀河系所遭遇過的、最爲嚴重的災難。你所經歷的……”
司拉提巴特法斯飄飄蕩蕩地出現在一邊，招着手。
“這只是個資料片，”他喊着，“沒什麼意思。真的很抱歉，我在找倒帶按鈕……”
“……正是成億成兆的、無辜的……”
“千萬不要，”司拉提巴特法斯又飄過來了，惱怒地折騰那個剛纔被他插進信息幻影室牆上的東西——此時仍然插在那兒，“答應買他說的什麼東西。”
“……人們，造物們，你的同胞們……”
此時背景音樂驟然放大了音量，這是相當龐然的音樂，龐然的和聲。在那個說話人的身後，漸漸地，從龐然的旋渦狀霧氣中，顯現出三根高高的柱子。
“……所經歷的，所撐過的——或者，更有可能是沒撐過去的。想想看，朋友們。讓我們永遠不要忘記——我會馬上提議一個讓大家記住的方法——在版求戰爭之前，銀河系是出類拔萃、無與倫比的美好，是一個快樂的銀河系！”
音樂此時進入了龐然瘋狂的狀態。
“一個快樂的銀河系，我的朋友們，它的象徵，就是叄柱門 ！”